“How’s Global Warming doing this summer?” I said cheerily to Henny-Penny, founder and Recording Secretary of The Holy Order of the Sky is Falling.
H-P: You needn’t be so flippant. The Eastern half of the country, not to mention all of Russia, is sizzling. It’s just as our Pontiff, Al Gore, predicted. If we don’t cap and trade carbon emissions the whole planet is in peril. Fortunately, his wonderful film, An Inconvenient Truth, is being shown on many college campuses so we are getting the word out.
Me: Speaking of your pontiff, I’m reminded of something Ronald Reagan once said: “It’s not that liberals don’t know anything; it’s that they know so many things that aren’t true.” Did you know that a British court a few years ago ruled that An Inconvenient Truth cannot be shown in U.K. classrooms without materials that point out its inaccuracies?
H-P: Inaccuracies. What inaccuracies?
Me: The film claims that a study showed that melting Arctic ice caused polar bears to drown. In fact, the study showed that a particularly violent storm caused four polar bears to drown.
H-P: That’s just one minor item.
Me: Try this. The film suggests that Global Warming could stop the Gulf Stream, leading to an ice age in Europe. They found this to be scientifically impossible.
H-P: The judges must be Global Warming deniers.
Me: No. They just went over the film with a fine-toothed comb. For example, it claims that rising sea levels have caused some South seas islands to be evacuated. The court concluded this was a false claim.
H-P: There’s no question that Greenland’s glaciers and Antarctica’s ice sheet are melting.
Me: The film would like us to believe this will happen very soon. The evidence is that it would take thousands of years for Greenland’s glaciers to melt and in Antarctica the ice is actually increasing.
H-P: Well, we certainly know that Global Warm — er — Climate Change caused Hurricane Katrina.
Me: The British court found it was “not possible” to attribute such a single event to Global Warming.
H-P: You can’t deny that Climate Change is threatening the loss of some species and causes the bleaching of coral reefs.
Me: It’s not I who denies this. The British court found no evidence to support either claim.
H-P: Well, Mr. Fancy Pants, we’re going to fix Climate Change once and for all at the big United Nations conference in Cancun in November.
Me: Just as you fixed it in Copenhagen a year ago? Perhaps you missed the news story this week. The Associated Press story reported that five days of planning talks in Bonn, Germany, ended “with rich and poor countries exchanging charges of reneging on agreements they made last year to contain greenhouse gases.”
The upcoming conference, like the last one, will be a thinly-veiled effort to redistribute assets from one set of countries to another with about as much chance of success — fortunately.
H-P: Maybe we can get the pontiff to correct those small mistakes in the film. Then it will persuade those conferees to do what he says we should do.
Me: Your beloved pontiff has been peddling non-facts for years and the British court just showed them for what it they are, blather.
Whereupon, Henny-Penny turned on her heel with a cluck and headed for the hen house.