Joe Biden

Joe Biden Reportedly Leaked Beau Biden’s Dying Wish Himself

By on 10.6.15 | 12:23PM

You'll nary hear me utter an unkind word about Joe Biden - after all, the man is a silver fox - but the time is drawing close where I'm going to have to adjust how I feel about the man who haunts my dreams with his yellow corvette, his REO Speedwagon, his aviator sunglasses, and his kegs of Natty Lite, since it seems, more and more, like he'll join the race for President.

Joe Biden will likely wait until after the first Democratic Presidential debate, to see how badly Hillary fares and to capitalize on the public's abject terror at having Bernie Sanders, a man who's hairdo is inspired by electroshock victims, as their nominee, but Biden has already floated Elizabeth Warren as Veep, and now it turns out, he's been laying groundwork for his emotional appeal for some time. According to a special report by POLITICO, it was Joe Biden himself who leaked word that his son, Beau Biden's, dying wish was that Joe run for President.

Joe Biden has been making his 2016 deliberations all about his late son since August.

Joe Biden Now Top Presidential Choice for 25% of Dems

By on 9.23.15 | 6:10PM

Joe Biden has finally cracked the ten point mark behind Hillary Clinton, and it's looking increasingly like he's the top choice for most Democrats.

Hillary Clinton has all but disappeared from public view of late, as the State Department and FBI continue their quest to glean every last email from her erstwhile bathroom server and Bernie Sanders has remained trapped in the indie concert circuit, so Joe has had plenty of time to ascend through the ranks. Even though the numbers seem to demonstrate that he's the candidate of "please just someone other than Hillary," his opportunity is looking sharper ever day

Clinton, once the prohibitive front-runner, is now the top choice of 33 percent of registered Democrats and those who lean Democrat, the poll shows. Biden places second with 25 percent and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is at 24 percent…

Joe Biden Courting Obama Bundlers in NYC

By on 9.14.15 | 1:17PM

Joe Biden was in NYC last week, appearing on an inaugural episode of Late Night With Stephen Colbert, where Colbert not-so-subtly asked whether Biden was ready to seek his party's nomination for 2016. Actually, that's putting it mildly. Colbert all but offered up the Late Night platform for Joe Biden to outline the focus of his candidacy and beg for money (though, admittedly, the interview was pretty good).

Biden may have been cagey about his potential Presidential campaign on television, but he was far from elusive with former Obama donors, if rumors of some last-minute "schedule additions" are to be believed. The Veep's trip was a packed 28 hours - enough to talk to Colbert, and appear at rallies with Attorney General Loretta Lynch and Governor Andrew Cuomo, and deliver the official remarks at Ground Zero in honor of September 11th -but he reportedly made room to meet with Robert Wolf, CEO of UBS Americas and a big-time Obama bundler in both of Obama's election cycles.

Biden Beats Bernie (and Clinton) in New National Poll

By on 9.8.15 | 2:42PM

Joe Biden joined union bigwigs this weekend at Labor Day events, trying to show how connected he is to the "working Americans" that make up the very fabric of our proud nation. Armed with his trademark aviator sunglasses, Joe spoke about the "glory days" when men were men, women were women, and REO Speedwagon was still making gold records.

The schtick, though, seems to be working. As Bernie Sanders struggles to fire up anyone who understands basic economics, and Hillary Clinton struggles to fire up, frankly, anyone, Joe Biden, who isn't even officially in the race, has been surging to the tops of polls, making his first appearance this week as the national Democratic challenger to the Clinton throne.

Joe Biden is up and Hillary Clinton is down in a new Monmouth University national poll of Democrats and Democratic-leaning voters.

The White House Wants You To Know That Joe Biden Is Really Fantastic

By on 8.25.15 | 2:02PM

A pall has passed over Facebook. Hillary's most dedicated supporters are so depressed, giant tears dripping down their embroidered sweatshirts, collecing into pools on the floorboards of their minivans, coloring their endless Facebook wall posts about their precious soccer-playing children with the kind of "blue" tinge they normally reserve for disappointing Grey's Anatomy episodes. The White House has endorsed Joe Biden. 

As Hillary Clinton flails around, desperate to overcome her email scandal, the White House has all but abandoned her in the water. Yesterday, they claimed that choosing Joe Biden over Hillary for Obama's Vice President was a fantastic political decision - perhaps one of Obama's best. Today, they're papering social media with full-throated praise for America's least influential Vice President (unless you consider his impact on Journey's resurgence). According to the Obama Administration, Joe Biden has everything you need to be a President: attitude, aptitude and good looks to boot.

Joe Biden’s Friends Fear Joe Biden Will Lose Joe Biden-ness As President

By on 8.5.15 | 6:34PM

Joe Biden is well known for many things, but his illustrious legacy of statesmanship is not first among the achievements that come to mind.

Yet, as Joe prepares to join the Democratic race for the 2016 nomination, his friends are warning him that taking on the nation's highest office could irreparably tarnish Joe Biden's otherwise spotless record. He's been such an effective partner for Barack Obama that they simply cannot imagine what Joe Biden would be like absent one half of the Dynamic Duo. And with a bitter fight likely on the horizon, they don't want to risk him losing - or, for that matter, the Democratic party losing.

Biden Steals Baby’s Pacifier Because Of Course He Did

By on 4.10.15 | 12:25PM

With the Hillary Clinton announcement looming, it's almost as though a personal dream is dying. Obviously, when the woman who is owed at least Quixotic shot at the Presidency, having been bested by a first-term Senator from a flyover state only a few short years ago, enters the race, the man, the myth and the legend, Mr. Joe Biden, will likely have to bow out.

This is disappointing on so many levels. First, the bumper sticker that reads "I'm Ridin' With Biden" that I bought from the Draft Biden campaign will now look more like a relic of a bygone era. Second, Joe Biden will never get to buy that campaign Corvette Z06 that he's been looking forward to since he first got into this game. And third, we're going to miss so many fantastic political moments, like that time Joe Biden took a pacifier from a former NYC mayor's grandson and sucked it in his face. 

Biden Remembers Ted Kennedy — And the Senate Locker Room

By on 3.30.15 | 5:08PM

The Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the U.S. Senate opens today in Boston, and the ribbon cutting, which featured a line of VIPs and high-profile speakers, has lent itself to a wealth of unintentionally hilarious Ted Kennedy tributes. 

First, President Obama, who opened the Center, took a moment to consider a world where we were all more like Ted Kennedy: a world where, I suppose, we all conducted ourselves with blatant disregard for the human beings around us, as we failed repeatedly to bridge any sort of partisan divide, pursuing our own dogged commitment to amassing influence and tolerating large quantities of alcohol. 

And then, Vice President Joe Biden, who, like many people, recalled that the erstwhile Senator was Virgil-like guide into the deeper, darker areas of Senate life.

Like, the naked ones.

Yesterday, Joe Biden Insulted Ireland

By on 3.18.15 | 1:40PM

For those of you thinking that the Obama Administration's general Mean Girl-ish-ness over the Israeli election results (AND NONE FOR BIBI NETANYAHU) is the most egregious failure of our foreign policy this week, consider that we dispatched Joe Biden, our Vice President, one heartbeat away from the Presidency, to welcome the Irish Prime Minister and his wife to Washington in a joint celebration of St. Patrick's Day.

You may be asking, how, exactly, does one mess up a St. Patrick's Day celebration with actual Irish people? Sure, the tradition of wearing green tutus and drinking until passed out in a gutter is a uniquely American tradition, but that's a small defect in the otherwise incredibly close relationship between Ireland and a nation built by many of its expatriates. The answer to the question, though, is, of course, introducing Joe Biden.

Joe Biden Moves In On New SecDef’s Lady

By on 2.17.15 | 3:31PM

How can we expect newly minted Secretary of Defense Ash Carter to defend our nation and its freedoms from the incursion of catastrophic elements if he can't even defend his own wife's earlobe from sweet nothings whispered by Vice President Joe Biden?

Apparently, when you're a Cabinet Secretary's wife, you get a free back rub with every swearing in.

If she plays her cards right, I bet he'll take her for a spin in his Trans Am later. They can listen to REO Speedwagon under the stars.