Hell, if the Obama Administration were willing to give me a cool $700M per month, even I’d negotiate with John Kerry. I don’t really know what we’d negotiate about but I’d certainly show up every day dressed to the nines, ready to nod a lot and look interested, which is basically what Iran did, anyway.

We knew about this a little last year, but the Administration noted that it was simply “speculation” by unfriendly media sources. Today, as the official report surfaces alongside a Congressional panel appearance by the whole Iranian negotiations crew, we find out that the speculation was correct, at least going forward. As Iran “negotiated” for their right to arm themselves to the teeth with nuclear weapons, they were reportedly getting around $700 million per month in unfrozen assets as an “incentive” to stay at the bargaining table, and now that they’re done “bargaining,” they’re getting a slightly lower price for their time: a measley $500 million per month, or so.

Because, obviously.

The P5+1 and EU have also committed to take certain actions to facilitate Iran’s access to $4.2 billion in restricted Iranian funds on a set schedule at regular intervals throughout the six months.  Access to a small portion of these funds will be linked to Iran’s progress in completing the dilution process for near-20% enriched uranium.  Iran will not have access to the final installment of the $4.2 billion until the last day of the six-month period. 

You can read the full installment plan just below that phrase in the report. 

While lifting sanctions would most definitely help the Iranian people, the P5+1 bargaining team never specified that the back payments have to be used to, say, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, provide running water, electricity or civil rights to a growing number of Iranians who have suffered because of their government. Most likely, that additional “incentive” payment will go right back the nuclear mullahs, who will use it to buy more yellowcake for those reactors they didn’t tell the P5+1 committe about, but are most definitely there (they have 24 days to report them to the IAEA. Something tells me they won’t).

That’s all assuming that Iran complies, of course, which is also in question. According to the report, the IAEA will be responsible for ensuring Iraqi complaince – something they didn’t really do so well in other countries – based on samples that Iran provides to the IAEA. Even the New York Times knows that’s not going to work. 

The good news is, I guess, that Code Pink likes the Obama Administration again. So they won something, right?