We tried this once. It was a disaster because this is America and dammit, we’re not going to submit to a ridiculous European system of weights and measures just because some pantywaists can’t stomach gallons and miles. We’d given up on European superiority around the same time we had to traverse an ocean to win a World War they got us into. The second time.
But, apparently, some of us have yet to let go of the dream of converting a country of 300 million highway exit signs to kilometers, in order to appease our European betters. Its not enough that we’ve already subjected them to the potential fallout from a nuclear accident or forced their crumbling healthcare system to set our Secretary of State’s leg after a bicycle accident, now Lincoln Chafee is demanding that we conform to their ridiculous mathematical ideas, too and in the unlikely event he becomes President, he’ll do it, too.
Democratic presidential candidate Lincoln Chafee did not give a centimeter on his defense of the metric system Thursday, touting the economic benefits and the symbolic importance of the United States joining the rest of the world in implementing the measurement scale.
“People say it’s expensive, but the economic benefits outweigh the cost of changing the signs and the light … I think the chambers of commerce, the scientific community, the defense on metric, they’d agree with that,” the former Rhode Island governor said in an interview with CNN’s “New Day.”
Changing over to the metric system is “one of many things” the U.S. should do to become more international, he said, noting as he did on Wednesday that the U.S. is alone with Myanmar and Liberia as the only countries still not using the system. He did not go into further detail.
Like Chafee himself, this is essentially a fallback to the late 1970s, when people still though that Jimmy Carter could successfully negotiate a peace treaty with Iran and that high-waisted polyester shorts were a good idea to wear with roller skates. Fortunately for America, we’re reliving both the foreign policy era of incompetence and the resurgence of normcore, so why the heck shouldn’t we force ourselves to comply with a massive an unwanted national policy change? While we’re at it, let’s revive Cop Rock.
Come to think of it, unlike the other returning trends, Cop Rock wouldn’t be so bad, if it starred, say, Andy Samberg. Chafee can keep his metric system, though.
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