Did you teens celebrate national condom week with Planned Parenthood? If you thought this was an “adult” celebration, you are mistaken. On the website of Planned Parenthood of Northern New England under the “For Teens” tab, you can find a “contest” to guess how many condoms are in a jar. The winner receives a free Planned Parenthood gift basket (I assume, filled with more condoms).

This is just part of PPNNE’s effort to reach teens and help them to healthily explore their sexuality, free condoms always being a plus. However, if talk about safe sex has become old news, don’t fret. The group’s newest initiative, “A Naked Notion with Laci Green,” is a fantastic resource for all sexually curious young ones.

Miss Green’s YouTube videos talk frankly about sex, including that of a kinkier variety. Planned Parenthood doesn’t even consider advice for teens on bondage and sadomasochism (BDSM) a little “taboo.”

People across the spectrum with various backgrounds participate in BDSM. The pain-is-exhilaration concept is not only old as dirt, it’s pretty common even outside the bedroom. For instance, you may have heard of a runner’s high where someone pushes themselves so hard that it results in this intense euphoria afterward. Kinda the same thing going on.

The idea of using power and control and pain in a set scene understandably sets off alarms in some people’s heads. They hear that BDSM involves spanking and pain and torture—oh, my God, it’s scary stuff!

What fantastic tidbits of advice from the 22-year-old San Franciscan who is now the voice of reason for thousands of teenagers who watch her videos. Her more than 30 other videos include topics like “abortion options,” “sex for one,” “telling your partner you have an STI,” “problems with penises,” and of course, “free birth control.”

In case you were wondering, although she has a couple videos about “are you ready?” not one encourages abstinence or adoption. And seriously, how does any 22-year-old earn the title “sex expert”?

Apparently by spewing her opinion on YouTube with sunshiney background music, bright colors, and Planned Parenthood funding.

Green admits she lost her virginity at 16 and she doesn’t regret it, even though many people condemned her decision because of a “culture-wide demonization of teen sex.” So what does she believe the right age is for teens to do it? Whenever “you want to for you and not other people.” While I respect Green’s opinion that you should never feel forced into sex, calling abstinence a “demonization” of teen sex immediately encourages young people to get on board with premarital coitus.

And now that these teens feel the need to get hot and heavy, Green swoops in with some advice on the “do’s and don’ts of hook ups.” Once again, she advises teens to do everything on their own terms and use those free condoms for protection. Is a guy eating your face off? Don’t worry, it’s okay to ask him to just kiss your lips. Whewh — I’m sure the gals will be relieved!

Last but not least she advises: “Don’t expect a hook up to turn into a relationship.” Because sex isn’t about relationships — it is about what you want.

But more shocking than tips on face-eating, hook-ups, or binding your partner are Green’s heartbreaking and flippant descriptions of abortion. It’s not as though she calls the baby a “fetus,” she goes even farther and talks about removing “the pregnancy” or “the tissue” or “emptying the uterus.” She refers to “gentle suction.” She says it all as if she was discussing having a mole removed from your lip, adding that Planned Parenthood will provide you with free snacks and a place to relax after the short procedure is complete. (And more condoms).

If this didn’t concern you enough, PPNNE gets plenty of tax-payer funding for said videos, reports CNSnews:

According to PPNNE’s 2012 annual report, it received $2,755,235 million in federal, state, and local funding, which accounted for 15 percent of its $18.9 million annual operating budget. PPNNE also received $255,000 in federal Health Information Technology (HIT) funding.

CNSnews had a tough time getting any comment from Planned Parenthood or legislators about why they think it is appropriate to support and encourage this kind of sex education. In fact, one secretary simply hung up on the reporter.

When money is tight and the economy is faltering, why are American tax dollars spent on this?

In addition, Planned Parenthood just announced its campaign efforts to derail as many GOP candidates as possible during 2014:

Planned Parenthood officials said the group intends to spend in at least 14 states, with an emphasis on a half-dozen with marquee statewide races. The targets include Senate races in North Carolina, Alaska and Montana and gubernatorial elections in Pennsylvania, Florida and Texas, where the presumptive Democratic nominee is state Sen. Wendy Davis, a hero to abortion rights supporters.

The organization will flood $18 million into Democratic campaigns focusing primarily on women’s rights, which now apparently includes bondage, submission, sadomasochism, abortion, and all the free condoms she could ever desire. Because the GOP doesn’t understand: that is what a girl wants.

What Planned Parenthood doesn’t understand is that girls need encouragement, love, and support. They need a network of people who would stand by them if they decided to carry a baby to term and to comfort them if they come to regret an abortion at a later date. They need someone to tell them abstinence is an honorable choice and they shouldn’t feel pressure to engage in kinky sex.

That, Planned Parenthood, is what a girl needs.