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If Klobuchar Would Promise to Throw Dishes and Binders at GOP Senate Committee Chairmen, I Might Vote for Her

Jerrold Nadler is busy sending out all kinds of viciously harassing investigatory demands aimed at subverting our President. Eighty-one separate sets of junk at last count outside the Democrat sewage dump, wasting valuable trees that we need to prolong earth beyond only twelve more years. Adam Schiff wants to investigate the collusion that never happened, which means that he can investigate for all eternity because, since there was no collusion, there never will be an end to looking for it. At least if there actually had been collusion, Mueller would have found it, CNN and MSNBC and ABC/NBC/CBS (one word, really) would have preempted all regularly scheduled programming for three days to cover it for 72 consecutive hours, like when President Kennedy was assassinated and when Obama was born and was visited by The Three Grand Morons (He Who Heals the Planet and Lowers the Tides; He Who Makes Papier Mâché Greek and Roman Columns; and the first CEO of Solyndra). Like a dog chasing its tail, Schiff can keep running round-and-round in his circle until he expires (whether physically or upon being declared “obsolete” by Ocasio-Cortez when she starts recycling him into those single-use disposable plastic bags she loves to use and throwinto the landfills).

Is this harassment of President Trump justified? Of course not. Is it nevertheless an OK part of the political game that both sides play? Actually, not.

Yes, Congressional oversight of the Executive branch is an important Constitutional provision. The Clintons, for example, were so corrupt that the Republicans’ failed greatly by focusing so exclusively on Clinton’s peccadilloes and cigars that they overlooked the bigger picture: Whitewater 1992. Travelgate 1993. Vince Foster 1993 (maybe nothing, maybe something — but, as Nadler and Schiff help model, worth an investigation). Filegate 1995. There were Cattle Futures, a Rose Law Firm and its billing records, all kinds of corruption. All that real corruption overshadowed the Ultimate #MeToo Guy’s cruel sexual assaults on Paula Corbin Jones, Kathleen Willey, Juanita Broaddrick (rape), and Monica Lewinsky.

And of course the Obama Wasted Decade was rife with corruption and incompetence that demanded oversight: Fast and Furious, Lois Lerner, the Benghazi Massacre and botched Susan Rice/ Hillary cover-up, the Associated Press Phone Records, the Botched Obamacare Rollout, the Criminalization of James Rosen, the $800,000-plus GSA Weekend “Training Conference,” the Pigford Scandal, Solyndra, other Shovel-Ready (but-Not-Really) Jobs, Treaties Without Congressional Advice and Consent, Weaponizing the FISA Courts, the Forbidden Unmaskings, the Secretary of State’s Emails and Secret Server, the Chinese mass Hacking of Office of Personnel Management, the VA Scandal of Veterans dying while waiting interminably for medical appointments, the New Black Panther Voter Intimidation, the Secret Cash to Iran, Colluding with Leftists in Israel to subvert that country’s national election, Tango’ing While Islamist Terrorists Were Murdering in Europe, hundreds of Waivers Exempting Political Allies from Obamacare, appointing as White House Communications Director Anita Dunn (who praised Mao to children), Appointing as CIA Director a guy who voted for Gus Hall of the Communist Party to be President of America, appointing a Tax Cheat as Secretary of the Treasury, designating the Fort Hood Islamist Terror attack as “Workplace Violence,” and Lots & Lots of Lots of Other Stuff.

Thus, there is plenty to justify Congress overseeing a President. The 2020 elections will reveal how many fair-minded voters remain among our country’s electorate after four years of non-stop media fake news and round-the-clock hostile propaganda against the President. Any fair-minded such person would recognize that Nadler’s sudden blitzkrieg of 81 sets of document demands is not about oversight but about overkill. It is not about assuring that the President does his job faithfully but about trying in every corrupt way to subvert the President from doing his job at all. If the President has to keep devoting time to meeting with attorneys and reviewing documents, and having his friends and family similarly harassed, there comes a point presumably when he inevitably has to compromise time that he otherwise would be devoting to leading the country. And that is the idea of The Resistance: Mr. Trump is doing so much — deregulating so rapidly and consequentially, ending bad treaties and agreements, moving forward so fast on energy independence, revamping foreign policy, bringing troops home, challenging and changing abuses of freedom and rights on college campuses, revitalizing the economy in so many ways, revamping the courts one federal judge at a time, and so much more — that, if The Resistance has been unable to stop him for two years, they may as well retreat to “Fail Safe” and just tie him up for the next two years with document demands, subpoenas, and witch hunts until they finally slow him down. Now we know why they have been hugging those trees: to paper his Administration to death.

There are ways for the President to deal with this, none of them great. He can refuse to produce documents and claim “executive privilege.” That one eventually lands in the courts. As everyone on both sides of the aisle now knows, the Democrats will stop by an Obama Judge in the Ninth Circuit, get whatever ruling they ask for at the district judge level, and then will win on appeal before the Ninth Circuit appellate panel. That decision then will have to “take a number” and wait on line for the United States Supreme Court hopefully to grant the matter certiorari and eventually, one of these days, to rule on it. That certainly is one step to take.

However, an important adjunct counter step should be one that protects the President by having those on his side of the aisle take the lead in fighting back. Was it Obama who said something about bringing guns to knife fights? Was it Holder who said that, when they go low, we kick them? How about a novel idea: Instead of knives or guns or kicking, howzabout just shoving their same tactical turd back at them? They want to investigate? Howzabout Republicans investigate, too?

Although Ocasio-Cortez (The Hyphen) speaks of there being three chambers of government — the House, the Senate, and, uh, like whatever, like y’know, uh the third one — the reality is that the Senate definitely is out there. They also have investigatory powers. They also can conduct hearings. Yes, there are only 53 Republican Senators available to do the kind of investigating for which there are several hundred Democrat House representatives. Thus, each Senator is busy with more committee responsibilities than House members have, and each Senator has to accommodate constituent demands emanating from throughout a state rather than to serve only those within a defined Congressional District. All true. But they do have staffers, and they can conduct investigations. Remember Watergate?

The most immediately proper response by the GOP to the Nadler tree devastation is for the Republican Senate to start investigating Obama and Hillary like there is no tomorrow — and even The Hyphen agrees that we are down to less than twelve years. There are so many legitimate national scandals that remain to be cleared up and questions to explore. The Clinton Foundation. The sale of American plutonium to people in the Russian orbit. The 33,000 missing yoga-and-wedding-dress emails dumped by Obama’s first Secretary of State. The Comey/FBI investigation of Hillary and why the most vulnerable witnesses who faced real prison time were given extraordinary deals that accorded them immunity from prosecution and the right to sit in on questionings. Why Hillary was not questioned in the way that Michael Flynn was induced to stumble on facts and end up charged with perjury. Comey’s leaking to the New York Times notes he took as part of his FBI records. Strzok-Page-McCabe-Ohr. Obama’s and Kerry’s collusion with Leftists in Israel and the expenditure of State Department funds to subvert another country’s free and democratic elections. The secret cash payments to Iran — and whether other secret cash payments to foreign agents were made during the Wasted Obama Decade. Podesta and the Hillary campaign team and their collusion with the Russians. The Solyndra deal — how it got made, who benefited. And friends of Obama: Bill Ayers, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the “Rev.” Al Sharpton, a graduate of “Draw the Lumberjack Seminary,” and his seventy-plus recorded visits to the White House. Did any of Sharpton’s agencies benefit financially from federal funds during the Obama years? Jesse Jackson’s? Did Rahm Emanuel benefit after leaving the White House? David Axelrod? Valerie Jarrett? How did Michelle Obama get a job at that Chicago hospital, and what was behind her salary increase from $122,000 annually to $316,000 a year after Barack was elected to the U.S. Senate? What was the quid, and what was the quo? (May as well investigate the pro, too.) What about bank executive Kelly R. Walsh, a board member at that hospital who approved the Obamas for a $1.3 million mortgage? And what about NBC paying Chelsea Clinton $600,000 to be a reporter?

If Nadler and Schiff want to investigate, and if Maxine and her Gang of Green New Dealers and Jew-Haters want to go after past taxes and look into past years, let the Republicans leverage their Senate majority to do the same. Old tax returns are being demanded? So demand Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental and Columbia, and his grades at Harvard. Even more importantly — his applications to get in. Did he claim any of that Elizabeth Warren stuff — Indian tribes? Did he claim Affirmative Action privileges honestly — conceding that his Mom was Caucasian, his Dad not a descendant of vile American slavery but rather a free spirit from Kenya who attended the University of Hawaii and Harvard, and that he was reared by his Caucasian grandmother? If Donald Trump’s taxes from years before his Presidency are fair game, why not these?

Until now, it seems that the Republicans — even the good ones like Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, and the resurrected Lindsey Graham — have been leaving the President and his White House team to fend for themselves, with some support from Congressmen Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows, Devin Nunes, and some others from the Freedom Caucus. But the Republican Congressmen no longer have the power. The Republicans in the Senate do; yet they are asleep.

How to wake them up? There is a way. One person in that Senate can do it: Amy Klobuchar. She makes people clean her combs after she uses them to eat salad. She insults them, sabotages their job applications, humiliates them by forcing them to go to other people and to recite their personal failings like at a Maoist cultural purification facility. Best of all — she throws solid hard objects wildly at people. If Klobuchar would promise to throw dishes and binders at the GOP Senate committee chairmen — just to wake them up — by golly, I might vote for her.

That is, if I ever move to Minnesota, the home of Amy Klobuchar, Al Franken, Keith Ellison, and Ilhan Omar. What do they call it again? Oh, yeah, Minnesota Nice.

Dov Fischer
Dov Fischer
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Rabbi Dov Fischer, Esq., a high-stakes litigation attorney of more than twenty-five years and an adjunct professor of law of more than fifteen years, is rabbi of Young Israel of Orange County, California. His legal career has included serving as Chief Articles Editor of UCLA Law Review, clerking for the Hon. Danny J. Boggs in the United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit, and then litigating at three of America’s most prominent law firms: JonesDay, Akin Gump, and Baker & Hostetler. In his rabbinical career, Rabbi Fischer has served several terms on the Executive Committee of the Rabbinical Council of America, is Senior Rabbinic Fellow at the Coalition for Jewish Values, has been Vice President of Zionist Organization of America, and has served on regional boards of the American Jewish Committee, B’nai Brith Hillel, and several others. His writings on contemporary political issues have appeared over the years in the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the Jerusalem Post, National Review, American Greatness, The Weekly Standard, and in Jewish media in American and in Israel. A winner of an American Jurisprudence Award in Professional Legal Ethics, Rabbi Fischer also is the author of two books, including General Sharon’s War Against Time Magazine, which covered the Israeli General’s 1980s landmark libel suit.
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