Marco Rubio has proved that, despite his short stature, he is a big man. He has apologized to Donald Trump mano a mano for the crude suggestion, during a televised debate, that the diminutive size of Trump’s hands was an indication that he fell short in the manliness department.
It turns out that this may not have been an insult after all.
It seems that in ancient times “a small penis was the sought-after look for the alpha male.” The Greeks associated a small penis with the key virtue of moderation. Next time you’re in a museum of ancient art, look carefully at the nude heroes, gods, athletes, and the like.
The ideal Greek man was “rational, intellectual and authoritative.” Satyrs, on the other hand, were mythical half-goat-men who, in accordance with their animal nature, were thought to be “drunkards and wildly lustful.” They are therefore depicted with large, erect penises.
The smallness of a man’s penis was thought to be unrelated to how often a man had sex; rather, its size allowed him to remain “coolly logical.” Perhaps, being less aware of it, he was less obsessed with it, and so better focus on the problems on hand.
It might be a matter of interest to some that it was just the opposite for Celts, whose most prominent god, Dagda, was said to have an insatiable appetite for women and food. His penis was so large that it dragged across the earth when he walked. Still, he was called “The Good God” and had many virtues: “God of Earth and treaties, Master of Magic, Fearsome warrior, also a skilled artisan.” Though, perhaps not “coolly logical.”