Brownie, You're Doing a Heck of a Job - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Brownie, You’re Doing a Heck of a Job

Just what is wrong with you people? No matter how much time, trouble and federal tax money your betters expend trying to pound sense into your heads, you can’t seem to absorb the most basic of political lessons. Why can’t you understand that unreformed Talibans deserve a Yale education, why global warming is a bigger threat than terrorism, or why the UN is the last, best hope of mankind? All of you, especially those who live in Middle America, should pay more attention to the greats who walk among us such as UN Deputy Secretary General Mark Malloch Brown.

Brown’s patience with us is running out. But, like the UN gave Saddam another last chance and another and another, Brown is giving us one. A couple of weeks ago, Amb. John Bolton suggested that at the end of this year, when Kofi Annan leaves, his hand-picked staffers should leave with him. Sounds pretty reasonable. When Al Capone left, Frank Nitti, Ralph “Bottles” Capone and Jake “Greasy Thumb” Grizik also, ah, left. Last week, in apparent response to Bolton’s comment, Brown went on a safari to preach to the ignorant serfs he believes make up America.

In a speech to a bunch of UN supporters, Brown delivered himself of the opinion that because the Bush administration is seeking to use the UN as a diplomatic tool, it has a duty to defend it against American critics, saying that if Bush didn’t, “You will lose the UN one way or another.” As if we had it to begin with. Brown said not only that the Bush administration was failing to lobby Americans to support the UN, but that its silence was misleading America. He claimed that the UN was “constructively engaged” on everything from Lebanon to Afghanistan to Syria, Iran and the Palestinian issue. But, he said, “that is not well known or understood in part because much of the public discourse that reaches the U.S. heartland has been largely abandoned to its loudest detractors such as Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.” We of The American Spectator take umbrage at having been left off that list.

The best thing that you can say about Brown’s speech is that his condescension went over his audience’s heads. They’re Democrats, and ever eager to feel bad about America. They know that all you denizens of fly-over country don’t count. You’re too dumb to understand. None of them cares that you Heartlanders feed half the world and that your sons and daughters spend their lives in defense of freedom whenever they’re called to do so. The UN is only concerned with rank, privilege, and expense accounts which you have a duty to sustain with the sweat of your brow. It’s really a pity that when Kofi came to his pal’s defense he didn’t use the line perfectly suited for it: “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”

Brown said that the U.S., like other nations, “is beset by problems that defy national, inside-the-border solutions: climate change, terrorism, nuclear proliferation, migration, the management of the global economy, the internationalization of drugs and crime, the spread of diseases such as HIV and avian flu.” And what, pray, has the UN done about any of these things? Nothing, except its best to prevent American action to solve the most important problems facing civilization. Brown thinks UN control of the U.S. action is the benefit we get: UN management of global security issues meant “the give and take of multilateral bargaining, but any dilution of American positions was more than made up for by the added clout of action that enjoyed global support.” It would have been very useful for Brown to list the occasions of that support we enjoyed, because none come to mind.

Amb. Bolton — in the first remark from him I recall disagreeing with — demanded Brown apologize. It would be much better if Brown didn’t, because what he said was obviously both sincere and heartfelt. It’s time for us to take seriously what Brown said and act upon it.

Shortly after 9-11, the UN claimed jurisdiction over the problem of terrorism. And in the nearly five years since, the UN hasn’t even agreed on a definition of terrorism because the terrorist regimes are members in good standing. Algore’s fave, the Kyoto global warming treaty, exempts some of the world’s biggest polluters (such as Communist China) and puts the burden on the U.S. economy. Nothing — absolutely nothing — has been done by the UN about nuclear proliferation. The UN’s only achievements are scandals great and small ranging from the largest financial rip-off in history (“Oil for Food”), child abuse in the Congo (UN peacekeepers raping young girls) and the millions of dollars stolen from the training budget of the World Meteorological Association. (Apparently even the UN weathermen are crooks). When we demand action to remedy problems, nothing is done. That, to Brownie, is our fault because of “the widely held perception…that the U.S. tends to hold on to maximalist positions when it could be finding middle ground.” Compromise your principles and you can do very well at the UN.

The UN budget is a horrific compilation of global pork-barreling. Its staff is at least twice the size it should be and their salaries are — by design — the highest of any government organization anywhere. And that’s not nearly the worst of it. Our $3.5 billion in “mandatory” dues to the UN goes for such essentials as the General Assembly at which terrorists enjoy equal rights and privileges accorded civilized nations, million-dollar meetings of committees that want to create UN control of the Internet and every other anti-Western, anti-civilizational activity imaginable. We pay about another $3 billion in “voluntary” contributions to a long string of unaccountable UN agencies and to UN “peacekeeping” missions. Brownie, of course, insists that we’ve abandoned the UN because we’re not donating even more money. “But the only government not fully supporting the project is the U.S. Too much unchecked UN-bashing and stereotyping over too many years — manifest in a fear by politicians to be seen to be supporting better premises for overpaid, corrupt UN bureaucrats — makes even refurbishing a building a political hot potato.” Unchecked UN bashing? If he could, Brown would end UN bashing by repealing the First Amendment. Brownie wants us to repent by picking up the multi-billion-dollar tab for the reconstruction. A much better solution would be for us to pay for construction of a new UN building anywhere outside the U.S. they want it.

Mark Malloch Brown’s remarks were an honest expression of his deepest beliefs. He, like the rest of the UN’s overpaid diplocrats, has only disdain for Americans and everything we stand for. Enough is enough. It’s time to cut off the money to the unserious, uncapable, and unaccountable UN.

TAS contributing editor Jed Babbin is the author of Inside the Asylum: Why the UN and Old Europe Are Worse Than You Think (Regnery, 2004) and, with Edward Timperlake, Showdown: Why China Wants War With the United States (Regnery, May 2006 — click here to obtain a free chapter).

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