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Ben Stein's Diary
Plugging Away
A reminder of the summer just past. From our September issue.
MONDAY
IT’S SUMMER. Wifey and I are up at Lake Pend Oreille in Sandpoint,
Idaho, Bonner County. We are in our condo and we’re both ill.
Wifey got back about two weeks ago from a trip to Durban, South Africa, for our son’s Hindu wedding. Of course, he had already been married in a civil elopement ceremony in the Beverly Hills courthouse several months ago. Of course, going to South Africa for this kind of show and tell is expensive on a scale I cannot even slightly afford. Never mind. They went. Wifey’s been extremely ill since she got to South Africa — not just since she returned. In fact, she was ill before she even got on the plane. In fact, now that I think about it, she’s almost always ill. I am not happy about it. She’s Big Wifey and there is no one like her. There cannot be any replacements. I worry that she’s so ill so often. Accept no substitutes for Big Wifey, mostly because of her wit.
Just for example, many years ago, when we were taking the dogs for a walk near our home in Beverly Hills, we saw a mail woman picking up the mail at our corner post box. The pickup time noted on the box is 11 a.m. The postal woman was picking up the mail at about 2 p.m. “Ahh,” said Wifey calmly, “right on time.”
Maybe you had to be there. Anyway, now that I think about it, Wifey is definitely (possibly) a bit better. This makes me a bit relieved.
I have had a flu off and on for a few weeks. Now, I feel better. But I am bound to say this has been about as difficult a year as I have ever had: many, many bouts of lung issues, many bronchitis episodes (but I have not missed one speech — I feel great when I am speaking and mingling), economic worries, loss of the government to people I do not trust. (I consider Mr. Obama to be like Maggie Thatcher compared to Nancy Pelosi. I can remember her father when he was mayor of Baltimore long ago. Tommy D’Alessandro, if memory serves. A real big-city Democrat of the old school. What he was to the old ways, she is to socialism.) Anyway, there have been some difficult days. In a way, socialism is a lot like old-time big-city bosses: government takes your money and controls your life. As my genius cousin Jeffrey used to say, “They take their half out of the middle.”
But we are not in a big city. We are up in Sandpoint, Idaho. Weather perfect although warm. Lots of friendly people. My great little Thompson boat with its pastel blue-green upholstery, like a Beach Boys boat. I am happy to be here. The kids come up to me for autographs. I love that. The girls giggle and want their picture taken with me. Everyone who drives by waves at me. Contrast that with Beverly Hills, where no one even says “hello” when you walk past. Or Malibu, which I love beyond words, but it really lacks friendly people except for Cruz, my pal at Howe’s Market, and Dusty Peak, my electrician pal.
True, people are super friendly at Morningside and Mission Hills, the two clubs where I belong in Rancho Mirage. That’s because they are mostly Midwestern folks who are not imbued with that mean Brooklyn-Tehran fearfulness. Also, at the Watergate, my neighbors are friendly, albeit extremely elderly by and large. My favorite neighbors by far are Mrs. Long, widow of Russell Long and longtime pal of my late mother, and Prof. and Prof. Kristol, real seriously polite, refined people of the old school. This time, the old good school. They are super smart people. Irving and Bea. Smart, good-natured, great.
Like many of the people at the Watergate, I would call them “refined.”
For some reason this reminds me of a hotel that used to be on 14th Street NW in Washington. I believe it was called the Tunlaw. It had a big sign in front that read “For Refined Colored Adults.” Even then I winced at that sign, and that was a long time ago. Now there are hardly any refined adults of any race. Except at the Watergate, Rancho Mirage, and northern Idaho.
Anyway, how dare I complain? My bud Sgt. John Quinones is in some ungodly forward operating base in Iraq. He gets rocketed and mortared day after day and never complains. He’s in 120-degree heat with terrorists, spiders, and bad food, and he just keeps on keepin’ on. He is my hero.
Really, the whole nation rests on the broad and fearless shoulders of our military. Let’s pray for them all day long.
So, back to the top, I am here in Sandpoint with Big Wifey. We have been up to Hill’s, over to Bottle Bay, and we are well fed. There is construction going on next door, but we don’t hear it too badly. There is a huge highway bypass being built nearby but so far we don’t hear that either. So, we are happy except for illness, recession, and a vast armada of “no-see-ums” — which are tiny bugs that drive us mad. They attack us everywhere at night and we cannot go out on our deck because of them. Never mind that. There are so many good restaurants up here, it’s amazing. Right next door at the Edgewater, there is a wonderful place called Trinity — scrumptiously great. Then there’s Ivano’s, also great, and Bottle Bay, also great, and we have more good restaurants here than in Beverly Hills.
So, enough whining. I marvel at all of the great things I have: FREEDOM, Wifey, son, daughter-in-law (the most beautiful woman on earth), dogs (to me, more beautiful than any human), sister, a saint, real estate, Cadillacs, FREEDOM, no Storm Troopers running after me shouting “Jude, Raus!” Idaho, Malibu, Beverly Hills, D.C., FREEDOM. What can I ever do to thank God enough?
Actually, one thing I do is employ a lot of otherwise unemployable persons to help me file, and that keeps them alive, and keeps their kids alive. My favorite is Lizzie, daughter of my dear, dear artist pal, Jane. This kid is a little angel. Lovely, sweet, kind-hearted. I wish I were in high school and she sat next to me in European History class and I carried her books home before I went to my home and went to my real gf, Brigid, the German shorthaired pointer.
Well, I must go pray now. How did we ever get so blessed? And all resting on the military and their families. God bless America.
About the Author
Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu. He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.
Letter to the Editor View all comments (41) | Leave a comment
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CaelR| 9.12.09 @ 6:31AM
Good thing that you’ve been enjoying your life Ben. As mush as I want the lifestyle you are enjoying I’m afraid all I can do is work and make an income for my family needs. But I’m so delightful that you’ve shared us your experience and it made me wonder when can my family and I enjoy such wonderful trip. Anyway in relation to your article title “Plugging Away”, there is this such ban that is started in Europe and now the US and Canada will follow it – it is light bulb bans. Silly but true! However, there may be something to it. Right now, the EU is instituting light bulb bans, wherein incandescent bulbs are now forbidden, and people can only buy fluorescent bulbs, or CFL bulbs, or LED light bulbs. CFL bulbs put out the same light with 80% less energy, but are trickier to dispose of (they contain mercury) and are more expensive to manufacture. Your average CFL bulb goes for about $15, and the average LED bulb is about $100. Just imagining the expenses makes me think of additional income just to provide a good lighting source in our house. What a life!
jeannie Hoyle| 9.25.09 @ 10:32AM
I cleaned your condo through sandpoint vacation rentals for a company called absolute cleanning ...and I remember brad telling michelle that you commented that all her girls muct be on crack ...that made me laugh but yes absolute cleanning is a low budget cleanning company whos girls dont get paid enough to even clean an out house... I QUIT!!! last week because of all of the games and drama ...if i were you i would hire a different cleanning company , because absolute cleanning is falling apart ...their employees are like monkeys working for $9 an hour while breaking their back along the way ...it is sad . but anyways nice condo and i enjoyed cleanning it for you ...not for the company...welcome to sandpoint , it truley is a beautiful retreat.
Robert| 9.12.09 @ 6:48AM
Thank you Mr Stein very entertaining piece and funny too. This not a rhetorical question. Is there any part of our lives that the government already does not have a controlling law or regulation. I live in a semi rural part of Florida and everywhere you look the government is there. I like the idea of feeling safe protected by the county sheriffs and fire department. This is what goverments should be doing. I too have a boat and enjoy going out one or two days a week. The only drawback is that the federal government has a rule that dogs are not allowed in National Forests and the lakes within. We have two Cairn Terriers that are also part of our family. It would be great to take them boating with us. But alas we all know that according to the government they would destoy the 100,000 acre National Forest in one day. Your article was great but it reminded me that some politician somewhere has taken every common sense issue and made a law regulating that activity. Today I just want to goverment "Leave us alone"
Michael L. Hauschild| 9.12.09 @ 9:07AM
Mr. Stein,
What you should have brought home with you is a little more of the South African (and Hindu) penchant for inevitability. "Chicken Soup" is a common adjective for "season." You will smile, you will eat noodles, you and "Big Wifey" will recover.
TennesseeVolunteer| 9.12.09 @ 10:55AM
Ben, you are a cool breeze on a hot day!
It's 9-12, what will we do today to make a difference?
Tim| 9.23.09 @ 4:10PM
"But there is a deeper fallacy besides this obvious fact; that men need not live for food merely because they cannot live without food. The truth is that the thing most present to the mind of man is not the economic machinery necessary to his existence; but rather that existence itself; the world which he sees when he wakes every morning and the nature of his general position in it. There is something that is nearer to him than livelihood, and that is life. For once that he remembers exactly what work produces his wages and exactly what wages produce his meals, he reflects ten times that it is a fine day or it is a queer world, or wonders whether life is worth living, or wonders whether marriage is a failure, or is pleased and puzzled with his own children, or remembers his own youth, or in any such fashion vaguely reviews the mysterious lot of man. "
Mr. Stein, a wealthy man, embodies what Chesterton wrote about.
http://www.worldinvisible.com/.....art1c7.htm
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Beverly Hills Homes for Sale Beverly Hills Real Estate - The American Spectator : Plu links to this page. Here’s an excerpt:
SEagan| 9.23.09 @ 9:36PM
gores green earth...lol. enjoy the life the Lord has blessed you with Mr.Stein.
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Margie| 9.24.09 @ 12:26PM
Dear Ben,
I believe the bugs you refer to that are biting you at night are bed bugs. They are rampant these days especially in hotels and the like. Do a Google search. They only come out to bite at night. They will jump into your suitcases and come home with you, where you won't be able to be rid of them. Sorry to be saying this if you already know it, but I just had to warn you in case you didn't know. ("Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it." Prov. 3:27).
My best wishes and prayers for you and your Wife,
Margie
Dan Young | 9.24.09 @ 7:01PM
Hi Ben ... I'll bring you chicken soup, an autographed Marty Becker book, and an SHS Bulldog Sweatshirt if you'll do some PSA's for the Idaho Meth Project with me sometime between now and January...Bashful Dan :)
Bill| 10.5.09 @ 1:56AM
Ben,
We love you so much! Your column is like a letter from an old friend and brings a smile.
What, no pictures?
Dittos on Pelosi/ Obama. He never fooled me either. Regime change needed. I saw Nicaragua devolve back to an oppressive socialism under Ortega the last 3 years and I'm having the same creepy feeling here now. The behavior and tone is the same, unmistakable.
I'm from Oregon originally, now North Carolina. Idaho is beautiful. You are blessed, please stay that way because we need all the Ben Steins we can get.
Going John Galt
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