Sitting Shiva for Hillary and Her Permanent Mourners
by

When a person dies of disease or old age, it’s obviously horrific for family and friends. But, for the most part, they did know that it was coming, and hopefully they were able to prepare themselves a little bit for their future loss. Now, when someone dies unexpectedly, there is probably nothing harder for a loved one to come to grips with. Many are in denial and can’t accept the terrible hand that they have been dealt. Why them, they ask? You will often hear people say that there were so many others who actually deserved this tragic outcome. Many are in such denial that they still believe their loved one is either not dead or maybe will come back to them. It was all a bad mistake.

My fellow Americans on the left, I get it. You weren’t prepared for the untimely death of the Clinton legacy. You were told your candidate was going to win and not just win but win handily. You had no time to prepare for your loss, like we Republicans have had to do all too often. Some of you are still grieving the untimely passing; some of you are still in shock, and a few of you may actually have accepted it. But many, and I mean many of you, remain in absolute denial to the point that I’m actually worried about you. I’m not saying this sarcastically. I’m really worried about you. Now, I know this worry would not go both ways, but I don’t have the hate in me that has darkened so many of your souls.

Now, maybe it’s a God thing or a power greater than yourself thing that separates the two sides. How can you turn something over, when there is no one to turn it over to? Now obviously I’m not referring to all on the left. There are plenty who believe in something greater by whatever name they wish to call this power. They are the ones in acceptance, who have actually enjoyed their turkey. But scarily, there are many right now who can’t and won’t accept the death and loss of their beloved. Now, me, being the universe fearing man that I am, I have decided to offer you some help, because, in the very natural order of things, it is clear as day that you need it.

In Judaism, we have a practice called Shiva. For seven days after the burial, the family mourns. The televisions and mirrors are covered, the family doesn’t shower, the women wear no makeup, and food is brought in by neighbors and friends. Men recite the mourner’s prayer three times a day. It is quite the process. When coming in to give condolences to the loved one, it is customary for the mourner to talk to you first. They usually bring up some loving or fun story about the deceased. You, then, offer some words of comfort, give official condolences in Hebrew to them, and then walk away. After seven days, the family gets up and tries to move on. I guess the theory is everything that needed to be said was said. It is supposedly an extremely cathartic experience, one that I hope will soothe and ease your pain, which I know is killing you right now.

We know that many of you on the left have nothing but time on your hands, since you are occupied with protesting and incessant postings. You apparently have a few extra dollars in your hands, which you have donated for a recount. You are still in denial, wishing that your candidate would somehow miraculously come back from the dead. So my suggestion to you is: Sit, stand, scream, do whatever you need to do for the next seven days. It’s Shiva time. Set up a Facebook community, if needed. Call it the mourner’s page, the Shiva page, call it whatever you want. You are the creative ones. Find the best picture of Hillary, and tell all those loving stories about your beloved. Each of you should share a loving ditty, which, of course, will be so easy for you to do. Now, I’ve got to tell you, this might prove really interesting to me but should be very helpful to you.

I know it won’t be hard to find amazing stories of kindness and generosity that Hillary exemplified. But in case you get stuck, here are a few of my favorites. You can share about the time that she brought hot sauce into a radio interview with black hosts. Funny old broad. You can share about, how, whatever town she was in, she had the uncanny ability to pick up the local accent. How about the time she blamed a YouTube video for the Benghazi attack? Silly woman. A YouTube video, she probably didn’t even know what YouTube was. There was the time she claimed that she was under sniper attack in Bosnia. Why couldn’t she have used that imagination in the election? That night, she stuck it to 40 million Americans and called them deplorable. The funny loving stories are endless. Oh, her treatment of women should really be helpful for the feminist in pain. But this is your Shiva, not mine.

I really hope that you take my suggestion, and I will do anything I can to help you in your time of grief. If you need to do this privately, feel free to tweet me @judahmfriedman or comment underneath. I know many people here would be willing to listen to your pain and embrace you lovingly and kindly. No one should have to go through the shocking loss of a loved one as you seem to be doing right now and, moreover, have to do it by yourself. You can scream, yell, or even call us names. Do whatever you need to do to get past this. I just pray this will help you get through the denial and finally gain the acceptance of knowing that dead is dead.

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