And Don't Call Me Shirley - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
And Don’t Call Me Shirley
by

Breitbart is reporting the astounding news — astounding to the Hollywoodenheads, at least — that guys are responsible for the enormous decline of movie ticket sales. Studio heads are worried, and for answers they are turning to people such as the OnLine Testing Exchange’s Shelly Zalis. Breitbart’s report quotes her: “Consumers are saying that when they get to the theatre what they see there is as good as it’s ever been…But the rising cost of tickets, gas and babysitters, combined with the improving nature of the in-home media experience are major factors keeping consumers from leaving the living room.”

Spare me. The problem — the uninterrupted stream of liberal nonsense and syrupy chick flicks — is obvious to any male past puberty. Please, Ms. Zalis. Tell them the awful truth. I recall a line spoken by Q to 007 some years ago (I think in “Never Say Never Again”) that went something like, “Oh, it’s good you’re back. Maybe now we’ll have some more gratuitous sex and violence.”

Less Jane, Shirley and Wesley Snipes. More Bruce Willis, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. Harry Callahan, please call your office.

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Gas: 40%+
Beef: 20%+
Used Cars: 20%+
Lodging: 17%
Eggs: 13%

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The Grinch Stole Christmas Sale
Commander-in-chief of Christmas inflation