Concerning Marie Kondo’s Epiphany - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Concerning Marie Kondo’s Epiphany
Marie Kondo

Marie Kondo has always struck me as a psychopath. As I have never been a member of her team, I can enjoy her fall from grace. I know that a Christian should not rejoice in the misfortunes of others, but anything that happens to an organizational guru who has made millions off of people all over the world going crazy matters to me. Now she admits that it is impossible to have a tidy home with children. She was wrong before, and she’s wrong now.

Tidying up costs time, money, and effort. It has to be done constantly. If you spend five minutes without tidying the room, the room gets messy. For this very reason, tidiness is a common cause of anxiety and depression. On the other hand, order is a dubious concept. What looks like a tidy room to you will look like a lion’s den to any of your friends, and to Kondo, it’s probably a reason to sell the house. And that which looks like chaos to you will look like hell to any of her friends. In few things do men and women so clearly manifest their inequality of reasoning as in the perception of order, however much the Democrats are incapable of understanding it.

Modern houses are full of machines. The only good thing that can be said in favor of technological devices is that they keep themselves in order. At least that’s what happens with the computer. The major pending conquest is that, just as the cellphone’s address book can be sorted alphabetically at the touch of a button, someone should finally invent a library that can be sorted at the touch of a button. The bad thing about technology is that in addition to being tidy on the inside, it must also be tidy on the outside. I mean, even if you have a perfectly tidy Windows desktop, if your PC is sitting on the bathroom sink, it can still be considered untidy. Therefore, technological devices have to be tidied up twice. And sometimes, not even that will do it.

Then there are the robots. Hateful appliances that mess themselves up. This is the case of the robot vacuum cleaner, which when left in one place in the house, two hours later will appear somewhere else, tangled up with some shirt that should not have been anywhere near the hallway floor. Seen from this perspective, order and technology are incompatible. But in reality, if we dig a little deeper, we will find that order is incompatible with everything.

Sometimes order is unavoidable. If you are a surgeon and your patients visit you at your home, you will have no choice but to tidy up your practice. There is nothing more stressful than having a patient cut open and not finding the right prosthesis for the femur. It takes ages of rummaging around the house looking for the artificial femur, risking installing a kidney in its place, or something worse. And then there is the anesthesia. The patient usually adds to the chaos, waking up at the most inconvenient moment, making things worse with their screaming, while you rummage around desperately. Patients can be a little over the top.

For Marie Kondo, clutter has helped her to appreciate other lifestyles, for example that of a writer. There is nothing on the face of the earth messier than my desk. It’s not just that I have papers and books on the table, it’s more that I haven’t seen the tabletop for several years now, and I’ve even begun to doubt its existence.

Order is a human convention with a strange origin. Sociologists point out that order is something learned, like so many other things. The indigenous tribes of the Amazon do not know order. Nature bases its order on chaos, albeit a balanced chaos. The problem with her home is that this chaos is in pure imbalance. That said, things are usually messy unless you take the trouble to put them in their place. So messing things up is as simple as leaving everything as it is and going downstairs to watch the game with friends at the nearest bar.

That said, you have to be pretty miserable to blame the kids for your messy home. I’m beginning to think that this lady was convinced that her children would come out of the womb folded over five times and color-coded. As far as I’m concerned, happiness is like a load of kids playing war games, throwing everything into the air, and leaving the house looking like Joe Biden’s brain.

Itxu Díaz
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Itxu Díaz is a Spanish journalist, political satirist, and author. He has written 10 books on topics as diverse as politics, music, and smart appliances. He is a contributor to The Daily Beast, The Daily Caller, National Review, American Conservative, and Diario Las Américas in the United States, as well as a columnist at several Spanish magazines and newspapers. He was also an adviser to the Ministry for Education, Culture, and Sports in Spain.
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