With allies like this, who needs to be allied?
It did not take a hack by the Russians or a leak by the Wikis to unearth what President Obama thinks of Benjamin Netanyahu. A helpful staffer of his shared with an Atlantic feature writer some years back that O. thinks N. is chicken**** because he does not take bold strides for peace.
My own cloistered upbringing on the streets of Brooklyn, New York, did not feature this pithy adjective, but we were aware of the properties of the chicken itself: loud squawking, much flapping of wings and very little in the way of real action. What the four asterisks might add to this depiction I am sure I cannot say, although I have seen caged live chickens arrive at the slaughterhouse, and there are asterisks spattering in all directions. Be that as it may, the Obama opinion of Netanyahu off the record is on the record.
The premise of all hurled epithets is that the hurler himself is far removed from the same sort of inadequacy or misbehavior. By calling Netanyahu a chicken**** Obama not only absolves himself of any slightest contact with that stinky substance. He himself is brimful of courage, a Nobel Peace Laureate who is prepared to fight, a glad-hander when possible but a gladiator when necessary. Chicken****s like Netanyahu, who once rushed a group of terrorists holding a Belgian plane hostage, can learn a lot from watching Obama, who is the one that we have been waiting for. He has taught us that Hope Solo is not the goal, but with Change, it is a keeper. He has educated us that health care may be taxing, but it is no penalty. He has reached out to bring Cuba close though still no cigar. And he has graciously welcomed Iran to join our nuclear family.
Yet all those noxious noises Obama made toward Netanyahu are in the past. Now the time has come to tell our friends the stuff that friends tell friends, real friends, that is, the kind that don’t let friends drive drunk or, for that matter, Tweet drunk. The way to do that is to have Samantha Power abstain in the Security Council from telling the Palestinians they are full of ****. Although Obama has all this courage, he chose not to speak Power to untruth. And he sent Kerry out to share a bunch of bull**** about how this was the greatest act of camaraderie ever between Uncle Sam and the Promised Land. Then he sent Kerry to Paris in the hope that a bunch of effete Europeans would solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with the stroke of a pen or the click of a mouse.
But wait… why wait? Why wait until after the election? Why let the duck turn lame before he runs the marathon? Could it be that before November 8 mighty Barack was afraid of us, the sweet little American voters? Did we scare our wuvvy duvvy widdle President man with our noisy balloting machines? In other words, was Barack Obama being chicken? He and his friends accuse Trump of playing chicken with foreign policy, but that kind of chicken does not leave **** around nor, for that matter, does he take any asterisks from anybody.
In Michael Oren’s book, Ally, the former Israeli Ambassador to the United States of Obama tells how each high-handed trick the administration played on Israel was always accompanied with the assurance the alliance between the two countries was “unshakable and unbreakable.” Now it looks like we are getting both shake-and-break and Obama’s personal recipe for fried chicken.
It seems rude to hasten our 44th President on his way into the sunset. His admirers await him on the hustings, to greet the man who turned the Peter Principle into biblical prophecy. He has proven that the highest office in the land can be prosecuted without talent and executed without competence. He is the architect of the Arab Spring and the custodian of its subsequent Winter of Discontent. He walked into the party like he was walking onto a yacht, but now he is walking into history asking: “Michelle, where did I put the darned apricot scarf?”
Goodbye, Barack Hussein, dear friend of Israel. Thank you for your helpful advice. “The only way to achieve settlement is to avoid settlement”: Got it! Enjoy your retirement, you have earned every minute. As for your fond hope that your helpful insights will further peace in the Holy Land, I have been around enough synagogue belfries to recognize that stuff. That is pure, unadulterated bat****.