Rodney Dangerfield is our guest again this week. He opens with this signature line: “My wife, she’s really somethin’. Her father died last week, and she had his body frozen… Every time I go to take a snack, he falls out of the refrigerator!”
We thought we had dispensed with Hillary Clinton already, disposed with her body of political work, dispatched her to parts unknown with other bad actors. She had long since corrupted the roles of First Lady of Arkansas, First Lady of the United States, Senator from New York, and Secretary of State. Through all this she hewed a road from Hell paved with bad intentions. She was always a candidate but never candid. She built a private server to enable her self serving, and it is impossible to classify her multiple devices. Her hard drive never goes lost and it is always bleached with acid.
As awful as she has been, we were content to bury her in the past where she belongs, in the graveyard of yesterday’s news. In fact, at the 50th Gala celebration of The American Spectator in 2017, the assemblage was heard to sigh a vast right-wing respiration of relief that we could finally turn our attention to a future without the ubiquitous Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton. By her request, we had called her many names, but now we were happy to have her in the rear view mirror… er, perhaps I should rather say… we were happy to have her behind us. She dropped out of Electoral College and hopefully out of sight as well.
We thought the Democrats would do our work for us, keeping her busy with recriminations for blowing their chance. They called her a witch with reason and something else with rhyme, and they were even ready to give her a third term! She threw up a flimsy defense in the form of a book describing her collision with collusion; reviewers faulted her for elision and illusion. As Rodney says: “My wife, I got trouble with my wife… she drove the car into a tree. She said it wasn’t her fault, she blew the horn!”
But alas and alack, the lack of this lass is not to be. Every day brings word of new peculations, giving rise to new speculations. The chicanery of this chick knows no bounds. The Girls From Brazile tell us she bought out the Democratic Party with campaign money! Think of it: instead of the party paying for her campaign, her campaign paid for the party. Her primary victory was bought and paid for by her rich buddies.
Here is a thought experiment. If I told you that in Country X an upstart billionaire was running for head of state against a longtime party apparatchik and one of them had taken control of his Party’s administration by paying its bills, which candidate would you expect to be the offender?
Now the cacophony of dueling Congressional memos outlines more sordid finagling. Hillary raised money (she pays for nothin’) to pay a campaign manager who paid a lawyer who paid an “opposition research company” who paid a retired British spy who paid Russian disinformation specialists to make up nasty stuff about Trump and dress it up as a dossier so the FBI could bring it to a judge to get a warrant to wiretap a Trump campaign associate who lived in Trump Tower in the hopes of maybe finding some real dirt. Hillary is truly the most qualified criminal mastermind ever to set her sights on the levers of our power structure.
More dirt is coming, a whole infrastructure full of dirt — “shovel ready,” to coin a phrase — that continues to rebuild this Bizarro version of a Potemkin village designed originally to make Trump look bad. Hillary thought it takes a village of this sort to win an election and she went about constructing it brick by brick. Hillary grew up fair and square in the Niles suburb of Chicago, but she promised herself she would never go back. “She is Tiffany twisted,” as the Eagles song says, “she has the Mercedes bends.” She read the Chicago Daley News growing up and she learned that elections are bought. Darn it, she was the highest biddy: she was supposed to win!
As stated here last week, I implore my law enforcement and Justice Department friends NOT to investigate with an eye to indict, but to indict with an eye to investigate further. She buys parties and primaries, she knows how to buy time. We have way more than enough evidence to indict NOW; Director Comey was thoughtful enough to leave it for us tied with a blue ribbon. Take that to a grand jury immediately. Once a U.S. Attorney has one indictment firmly in place, the floodgates will open, and all the other avenues of criminality will lead to more and more charges.
But please do not count on the Congressional Republicans to do your work for you. They have never been any good at using scandal and innuendo to advance their cause. As Rodney said: “Every time I try to look out for Number One, I end up stepping in Number Two!”