I’m really ready for some good news, guys, like that Nick Offerman has permanently become Ron Swanson and that he’s running for President on the “build your own damned American dream” ticket. I can’t take any more of these half-considered declarations. 

Chris Christie, who MSNBC has been trying to pin a bridge SNAFU on for close to two years, is looking to take his New Jersey circus on the road, so after much consideration and a few low-fat cupcakes, Chris Christie has decided that he will declare his intention to seek the GOP nomination for President later this week or early next. 

Chris Christie is in the final stages of preparing his 2016 presidential bid, with a formal announcement possible as soon as next week, according to several sources familiar with the discussions.

The New Jersey governor’s planning has intensified in recent days. On Monday, his campaign-in-waiting announced that he’d hired two additional staffers in New Hampshire, a state seen as critical to his White House hopes. Earlier this month, Maria Comella, a longtime Christie aide, departed the governor’s official office to take a senior position at his political action committee.

I mean…I just…okay.

Look, I don’t mind Chris Christie. He’s plainspoken, he’s got a good record of debating women without looking like a sexist pig, he’s managed to elude the long and meandering opposition research tendrils from American Bridge, and he regrets most of the decision he made that are at odds with the conservative base. It is time for Christie to move on from New Jersey, too – his poll numbers have been steadily declining and his straightforward demeanor is wearing on the people who once thought it fresh and novel. But he’s unafraid to be confrontational and, unlike Jeb Bush, he’s a moderate with a mission.

But he’s also Chris Christie. So, there’s that.