John Kerry Brought James Taylor to Apologize to France - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
John Kerry Brought James Taylor to Apologize to France

Apparently, in an act of apology for missing the anti-terrorism protests in France last Sunday, which featured over a million people including, but not limited to, leaders from most of the world’s major countries, we hauled 70s folk singer James Taylor all the way over to Paris to sing “You’ve Got a Friend’ at a press conferene. I don’t even know why we have a State Department anymore.

Just…Just watch the video. And maybe weep for the future of humanity. I don’t know. 

I think John Kerry was then expecting everyone to cuddle. 

America, I want you to understand that this is a real thing that happened. This is a thing and it happened and it was real and we did it. In response to terrorism. This might be the most embarrassing moment of my life and I once missed the announcement that a middle school spirit day was cancelled and showed up to 7th grade in a poodle skirt. 

This is worse, America. This is worse. The only consolation I can take from this is that perhaps ISIS now fears that, if they don’t stop their reign of terror, we might start re-introducing the world to more washed-up 1970s folk artists. Next time you murder someone, radical Jihadists. It’s Joan Baez

UPDATED: I’m still confused about this. I mean, it’s hilarious, but I wish I’d been a fly on the wall in the meeting that decided this, because there must have been multiple meetings to decide this. “Guys, you know what would really fix everything? Folk music. We should totally send them some folk music.” That person would be laughed out of anywhere except, apparently, the department in charge of negotiating our relationships with other countries that are supposed to have a healthy respect for our global position. And it leaves so many questions unanswered, as a strategy. What was plan B if this idea fell through? Was there a plan B? And who is going to apologize to France for us not sending Jerry Lewis? 

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