Feeling a little blue on this Super Tuesday? Not happy with the choices left on your ballot? Cursing the heavens over Fred Thompson’s inability to gain traction? There may be another option yet: Vote Wal-Mart!:
OBAMA, Clinton, McCain, Romney … Wal-Mart? The nation’s largest private employer sure sounds like it’s running for president these days. It’s making sweeping commitments to reduce America’s energy use and improve its health care system. It’s obsessively polling voters, boasting of a higher favorability rating than Congress. It’s even touting an “economic stimulus plan for American shoppers” in the form of steep price cuts made last week. (Four 12-packs of Pepsi? $10.)
That last one may be slightly tongue in cheek – even discount retailers have a sense of humor – but the bigger message is not: after years of running afoul of the United States government on labor and environmental issues, Wal-Mart now aspires to be like the government, bursting through political logjams and offering big-picture solutions to intractable problems.
Be an informed voter as well, though. Make sure someone asks Wal-Mart whether they are actually controlled by Sam Walton’s nefarious re-animated head or plan on invading Vermont. Just to be on the safe side.