I am sure the Democrat-controlled House has passed several bills and resolutions, maybe even some that matter, maybe even some that we conservatives would endorse. The thing is, most of us average American lugs do not live in Washington, D.C. We do not sit all day in the House of Representatives or attend legislative meetings, marveling at all the legislative hours of “hard work.” We do not watch day-long C-SPAN coverage of the House. Rather, we go about our lives.
Most of us lugs follow the main top news stories of the day: two or three aggravating things emanating from D.C., one or two world stories where a Tyrannical Purgatory is threatening regional or world peace, and maybe a story or two about some homegrown maniac murdering people. Indeed, the people who least know what is happening in the world know the details of those other stories the best: the Hillside Strangler, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck, Son of Sam, O.J. and Nicole, Jeffrey Dahmer, AOC, John Wayne Gacy, Monica Lewinsky, vacationing in the Dominican Republic, Mary Jo Kopechne. Few know about House Bill 1234 or 4321. We know that Trump colluded with Putin, or used to collude with Putin until Mueller or Muller or Miller decided that he never colluded with Putin. But they still sent a SWAT team and a CNN crew to pull some 70-year-old guy named Stone out of bed in the middle of the night. So maybe Trump did this or tweeted that. Or maybe he didn’t. And now they want my grandmother from Poland or Italy and my grandfather from Ireland whose grandfather or whatever died when he was drafted in Boston or New York by Lincoln to fight slavery in the Civil War to pay reparations to LeBron James, Al Sharpton, Beyoncé, and Barack Obama.
We figure, regardless of our personal politics, that the Clintons definitely were crooks at the felon level, but we pretty-much realize there is two-tier justice in America, one standard for Clintons and another for Trump; one for Liberals in Hollywood who do not harass women and another for those who do. We know that Indians, or whatever Elizabeth Warren wants to be called, got the shaft a few centuries ago, but we gave them casinos, so both sides smoked a peace pipe and called it even. And we know that Africans got the shaft half a millennium ago — shafted by their own people in Africa who sold them into slavery and bondage for rum, so now should be paying reparations from that rum money with 500 years of interest compounded quarterly, and then the Africans got shafted when they got here. We know that, somewheres around fifty years ago, the Great Society decided to make amends somehow by changing rules so that fairness would balance out by giving the shaft to everyone else. So we paid increased taxes to provide welfare like crazy, food stamps, paying even more money each time the mother had another kid, and even more money if the father abandoned the family — and we topped it off with racial quotas that we called “Affirmative Action” (because we like gentle aphorisms — e.g., “pro-choice” instead of “suctioning the limbs off a life,” or “Affordable Care Act” instead of “Mandating That Men Pay for Pre-Natal Health Coverage In Case They Get Pregnant”).
We lugs don’t trust anyone in Washington, and we have kind-of figured out finally that the system is too unwieldy, too corrupteverto fix. The Swamp, we now know, cannot be drained because it is not a marsh or everglade but an ocean of sludge filled with plastic straws, unrecyclable paper, Strzok-Page love notes, and 33,000 bleached messages about yoga and wedding dresses. The System betrays all. Half of us vote for a liberal like Clinton, only to be presented with an end to Welfare, a tough crime bill, and a dry-cleaning bill for a dress stain. At least he delivered Midnight Basketball. The other half of us, deep-rooted patriotic conservatives, vote for Republicans and end up with Justices like David Souter and Harry Blackmun, with wage and price controls, and with international “free-trade” agreements that all-but-destroy our steel and aluminum industries, while decimating our manufacturing. We elect Liberals who run on peace agendas, like Woodrow Wilson (“He Kept Us Out of War”) or JFK/LBJ who swear they will not allow a Goldwater to embroil us in military catastrophe, and we end up with our boys dying overseas in huge numbers in Vietnam. Or the other half of us go with our more conservative “America First” approach, and we end up with reckless adventurism aiming for regime change in the Arab Muslim world, based on the delusion that there beats in the heart-and-soul of every resident of Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria a passion to actualize the writings of Rousseau, Locke, and Thoreau.
We watch our borders overrun brazenly, shamelessly. No control, with millions teeming to enter illegally, lecturing us: “We have a right to be here!” They could lecture us “Yankee Go Home!” but we cannot send them back? They don’t speak a word of English except the one sentence they have been taught by American Leftist activists to memorize: “I claim asylum because of well-founded fear of persecution based on my ethnicity, race, and religion. Para todas las demás preguntas, marque 2 por Español.” (For all other questions, dial 2 por Español.) We see the Democrats swear for decades to guard the border, build a wall, and protect the endangered lower economic class and African Americans from a swarm of cheap labor, until the Democrats figure out that the lower economic class and African Americans are in their pockets anyway, while the New Illegals actually turn Republican strongholds into Democrat states. So we turn to Republicans, who promise to fix the border. Next thing you know, the capitalist big business “Chambers of Commerce” are in cahoots with the Left, importing the same Illegals for cheap labor. We turn to Reagan for some conservative rugged patriotism and firm strength, and he grants universal amnesty to Illegals. Then Bush-the-First promises to be even kinder and gentler. Then Bush-the-Next decides that, since he has Spanish-speaking relatives who can pronounce “nookyuluh” as well as he can, we may as well let the Illegals keep coming in because, unknown to the Liberals, the Illegals all are small-business owners and all are devout Hispanic Catholics who are pro-life and anti-abortion like the Pope, pro-family, conservative Republicans at heart. And then Bush!-the-Last comes in, with Ana Navarro as his political advisor, telling us that we don’t want to keep the millions out because we are “better than that.”
So we elect Trump, who promises to deport 10 million Illegals, and we give him a Republican House and a Republican Senate, and we oust John Boehner for a new young dynamic GOP House Speaker who was the Vice Presidential nominee and conservative conscience of the losing Romney campaign, and that guy turns out to be Whatever. He gets his one “Budget Reconciliation” chance in a two-year legislative term to pass a budget that will build a border wall because that is the one bill every two years that does not require a filibuster-proof 60-vote Senate vote for passage, so it’s a piece of cake. And he “pulls a Bill Buckner” (rest his soul) and leaves it out. So even though the President proves to be a once-in-a-generation Transformational President who brashly eliminates swaths of economy-strangling regulations, who dramatically renegotiates one after another terrible international trade treaty, who fearlessly pulls out of cockamamie international fiascoes like the Iran Deal and the Paris Climate Nonsense, who moves the American embassy in Israel to Jerusalem and recognizes United Jerusalem as Israel’s eternal capital and Israeli sovereignty over the Golan, who directs laser-focused attention at the border crisis and tries one-after-another-after-another stratagem to deal with the morass, who waves a magic wand and resurrects a Dead Economy with bold tax cuts and even more determined deregulating and converts it into a blazing-hot engine, who reduces African-American, Hispanic-American, Asian-American, and female unemployment to historic lows, who changes the face of the Supreme Court and nominates more than one hundred solid conservative federal district and appellate judges, who reimagines America’s energy-producing capabilities and converts America into a net exporter of energy and the world’s largest energy producer, who recalibrates the Veterans Administration and V.A. health care, who forces through a “Right to Try” initiative that allows Americans with perilous ailments access to cutting-edge medical research possibilities — despite all that, and so much more, the GOP House not only drops the ball but butt-fumbles.
No solutions or meaningful fixes to medical coverage, health care, and the mess exacerbated many times over by Obamacare. No solutions to the Southern Border national emergency. No groundbreaking ground-breaking infrastructure legislation. And so the American voters throw the bums out in 2018.
The Left Democrat districts were going to vote Democrat no matter what. The conservative Republican districts were going to vote GOP no matter what. But in 2018, Democrats targeted more moderate, though conservative-leaning swing districts, and they campaigned on promises. We will do it. We will fix health care. We will find a fix for the border. We will rebuild the infrastructure. The message and that promise won the day. The same moderate, conservative-leaning swing districts that repeatedly had given the Republicans control of the House for much of the past two decades switched over for a better way. They were promised an end to the old Obama-era shenanigans. No more Democrats Gone Wild. No more Nancy Pelosi as Speaker.
It may well be that today’s House Democrats have been advancing the most exciting legislative agenda in American history, fixing more problems than ever imagined. But here is what Congress looks like to us lugs outside their bubble:
2. Open Borders.
Investigations. Every single day’s news is dominated, day after day, week after week, month after month by investigations of the President, subpoenas to his executive branch, his friends and associates, his family. Investigations that go from Michael “Cash Cab” Cohen as the very first sworn witness of the Congressional term to Mueller to John Dean, who masterminded Watergate. It’s like swearing-in Harvey Weinstein to testify about Bill Clinton. And never-ending daily discussions of: FISA warrants. Redactions. Grand jury transcripts. Hold the Attorney-General in contempt. Hold the Secretary of the Treasury in contempt. Hold the Secretary of Commerce in contempt. Demand the President’s taxes. Subpoenas and litigation for his taxes.
Open borders. Racing to California-Hawaii-Washington-Oregon so that one single Obama lifetime ally in one discrete judicial district in one room in one nook of San Francisco where climate-altering air conditioning can filter out from one courtroom the stench of the sidewalk feces and urine of The Homeless just outside, can issue anationwideinjunction imposing whatever the ACLU or the Democrats propose that one Obama Judge impose on 300 million unsupposing Americans, thus tying up one Presidential initiative after another. Each injunction begins to age not like a fine wine but like a rancid vinegar, awaiting its slowly trickling journey through the appellate circuit, typically the Obama Ninth, until itperhapswill see its day of adjudication at the Supreme Court someday, but only if the justices grantcertiorarifor the appeal to be heard. Meanwhile, the Sanctuary Cities and their Brazen Mayors defy the law of the land, even as their Sanctuary Gothams teem with tens of thousands of Homeless whom they cannot afford to clothe or shelter or even protect from rats and typhus outbreaks, amid the shooting galleries (heroin, bullets) in Sanctuaries like Chicago and Baltimore. Record numbers to our South flock to our border and brazenly cross in, sometimes haplessly swimming across in a lake until our Coast Guard saves them from drowning, sometimes climbing over walls or contending with barbed wire, often first renting a child en route so they can claim “Family” and the “Flores Decree” — all in the desperate hope that, instead of being turned back whence they came, they will be permitted by our compassionate border guards to find food, shelter, medical care, and safety in one of our facilities that a former bartender cum laude with studies in international affairs, economics, and mixology calls “concentration camps.”
Climate. Green New Deal. The world to end in twelve years if we do not outlaw meat, plastic straws and bags, raise taxes by the trillions to retrofit every building in America. Presumably require that all cattle be force-fed tablets of Tums or spoonsful of Mylanta to control their flatulence and breaking bad. End reliance not only on coal but also on oil and even on clean natural gas. Rather, more solar energy like the advances charted by Solyndra. More windmills. Perhaps generating the power needed to air condition the Cannon, Longworth, and Rayburn House Office Buildings by having teams of hamsters generate energy by running on wheels throughout D.C.
And always back to Impeachment. Every day another call by the Left Media and their Democrat patrons for impeachment.
When November 2020 rolls around, the defrauded, cheated “Swing Voters” will be situated to say:
“You promised health care, a fix to the border crisis, and infrastructure. You played us for chumps. All you gave us were Investigations, Climate, Open Borders, and Impeachment. We were sick of Republican lies, so we threw those bums out. Now we are sick of you once again, so we are throwing you out.”
It turns out they may be the ones doing the Impeaching.