Jackie Calmes Wants You to Shut Your Mouth and Nod Your Head - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Jackie Calmes Wants You to Shut Your Mouth and Nod Your Head
by
Los Angeles Times columnist Jackie Calmes (PBS/Youtube)

Columnist Jackie Calmes has had a political epiphany at the Los Angeles Times. She woke up slightly disturbed, shook her head, got a little indignant, and sat down to write, possessed by some hidden Democratic strength. And that is how, suddenly, she realized something that had never occurred to anyone before: the easiest way for Democrats to stay in power forever is to eliminate Republicans. The good news is that, for the moment, the proposed elimination is only figurative, media-friendly. The bad news (for her) is that we conservatives are laughing our asses off at Calmes’ discovery. Out of the entire article, my favorite finding is her “new truth,” which is the euphemism Calmes uses to avoid saying that she is actually suggesting to her colleagues that everything is justified in the fight against Republicans, trolling included.

Perhaps you have not been lucky enough to read Calmes’ cheerful writing, spontaneously and unexpectedly applauded by dozens of left-wing journalists, who are also in favor of eliminating the Republicans. So I will summarize it for you, and please excuse me if I add some clarifying comments.

I started to chafe at false equivalence a quarter-century ago, as a congressional reporter amid Newt Gingrich’s Republican revolution.

I told you in the past, my GOP friends, that it is never a good idea to limit catering for journalists’ to cold croquettes, cheap wine, and potato chips. She’s still resentful about it.

Journalistic pressure to produce seemingly “balanced” stories … prevented reporters from sufficiently reflecting the new truth.

Explanation: the new truth is superior knowledge to which only a very limited number of fortunate people have access. Specifically, just one: Jackie Calmes.

The ascension of Donald Trump four years later should not have been such a surprise.

Jackie, Trump did not star in any ascension; that is the exclusive grace of Our Lord. Actually, it’s simpler than that: Trump was promoted by more than 62 million American voters. You know, Jackie, lowlifes, abhorrent types, and an assortment of fascists.

To the extent, then, that journalists and pundits focus critically on President Biden … — as if the cancer of Trumpism was in remission, if not cured — that indeed distorts reality and disserves readers, listeners and viewers.

Children, take note: criticizing Biden’s stupidities distorts reality. Everyone knows that the main mission of journalists in an advanced democracy, such as Cuba, Venezuela, or the United States of Calmes, is to harshly attack the opposition.

Democracy is literally at stake

I totally agree. All we have to do is read you.

Democrats, with their minimal House and Senate majorities, can’t count on a single Republican vote for most legislation, while one Republican senator can routinely block action with a filibuster.

Calmes also thinks it’s wrong for conservatives to vote for conservative things and against progressive nonsense.

Trumpists on social media seem to gloat over high case numbers.

Hahahaha. No doubt. We crack open a beer with every new case, Jackie!

On Saturday, the Senate’s most senior Republican, Sen. Charles E. Grassley, gleefully accepted Trump’s endorsement for re-election at a rally in Iowa where Trump repeatedly lied that he’d beaten Biden.

Dear Sen. Charles E. Grassley: next time do me a favor and accept Trump’s endorsement with crying, kicking, and screaming “I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”

Democrats can’t be expected to deal with these guys like they’re on the level. Nor should journalists cover them as if they are.

OK. Now I’ve got it all figured out, Jackie. Here’s my butt cheek so you can tattoo the star. But be careful with that needle, for God’s sake.

Itxu Díaz
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Itxu Díaz is a Spanish journalist, political satirist, and author. He has written 10 books on topics as diverse as politics, music, and smart appliances. He is a contributor to The Daily Beast, The Daily Caller, National Review, American Conservative, and Diario Las Américas in the United States, as well as a columnist at several Spanish magazines and newspapers. He was also an adviser to the Ministry for Education, Culture, and Sports in Spain.
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