30 Really Obnoxious Things That Can Now Be Said on Twitter - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
30 Really Obnoxious Things That Can Now Be Said on Twitter
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Elon Musk in interview with the Babylon Bee, December 22, 2021 (The Babylon Bee/YouTube)

Elon Musk has done it. Now that Twitter is going to be self-driving and Tesla cars won’t be able to carry more than 140 characters, lots of progressive people are already packing their bags to take off for Mars with SpaceX. The world is going to be more fun and everything will happen fast, so I’ve already started drafting the things I plan to tweet as soon as Musk amputates the thought police from the social network:

  1. If it has a corkscrew, it’s a man. If not, it’s a woman.
  2. Groundhog Phil predicted six more weeks of freaking winter, so a little global warming wouldn’t hurt.
  3. Electric cars are a logical mode of transport only to those who during their childhood dreamed of Scalextric cars working outside the slots.
  4. Murderers should rot in jail, and rapists too, after losing their reproductive organs.
  5. I will confess something truly reactionary and fascist, with the words from a song by my compatriot Julio Iglesias: I like women, I like wine; and if I have to forget them, I drink and I forget.
  6. Contemporary feminism is destroying women much more than chauvinism ever did.
  7. There is nothing amazing about living alone and empowered. What is amazing is being a mother of a large family and making ends meet with Biden’s rate of inflation.
  8. Now that Biden can tweet freely, will someone please tell him where the hell he left his phone?
  9. Taxes are a socially accepted but morally atrocious robbery.
  10. Mark Zuckerberg is an “enlightened” man who has never read a thick book in his life.
  11. Jack Dorsey is completely insane.
  12. For more than 20 years, Bill Gates has been nothing more than a frozen screen with legs.
  13. Black Lives Matter was the scam of the century.
  14. [Insert any tweet that tells the truth about Hunter Biden.]
  15. That idiot López Obrador should thank Spain. If it were not for the Spaniards, his brilliant political career would have ended abruptly at the age of six months, on an altar, offered in sacrifice to the god of rain.
  16. Since its inception, the MeToo movement was the subliminal message for the Democrats’ election campaign. Progressive marketing.
  17. Netflix is a garbage sprinkler that is filling half the planet’s mind with crap.
  18. Abortion is the worst genocide in human history. And the Left is to blame.
  19. Maduro is a fool and a murderer. In that order.
  20. John Kerry is proof that the contemporary Left is a disease.
  21. Students do not need more Woke, but more St. Thomas Aquinas.
  22. Everyone should have the opportunity to stop being homosexual if he feels like it and by whatever means available.
  23. The European Union is a graveyard of dinosaurs who, having been haunted by Greta Undead, have decided quite altruistically and courageously to save the planet with my money.
  24. Emmanuel Macron represents everything that is wrong with France since the 18th century.
  25. The modern progressive journalist is a violent activist on Twitter while lecturing about impartiality and vocational journalism in the newspaper.
  26. Abusing the word chauvinism, something the Left loves to do, has resulted in everyone labeling a “chauvinist” those who we once called “asshole.”
  27. I miss Donald Trump.
  28. The Left hates freedom of speech for one reason only: because it hates freedom. (READ MORE: Elon Musk Has a Better Plan Than Breaking Up Big Tech)
  29. Most sex education lessons would be better learned if the teachers were sent to the psychiatrist.
  30. What the hell are the hordes of right-wing-Twitter-account-reporting censors, on the payroll of the usual crowd, going to do for work now?
Itxu Díaz
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Itxu Díaz is a Spanish journalist, political satirist, and author. He has written 10 books on topics as diverse as politics, music, and smart appliances. He is a contributor to The Daily Beast, The Daily Caller, National Review, American Conservative, and Diario Las Américas in the United States, as well as a columnist at several Spanish magazines and newspapers. He was also an adviser to the Ministry for Education, Culture, and Sports in Spain.
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