Hi all, since this day feels fraught with anxiety (my house is clean, though), I thought I’d give you all something to laugh about: my election prediction. You’ll laugh because I’m always wrong, but darn it, I’m plucky and attempt this every cycle!
I’m going through the swing states and giving my takes:
New Hampshire: Republican.
I don’t understand this state at all.
See all those government workers? See all those bubble-people who are living in The Capitol ala Hunger Games? They want more of the same. Obama has been great for Statists and the parasites who survive living off the machinations of the state.
North Carolina: Edge of the Knife. Democrat.
Too many people from the Northeast have moved down south and corrupted the state. These folks (like the California commies moving to Texas) love what a natural beauty, warmth, and lower taxes have to offer and promptly try to change everything once they move there.
Florida: Hair of the chin. Democrat.
This state is really two states and the liberal state has outpaced the conservative state for some time due to Demographics.
Georgia is not a swing state. Please. Republican.
Huge Trump blowout. It won’t even be close. You know those Blue Collar Democrats aka Reagan Democrats? They’ve been waiting for Trump and he’s finally here.
Pennsylvania: Edge of the knife. Democrat.*
Will be so close that Democrats are going to have a collective heart attack but if Philly knows how to do one thing well, it’s finding more than 100% of the votes in more than 100% of the precincts.
*For once, I actually think Republicans could pull it out.
Michigan: Edge of the knife. Democrat.
There’s a reason the Democrats sent Big Gun Obama there today. It’s going to be palm-sweatingly close for them, but they’ll pull it out.
Please don’t make me explain this forsaken state.
Those commies from California? They’re moving here, too. Ruined the state.
Minnesota is not a swing state. Commies.
Wisconsin is the swingiest it’s been for a long time but have to say Democrat.
I don’t care about Guam and their lack of electoral votes.
So there you have it. If you add it all up, Trump only ends up with 241 Electoral Votes and that’s if he gets Pennsylvania. You can see my map here.