Honestly, I can’t tell whether this is real – as in “too good to check whether it’s actually happening” – or this is some sort of terrifying ruse cooked up by our government to threaten the radical Islamic forces that have started to, allegedly, mass within our borders, but Lindsay Lohan is reportedly converting to Islam.

Troubled Hollywood model, singer and actress Lindsay Lohan was spotted carrying the Holy Quran as she stepped out of a children’s center in Brooklyn, NY.

LindsAy was photographed holding the Quran after completing her first day of community service at the children’s center.

The American actress of Irish and Italian descent was raised as a Catholic. According to reports, the 28-year-old has embarked on an “emotional detox” by giving up alcohol and dating.

Earlier this year, she uploaded an Instagram image of a quote from the Quran but soon after deleted it.

I can’t tell you how badly I want this to be true. Obviously, the woman cycles through religions the way most starlets cycle through hair colors or sketchy boyfriends who claim to work “in the movie business” but really just clean up the craft service table. But I tend to think that her search for structure may lead her to stick with this one longer than most. If she doesn’t mind the whole giving up the (alleged) drug use and lesbianism thing.

As for Islam, well, while a portion of them may have committed heinous acts in the name of Allah, I can’t be totally sure they deserve this. They have their share of the crazies, but this may be a bridge too far in our global war on terrorism. America might have truly brought out the big guns here. It may, in fact, be our military’s finest hour.*

*Obviously, I am joking. Please refrain your comments to the merely personal.