From the haircut right down to the cankles, there isn’t much about Hillary Clinton that can rightfully be considered “cool.” But the first order of business for Camp Hillary, ahead of actually announcing her intention to run for the Democratic nomination, is to change all that – by relocating her as-yet-to-exist campaign headquarters to Brooklyn, where all the cool kids and their locally-sourced vegan non-dairy, environmentally compassionate brunch places are.
According to The Hill, campaign staff have been seen canvassing the hip borough for office space, and may, in fact, be planning to head up Hillary 2016 from some art loft space over an Urban Outfitters just to be close to the people they so desperately need to impress.
Insiders say Clinton aides are looking at Brooklyn as a possible location, and that an office in White Plains, near the Clintons’s Chappaqua, N.Y., home, has been all but ruled out.
For months, some in the Clinton universe thought that setting up the campaign in or around White Plains, a middle-class enclave with dozens of office parks, would be a good home for the former secretary of State’s second presidential campaign.
But using Brooklyn for its headquarters could be a useful symbol for a campaign that hopes to win over young people and has already been attacked by Republicans as “old news.”
The borough is New York City’s most populous, and has had a renaissance over the last decade as many of its neighborhoods have been transformed. It is also one of the most ethnically diverse areas of the United States — another aspect Clinton’s team will want to highlight as it seeks to attract minority voters.
Unfortunately, it seems, as far as the true hipsters are concerned, that Brooklyn is far too gentrified to be considered a worthwhile investment. In order to appear “cutting edge” to young liberals like her perennial foe Barack Obama, Clinton may have to investigate other options, like an organic chicken ranch located just outside Portland, Oregon, or a “tiny house” community in rural Texas, but within vintage-Ford-truck driving distance of Austin, a rent-avoiding experimental art community in downtown Detroit, or one of those nifty anti-vaccine enclaves in southern California. Brooklyn’s rents are just too high for upper-middle-class, lily-white trust-funded populations.
Thankfully, I suppose, for Clinton’s team, being five years behind the curve is still ahead of anything the Republicans have yet to offer. That is, until one of them opens up shop in a food truck. Scott Walker should probably get on that.