In a few weeks, autumn will begin. You know, that time when leaves, your hair, and just about everything falls. Apples, cider, and red-brown foliage. It’s time to say goodbye to summer and to these satirical summer columns with which…
My favorite beach has been invaded by Portuguese men o’ war. Not soldiers, but some kind of jellyfish that are not actually jellyfish. I would prefer if it were an invasion of soldiers — at least you drown them in…
As environmentalists keep pestering them with the excuse of saving the planet, marine animals are getting more and more fed up with humans, which makes stings and bites on the beaches more and more frequent. The sun is also in…
I don’t know why we take the car to be fixed if it’s always broken anyway. It obviously doesn’t work: It doesn’t fly, it doesn’t float, and rolling is a simple thing that troglodyte cars did many centuries ago. There…
Prehistoric man started his development by learning to hunt. His next challenge was to try to get on an inflatable unicorn in the pool. Man’s repeated failure in the struggle with the unicorn changed human evolution and led to the…
When I was a kid, the biggest beach towel was the size of a matchbox, and it was decorated with the faded 80s logo of some soft drink. It was also the thickness of a shrimp’s antenna, and its main…
Wrinkles. On the forehead. Hey, it’s true. Real wrinkles, laughing at me, defiant. I found them by chance and I was overcome by a hysterical drama similar to James Stewart’s when he looks over the abyss of the bridge in…
Summer does not exist without a boat. Those who go to the mountains think they are on summer vacation, but they are actually just extending a very long Christmas vacation. Summer requires sun, sea, beach, and boat. Ideally, you would…
The Sun is a giant star, with a diameter of 1.4 million kilometers, filled with hot gasses that environmentalists most probably, seeing as they are not caused by capitalism, couldn’t care less about. The sun burns away with a surface…
