They're Coming To Get You, Barbara...To The Polls - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
They’re Coming To Get You, Barbara…To The Polls

And you thought Obamacons were strange? Try this: John Russo and Russell Streiner, screenwriter and producer, respectively, of the original 1968 Night of the Living Dead, have just called the zombie vote in favor of Barack Obama. “This certainly proves that their dead, rotting hearts are in the right place!” they gleefully announced, awarding Obama the same constituency that helped put JFK over the top, and the one constituency with presumably mushier, more malleable brains than toddlers:

Tired of being mocked, tired of seeing the country go to hell in a hand-basket because of the brain-dead policies of the George W. Bush presidency, the zombies are going after the fat-cats who aided and abetted his colossal blunders. From now on, until Obama is righteously elected, they have vowed to dine only on the flesh of these greedy, self-serving, hypocritical lobbyists and legislators.

And if it helps sell a few “Zombies Rule! Fat Cats Suck!” T-shirts and posters…well, for a lot of people making a little ancillary cash money on the revolution would be change they can believe in.

This isn’t anything new, really. There isn’t space in a blog post to recite the increasingly hectoring politics of George Romero’s subsequent zombie movies, but only a few years back Joe Dante’s Homecoming envisioned dead Iraq war vets coming back to life to kill an Ann Coulter stand-in and vote out a war-mongering Republican president. To Russo and Steiner, such politicking makes the case that today’s zombies are “not really stupid, they’re not really brain dead, in fact they’re a lot smarter than many living people who put zombies down and consider themselves superior” and, granting that superiority, the pair also believe the undead present a challenge to the living:

The zombies can’t get to their voting places as fast as you can. Yet, in their stiff, slow-moving, rigor mortis kind of way, they’re going to the polls in record numbers to vote for Barack Obama! Are they smarter than you? Are you dumb enough to vote for someone else? Are zombies more dedicated, more inspired, more sincere and more motivated than you are when it comes to doing something righteous and noble for America?

They very well might be, I suppose. In retort, I can only say: At least I never stabbed my mother to death with a garden trowel or celebrated my reanimation with a feast of human flesh. I guess it takes motivation to run down people and force them to (re)live exactly like you. And it’s better to be lectured on hope and carted off to the polls to do the smart thing than be lunch for a rotting corpse. I grant this. Yet, even if hanging with Rev. Wright and Bill Ayers is off limits, you would think the McCain campaign might get some traction out of Obama consorting with undead cannibals.

Then again, like everyone keeps saying, it’s been a pretty outlandish campaign. 

Post title explained.

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