In the middle of the local election period in towns all over Spain, what with the hustle and bustle of rallies, the enthusiastic masses, and the partying afterwards — you know, a little wine, a little dancing, a few drinks (this is Spain, not Germany) — we lost track of a guy who goes by the name of Pedro Sánchez, although the American progressive press, always so excessive, have been known to call him “Mr. Handsome” whilst still managing to get their knickers in a twist when I say that the only flaw I see in the now former prime minister of Finland is that she is a socialist. Whatever — we let the boy out of our sight for five minutes, and we have to find out from the press that Sánchez has traveled to the United States, even having his picture taken at the White House with Joe Biden, who was also a bit lost, although in his case that’s to be expected.
READ MORE from Itxu Díaz: TikTokers, Beware the Bad Habit of Reading
Sánchez is, for the time being, president of Spain, although, as an inveterate narcissist and pathological megalomaniac, he usually presents himself as the King of the Universe, the Elephant Man, or the Incredible Hulk. I’m sorry President Joe Biden thought that this was an official visit with the objective of strengthening the undoubted fraternal ties between our two nations, when the simple truth is that the Spanish socialist leader has dreamt for years of getting his picture taken at the White House in the middle of Spanish elections. Please let this be a warning: With Spanish presidential elections at the end of the year, put NASA on alert, because there is a chance that the White House will seem too small for Sánchez, and he will be after a photo of greater impact for his campaign — perhaps one aboard a space rocket, or a selfie eating breakfast on the International Space Station.
The truth is that if Biden has opened his doors this Friday to our fugitive president, it was not only out of compassion for the pilgrim with nowhere to spend the night, but in exchange for people: We have known for days that Sánchez, in order to get his photo today, agreed with Biden to receive several fistfuls of the Central and South American immigrants who give the Democratic president so many headaches. I must say that this is the closest thing to human trafficking I have ever seen; however, seeing as it has taken place between two socialists, there is no chance that anyone will be condemning it. Nor could it be considered unethical, or anything like that.
What I find funniest about the agreement is that Sánchez justifies his generosity in that Spain needs labor, when we are a country that, in addition to having a serious security problem with immigration, has in its numbers 3.1 million unemployed, 3.1 million people sitting on their butts at home doing nothing thanks to the wonderful socialist management of unemployment benefits — and we have the highest unemployment rate of the OECD countries.
At least this visit to the White House has given the fugitive Sánchez a chance to tell Biden one of his jokes (I think), saying, “The world needs a US president … committed to good fights, like you.” As if that were not enough, the Spanish president took advantage of his visit to Washington to award the Grand Cross of the Order of Isabella the Catholic, the state’s highest civilian decoration, to Nancy Pelosi. According to the order’s code, up until today this decoration aimed to “reward extraordinary civic behavior, by Spaniards and foreigners, in benefit of the Nation or that contribute, in a relevant way, to further friendship and cooperation between the Spanish Nation and the rest of the International Community.” As of today, the order’s revised code should state that it aims to “reward those people who facilitate Pedro Sánchez’s photo op at the White House during an election campaign, and Nancy Pelosi too, even though the Democratic leader couldn’t place Spain on a world map.”
I don’t want to rain on Pelosi’s parade, but this decoration, once a motive for international pride, was also bestowed by Sánchez — 10 days ago — upon the clown Gustavo Petro, who is today a part-time dictator and was once a terrorist in his free time.
In any case, may these words act as an apology to our sister nation of America, so beloved in Spain, for letting our president escape and subsequently sneak into the White House, perpetrating what seems like some sort of viral TikTok challenge by the Spanish government, and for any inconvenience it may have caused. We will try to ground him for a month without social networks.