Shave It Off, Girl, Or You’re Not Really Woke - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Shave It Off, Girl, Or You’re Not Really Woke
Unity kneeling (YouTube screenshot)

One of the more bizarre manifestations of our new American Münster Rebellion has been the sudden new fad in which “woke” white people are now finding ways to prostrate and humiliate themselves as signals of both guilt and obeisance to the Black Lives Matter movement.

You’ve probably seen some of this. There are YouTube videos of white people kneeling in front of black protesters, purportedly to apologize for slavery or racism, or something, and now it’s an organized thing:

A powerful moment outside Nebraska Medicine as hundreds of health care workers kneel for a moment of silence.

This is all part of the movement “White Coats for Black Lives.”

Kneeling in solidarity and in silence. Some holding signs, others with their fists in the air, but all sharing one message.

“Hopefully this is just the start of us continuing to make Omaha better,” said participant, Helen Grace, D.O.

White Coats for Black Lives is a national movement by medical professionals to support Black Lives Matter.

“That we recognize that racism is systemic and in order to change, you really need change to come from everyone in the community. We can’t put this on people of color to make that change,” said Grace.

There’s the now-famous trolling video in which someone pretending to be with Black Lives Matter records himself demanding that a young white woman kneel and apologize for her white privilege, which she dutifully does.

The video is a prank and a real-life satire of the idiocy and emptiness of the “woke” white liberal, whose self-respect is so vacant that he or she can be made to kneel on a sidewalk and apologize by a total stranger who quite obviously is making fun of his willing victims.

Frankly, with the sickeningly humiliating and insulting bits of virtue-signaling so many woke white liberals are engaging in, why shouldn’t we expect woke white women to shave their heads to show support for Black Lives Matter?

Which is where we are at present, because so many white people in America today are so afraid of being labeled as racist that they will go to insane lengths to avoid that fate. Especially in the wake of the George Floyd fiasco, in which a bad white Minneapolis cop committed a criminal act in kneeling on Floyd’s neck until he was dying while an Asian cop watched and did nothing, and a black and Hispanic cop left the scene with at least a reasonable expectation Floyd’s life was in danger. All four have been fired and charged, which would seem to be a crystal-clear indication the judicial system is working. Minnesota’s black Muslim attorney general, a proponent of both Black Lives Matter and Antifa, will be supervising the prosecution of the Floyd case.

Somehow, this has engendered an “organic” expression of outrage and protest across the country, and somehow, it’s now required that all white people wear the proverbial hair shirt and seek to “understand” the struggles of black people across America.

What happened to Drew Brees, who found himself torn to shreds last week over giving an answer to a reporter’s question on NFL racial protesting to the effect that he didn’t like to see disrespect of a flag his grandparents fought for in World War II, was a perfect example. Brees wasn’t just ripped apart on social media by celebrities, athletes, pundits and ordinary losers alike; he and his family were subjected to death threats. By the weekend, Brees’ wife Brittany made an Instagram post that on the surface was as subservient and humiliating as anything on those YouTube videos but was loaded with hidden meaning in a way reminiscent of Admiral Jeremiah Denton’s famous Morse code blinking as a Vietnam POW.

There’s no Morse code in this one, but you don’t need it:

“I write this with tears in my eyes and I hope you all hear our hearts,” Brittany Brees wrote. “I have read these quotes and scripture 1000 times and every time I read it and the words sink into my heart. I think yes this is what it’s all about … Only until the last few days, until we experienced the death threats we experienced the hate … Did I realize that these words were speaking directly to us … how could anyone who knows us or has had interactions with us think that Drew or I have a racist bone in our body? But that’s the whole point. Somehow we as white America, we can feel good about not being racist, feel good about loving one another as God loves us.

“We can feel good about educating our children about the horrors of slavery and history. We can read books to our children about Martin Luther King, Malcolm X., Hank Aaron, Barack Obama, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman … and feel like we are doing our part to raise our children to love, be unbiased and with no prejudice,” Brittany Brees continued. “To teach them about all of the African Americans that have fought for and risked their lives against racial injustice. Somehow as white Americans we feel like that checks the box of doing the right thing. Not until this week did Drew and I realize THAT THIS IS THE PROBLEM. To say ‘I don’t agree with disrespecting the flag’ … I now understand was also saying I don’t understand what the problem really is, I don’t understand what you’re fighting for, and I’m not willing to hear you because of our preconceived notions of what that flag means to us.”

She continued: “That’s the problem we are not listening, white America is not hearing. We’re not actively LOOKING for racial prejudice. We have heard stories from men and women we have known and loved for years about the racism that occurred in their lives … stories that were never shared or talked about because somehow they were considered normal. To all of our friends and anyone we hurt … we will do better … We want to do better, we want to HEAR you, and we will fight for you because thinking we are not part of the problem … is checking the box it means we are not doing enough. It’s our job to educate ourselves. We are sorry.”

This is intended to make its viewers see it as a sincere apology. But it’s a little over the top for that, and a tight reading of it spells out something pretty similar to Denton’s message: T-O-R-T-U-R-E.

Drew Brees a little more than two months ago donated $5 million to help feed underprivileged, mostly black folks in Louisiana, and yet he and his wife caught death threats because he said he didn’t want to kneel.

Given that level of absurdity, in which the Los Angeles Times is posting articles telling white people that giving money to black friends and strangers on CashApp is not exactly serving the cause of racial equality, there is suddenly nothing absurd about the hashtag “#gobaldforBLM,” which trended on Twitter over the weekend.

It originated as a 4chan troll, as so many of the best pranks often do, and so far it isn’t a real thing.

But why shouldn’t it be?

Frankly, with the sickeningly humiliating and insulting bits of virtue-signaling so many woke white liberals are engaging in, why shouldn’t we expect woke white women to shave their heads to show support for Black Lives Matter?

So what if the trolls at 4chan originally came up with it? It’s far more permanent than kneeling, and it makes a far more personal statement than a CashApp transaction. What better way to say you’re sorry for your white privilege than shaving your head and spending the summer bald?

After all, once you’ve shorn your locks and assumed a Sinéad O’Connor style, everyone around you will recognize you’re not only “woke” but you’re serious about it.

And we can then take you seriously when you lecture all the other white people about our systemic and innate racism, whether you’ve ever met us or not. Particularly if you want to claim that our preference for a color-blind society, something we thought Martin Luther King, Jr. was pretty much on target in calling for, is really a hidden endorsement of the current racist status quo.

Actually, at this point if you haven’t shaved your head we’re not really interested in anything you have to say on the subject. So let’s go, Amy Klobuchar. You let a bad cop walk and thus played a role in George Floyd’s death; let’s see those clippers. And you, Nancy Pelosi. Before you capitulated to the Squad, we all saw that you liked power a whole lot more than ending racial injustice. And you, Liz Warren. You’ve been awfully quiet lately, though not so long ago you couldn’t stop calling people racists who hadn’t fraudulently played the affirmative action game like you did.

Off with those locks, ladies. Your white privilege will surely fall to the ground as that hair does. You call yourselves leaders of the movement; well, prove it.

Because if you refuse, you’re clearly just as racist as the rest of us crackers. We’ll know it’s all a fraud. We already know it, of course, and we already know all this outrage, all this racial inflammation and all the rioting and looting and insane radical posturing is little more than a cheap political ploy to energize the black vote against Trump, something you need to do now that COVID-19 is ending and the economic shutdowns are giving way to a rebound in employment, and also given that the black community is generally not all that unhappy with the president at all.

It isn’t all that hard to see your lunacy as desperation. So give it some backbone. Off with that hair and then we’ll know you mean it.

Scott McKay
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Scott McKay is publisher of the Hayride, which offers news and commentary on Louisiana and national politics. He’s also a writer of fiction — check out his three Tales of Ardenia novels Animus, Perdition and Retribution at Amazon. Scott's other project is The Speakeasy, a free-speech social and news app with benefits - check it out here.
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