In one of the endless parade of media séances leading up to Sunday’s Super Extravaganza (there will actually be a football game in there somewhere), NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell told assembled sports reporters and TV viewers that there is no remaining tension between him and the Patriots over the deflategate fiasco and Goodell’s felony punishment of Pats quarterback Tom Brady on the basis of an unproved misdemeanor charge of football fondling with intent.

Those in attendance or viewing at home barely had time to consider this whopper when Roger added that his decision to attend playoff games in Atlanta rather than Foxborough had nothing to do with his approval ratings in New England, which hover somewhere below those of tooth decay, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and April blizzards.

There are probably some who believe one or both of these remarkable assertions. And they are urged to try to work in a visit to Bernie Maddoff, who has some really great investment tips for them. (Bernie’s offices are now located in the federal nick near Butler, North Carolina, where he has a long-term lease.)

If the Patriots win Sunday, I’ll be keen to watch the tension-free handover of the Lombardi Trophy to Pats owner Robert Kraft, with Tom Brady smirking behind him. (And doubtless thinking, “Deflate that, you pompous twit.”)