The overlooked big news this week was the bloodless coup over at Random House, which saw the Obamas sign a joint deal for their White House memoirs at upwards of $60 million. Notice the gender games at work here. We don’t know if he gets $40 million, say, and she only $20 million. Pay inequality indeed. Or he might be the total wimp and it’s the other way around and she’s out-earning him by twenty million and just helping him save face by not going public with proof of her superior earning power.
Truth be told, we haven’t really felt her absence. Heard anyone at all say they miss her? Or express regret she wasn’t seated in the House balcony the other night? Sadly, that’s no way to treat the most respected woman in America if not the world. To be fair, we do admire at least one big thing about her: she didn’t mobilize the intelligence community to provide research assistance for her presidential memoir. In case she hasn’t noticed, her husband of these last many years has been in bed with some very bad apples. He’s well on his way to becoming the first president impeached post-presidentially. Even that guy Alinsky never called on his charges to spy the hell out of their successors and to blacken their reputations and sabotage their rule. (At least not when we recorded his calls.) This isn’t politics. It’s criminality. And all the co-conspirators know who they are.
They include Ms. Valerie Jarrett, who is moving into the impeachee’s manse in Northwest Washington. No report yet whether she’ll be given the master bedroom or a maid’s room. Or what about the apartment above the garage? From watching Homeland we know who else is going to live with them: The Iranian ambassador. Stay tuned, if you know Farsi.
As if a jowly Russki ambassador sourly named Kislyak were remotely a comparable threat. For starters, the Obamaistas need to get on the same page. Just the other week the Russian ambassador to the UN died. He apparently had charmed the socks off Mr. Obama’s ambassador to Turtle Bay, Dr. Samantha Power, who penned a tribute to him in the New York edition of Pravda. Its title: “My Friend, the Russian Ambassador.” What about his KGB connections? Not a word. So by default this became our favorite line: “Even when our positions were miles apart, we always took each other’s calls.” We wonder who recorded whom. We’ll shell out for Obama’s memoir to find out. Surely at times Samantha and Vitaly listened in together on Donald Trump’s calls to Billie Babushki.
One other thing about the Russia-Iran comparison. All of crazed D.C. has Russian buzzing in its ears and if it’s Russian there has to be a conservative Trumpian maintaining contact with the source of the Cyrillic. In the best argument for shutting the Washington Post down for good, if only as an act of mercy, longtime pinko pundit Dana Milbank complained about Congress becoming the state Duma under Trump’s command last Tuesday night. Why? Because the president never used the word “Russia” in his 60 minute address. Had it been Reagan committing that sin, Milbank would have complained that the warmonger had wiped Russia from this earth. Very hard one to please, this mountebank Milbank, even though the same Trump at a previous appearance had mentioned that he easily could have blown a Russian spy ship off our coast into kingdom come.
That’s the trouble with the Milbanks of the world — we never know how shifts in the party line will affect their mood. And perceptions. At Enemy Central we prefer clarity to cowardice. On Russia we know what Obama told Medvedev about having great flexibility in his second term. On Iran we know that Obama sent plane loads of hard-earned U.S. taxpayer cash to the mullahs in amounts the Clinton Foundation could only dream of getting its greedy paws on. Yet it’s the gentlemanly attorney general, for exchanging a hello at a convention social with a jowly Russian, who should be driven out of Washington?
Two will have to play this game. If it’s Russia the new McCarthyites want, we can give it to them. One of that country’s longstanding traditions was preventing those exiled to Siberia from ever returning to Moscow or St. Petersburg, even after their release from the Gulag. So as for our previous president and his unbound treachery, it’ll only be fair that he, as a permanent repeat Enemy of the Week offender, not be allowed to reside anywhere in the District of Columbia and vicinity ever again. Ms. Jarrett will have to make other arrangements. And President Trump will be allowed to tweet to his heart’s content about a former president holing up for years now inside the Kenyan Embassy.