The “saddening” death of Fidel Castro has given me an incredible idea. It’s a little out there but I really believe that it could work. Many people I know right now are suffering, including family members and friends. Unlike liberals who enjoy seeing conservatives bloodied, beaten and embarrassed, I do not have hateful viciousness in me; mockery maybe, hatefulness no. They are still my family, they are still my friends. Even after they asked all Trump supporters to unfriend, they are still my fellow Americans, although with my plan that just might change.
So here goes, let’s adopt (annex) Cuba. We know President Obama doesn’t want to leave office and with this plan he never has too, it’ll just be a different office. We just know the Cuban people are looking for another “Freedom Fighter” to lead them for the next fifty years into prosperity. Who better than our current President? Are you going to tell me you can’t see President Obama being driven around in a convertible Ford Fairlane from 1955 wearing a beret and a Tommy Bahama shirt, with a Cuban Cigar in his mouth?
He would immediately anoint and appoint Noam Chomsky to draft a new constitution. By the leaders for the people, will be the slogan. No more hope and change, just loose change. He would appoint Bernie Sanders as his Secretary of the Treasury and Commerce. It would be the perfect climate too for Bernie in his later years, very similar to Boca Raton, although he would have to give up shuffle board for dominoes, and yes, I’m stereotyping, but I’m allowed to.
Howard Dean can be the head of Mental Health and Human Services. Keith Ellison, instead of running the DNC, would well, he can do whatever he wants because hey it’s Cuba baby. They would have weekly national sermons delivered by Louis Farrakhan. George Soros could help strengthen the economy because that’s what he is known for; we already know what uniform he will be wearing. The media would be in heaven because it’s already state run. I mean my god Cuba is the Left’s utopia, and what can go wrong in a utopia?
Now for the people that will be led by Che Obama, we arrange the Cuban/American exchange program. All Cubans who want to come to America, and I know it will be tough to convince them, come on over. All Americans who want to go Cuba should go with our blessing. Think about it my friends on the Left, free reeducation camps, free health services. Love from such world notables and dignitaries like Assad, and Abbas, oh and everyone’s little darling Trudeau. We will gladly take the athletes and gladly give you our “entertainers” and kneelers. We will gladly give you our “political prisoners” in exchange for your political prisoners. I really don’t see the downside in this.
It’s a short boat ride, and I’m sure many Cuban Americans would have no problem helping you with your boat, raft, and tire designs. Think about it, a couple hundred miles to real freedom. No more financial worries, no more war, no hunger. No religion, just Science and Obama. You can harvest the land and give up all technology post-1958. Just think about the freedom, and all those idiotic Cubans who risked life and limb to come to this disgusting atrocity that is called America.
It does sound good, and you guys on the Left can start from scratch. You can implement every liberal idea, although it will no longer be a liberal idea just Obama’s idea, which you have mapped out on college campuses for the last fifty years. This will really be heaven for you guys. Think about it, every post, but since you won’t have Facebook every poster, you create will get liked. I’m sure Cuba/book will be there in 20 to 30 years. No more tweeting just town square, screaming in 140 characters or less, all your brilliant thoughts for the day. These will then be re-screamed. Cuba will be one big university, one big safe, one big gun-free zone. After all, hasn’t history has taught us that terrorists respect gun free zones. Of course, Che Obama will have his detail, as will the people in power. But I promise that you will be just fine; remember worst case scenario: Abbas and Assad and the Canadian military have your backs.
Bon voyage, haters. You want to romanticize evil, go, you know what. You want to say that history will be the judge; no we will be the judge. The Cuban Americans who risked everything are the judge. Not you and not history. You are feckless, you are weak, and you are impotent Mr. Obama. The moral equivalencies you have made during your reign are an atrocity and a pox to those that have been beaten and tortured; to those who have died swimming to America hoping and dreaming to touch our sacred land. So I gladly give you Cuba. Take your fellow Lefty-hating Americans and just go, and we will gladly take the “lefty” Cubans in exchange. Oh, and remember to leave your passport behind. I do not look at this as hateful — just a blast of righteous indignation.
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