Why would America’s enemies ever target Hollywood? That industry of parasitical pacifists is far more useful to them strong than scattered. As the actors bloated themselves at award ceremonies this last weekend — celebrating artistic “independence” in one breath, condemning American “unilateralism” in the next — 15 or so U.S. soldiers died. The contrast between Hollywood’s “All That Jazz” weekend and pictures of dead American soldiers was obscene.
But those who snort coke think they also serve. At the Independent Spirit Awards on Saturday, award winners patted each other on the back for their brave independence. I didn’t hear a word from them about the bravery and heroic independence of our soldiers. Instead, Hollywood’s Big Fat Idiot Michael Moore accused George Bush of “terrorism” and independent filmmakers mumbled about their distress at America’s “unilateral” direction.
True, Moore got loudly booed at the Oscars, but moments earlier actors had leapt to their feet to applaud him lustily. Actress Diane Lane practically squealed with glee as she announced his award for a documentary exposing America’s “gun culture.” Why did some in the Oscar crowd turn on him? Not because he was antiwar, but because he behaved like such a classless oaf. His machine-gun use of the word “fictitious” scared even Hollywood’s lefties. “We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in a time where we have fictitious election results, that elect a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons,” he said. Thanks to the Oscars’ brutal innovation of the disappearing microphone (used on actors in minor categories who can’t stop babbling), Moore couldn’t complete his now-tired witticism about the “pope and the Dixie Chicks.” (Host Steve Martin, sensing that the crowd needed a little levity after the tension of Moore’s tantrum, joked that he witnessed a scene of great comity back stage when he saw the Teamsters helping Moore into the trunk of his limo.)
How did the chortling celebrities justify their orgy of egotism this weekend? On the grounds that the country needs to keep up “morale” — theirs. The refrain of “All That Jazz,” played incessantly throughout the Oscars, epitomized the decadence of the weekend’s events.
But even as Hollywood danced toward hell, it still tried to occupy the moral high ground. Actors not known for leading peaceful lives posed as great experts on peace. Lawless actors and directors spoke of the importance of “international legality.” The Oscars honored a statutory rapist — Roman Polanski — then one of its leaders fretted about the children in Iraq.
Oh how Hollywood hates violence and bloodshed. Except, that is, when it is slapped on screen or glorified in music. Then it is mark of praiseworthy independence. Pacifist Hollywood even gave an Oscar to rapper Eminem; Barbra Streisand giggled with excitement as she announced the award.
Nonconformist actors are terribly worried that America is not conforming to international expectations. Latin Americans at the Oscars, along with Spain’s Pedro Almodovar, all of them hailing from countries famous for violent revolution, seemed the most eager to chastise America for going it alone. The director Almodovar is worried about America’s unchecked license (it is not observing international laws, he says) and a Mexican actor declared that if “Frida” were alive today she would oppose the war with Iraq. Actress Salma Hayek raised her arms in triumph at that sentiment. Communists still enjoy a following in Hollywood.
It is amusing to watch such unrestrained cads castigate the Bush administration for a lack of restraint. Divorce, disorder, turmoil, squabbles — this is Hollywood’s specialty.
When did actors gain a special insight into building a peaceful world? They could start by not kissing each other’s wives. Adrien Body, who won best actor for his role in The Pianist, performed an impressively narcissistic stunt by planting an Al Gore-like kiss on Hallie Berry, scolding the cue-card man for not giving him more time to ramble (he only gets this chance “once,” he said), and then rapped up by somberly praying for peace. Many in the crowd were in tears. They could have their Oscar cake and eat it too.
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