Halloween Games - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Halloween Games

Not content with destroying the traditional family, personal responsibility, free markets and Judeo-Christian morality, liberals are also targeting the small and innocuous joys of life. This month’s target outside of the NFL has been Halloween.

The left’s war on Halloween has always struck me as odd. I grew up in the era when liberals used to pride themselves as the anything-goes crowd. Now they are the nothing-goes crowd, unless of course they implicitly bless it first. For our well-being, they have gone nuclear on Halloween. This time of year, a day doesn’t pass without a news story of Halloween activities and parades being banned in schools. The left has also taken it upon themselves to be the arbiter of what Halloween costumes one can or can’t wear. Odd, I don’t remember Americans clamoring for advice for Halloween preparation, but yet here we are.

But if you’re trying to keep up with the PC set, according to Business Insiders Magazine these are some of the things you can’t be this Halloween:

Convict. You wouldn’t want to make the murderers, thugs, and drug dealers feel bad about themselves.

Men dressing as women. Unless of course you’re a man who typically dresses up like a woman.

Hobo. Although it is refreshing to hear the term hobo again, as opposed to the overused and often incorrect moniker, homeless.

Indian. American or otherwise one would presume.

Arab Sheik. You wouldn’t want to confuse an actual Arab Sheik, thinking he had a bunch of doppelgangers.

Geisha. Please don’t offend all the Geishas in America.

Wearing of a fat suit. No body shaming, please.

Dressing up like a Kardashian. If this would help keep the real Kardashians from dressing the way they do, then I might actually support this.

Although not stated in the article, it is understood, Donald Trump masks are encouraged, but absolutely no Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton masks allowed! Don’t even think that thought! What are you, a racist misogynist?

But the left is ruining everything it touches, even minor former nonpartisan activities like Halloween and football. Reflecting on the left’s politicization of sports and Halloween got me thinking that game six of the World Series is scheduled for Halloween night. I can only imagine what scary ideas liberals demand that we kowtow to for that game. Some thougths come to mind:

  • Taking a “reverent” knee as Hillary Clinton would call it during the National Anthem is, of course, a given and is encouraged for players and fans alike.
  • No mentioning during the broadcast that Dodger outfielder Yasiel Puig defected from Cuba. This would give people the wrong impression of that island paradise. Maybe even worse, why are cameras allowed to show him making a sign of the cross at the end of another Dodgers win?
  • The National League representative of the World Series shall be referred to as only the Los Angeles baseball team, as the term Dodgers comes from its old Brooklyn days when people used to dodge the trolleys to get to the games. Such activity is unhealthy and risky and shall not be encouraged, especially if children are watching the game.
  • No referring to Astros infielders Jose Altuve’s height or lack thereof. This could make short people feel self-aware.
  • If the Bronx Bombers had made the World Series, please no fans of Aaron Judge wearing judge wigs or robes to the game. This could offend people who are at odds with the American justice system.
  • Inviting Manager Bruce Bochy of the San Francisco Giants to throw out the first pitch. His team had the worst record in baseball this year, and this will help remind everyone the Giants are really winners as they participated this season.
  • Certainly no fans should wear Indians or Braves caps to the game as this is offensive to Native Americans. No fans should wear Angels or Padres caps as this could be threatening to non-Christians, not to mention the indigenous community. No fans should wear Pirate caps as this might be consider ethnic stereotyping of Somalis. Royals’ caps are out as they are too elitist, and Texas Rangers paraphernalia is a no go as law enforcement garb will offend the leadership of Black Lives Matter. No mentioning of the Yankees, as that term is xenophobic.

Rest assured, however, that during the Halloween season we will still see plenty of scary things, from frightening costumes to old classic horror movies on TV. But will anything be scarier than what ghouls dressed as Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, Bernie Sanders, and Hillary Clinton have in store for us all the other days of the year?

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