Philosopher Herbert Spencer once posited the idea that the future of a species depends on the “survival of the fittest.” A cursory glance at the plant and animal kingdom would seem to corroborate the theory that the more a species procreates, the more likely it is to survive. That is, until you consider the human race — specifically, the DINKs.
DINK — a pop culture term for the “dual income, no kids” lifestyle — recently went viral on social media platforms like X, TikTok, and YouTube as a growing number of young couples attempt to glamorize their chosen childless lifestyle. These young people will brag about their ability to eat out regularly, go on expensive vacations at the drop of a dime, and pick up extravagant hobbies whenever they feel like it — all because they’ve chosen not to have kids. (READ MORE: Abortion Is No Longer ‘Safe, Legal, Rare’)
There are going to be a lot of “DINKs” in the future in their 50s to 80s that are going to be regretting this strategy.
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— Wall Street Silver (@WallStreetSilv) December 5, 2023
This kind of behavior is always problematic, but it would be less so if DINKs were an anomaly existing on society’s edge who just happened to be loud enough to invoke the public disgust of Elon Musk. Unfortunately, DINKing videos aren’t just a one-off thing. They’re the product of a growing trend of young couples choosing not to have children — a choice that could be contributing to the U.S.’s rapidly declining birth rate.
Just Plain Selfishness
The obvious social (and moral) problems with refusing to have kids don’t seem to concern DINKs, who sell their lifestyle as a means of pursuing radical individual freedom. “Deciding not to have kids, and instead deciding to just focus on our interests and our desires and what we want out of life has just given us a little bit more freedom, essentially, to take advantage of the world now, versus having to wait until our kids are grown or until we retire — if we retire,” Nicole Valdez, a 37-year-old DINKer, told Business Insider.
Meanwhile, DINKer Jay Zigmont and his wife told Fortune that the most difficult part about choosing not to even try to have children (ostensibly for medical reasons) is the judgment they get from friends and family — which is as it should be. They told the magazine that they were even unable to get married in the Catholic Church after their pastor discovered their plans to avoid having children (the Catholic Church considers openness to life a prerequisite for marriage). (READ MORE: Tuberville Stands Alone)
Zigmont, who owns a financial advisory company dedicated to helping DINKs spend their money, told Fortune that “90% of [his] clients embrace a die with zero approach—they want to spend and enjoy their money throughout their life, it’s not about passing it on to another generation.”
“You’re raised to be a mother, be a father, that’s kind of the culture,” he explained. “I call it the Standard of Life Script, which is the idea you go to school, get married, have kids, buy a home—that’s just in our culture.”
The Problem Isn’t Infertility; It’s Free Will
There is an important distinction to be made between the evangelizing DINKs and couples who, for any number of reasons, are incapable of having children despite their desire to do so. Infertility is devastating, and a growing number of Americans are made to come to terms with it. But that is not at all the same as choosing not to have kids because life is more comfortable when you get eight hours of sleep and can go out to brunch every weekend without a screaming toddler.
Unfortunately, the latter group seems to be growing. Census data shows that 43 percent of American homes are childless, a 7 percent increase since 2012. Meanwhile, back in 2021, the Pew Research Center published a study showing that 44 percent of childless adults between the ages of 18 and 49 said they are unlikely to have kids — which just so happens to also be a 7 percent increase when compared to the same survey taken in 2018. Of those respondents, 56 percent said they just didn’t want kids, while a mere 19 percent blamed medical reasons, and 17 percent finances.
It’s not that a majority of these couples can’t financially support a child — it’s that they can’t support a child and continue their current luxurious and selfish lifestyle. DINKs tend to be doing quite well when it comes to finances. Fortune reports that, on average, these kinds of couples are making six figures and have a median net worth of over $200,000 — that is $150,000 more on average than couples with kids.
Given the increasing number of people choosing not to have kids, it should come as no surprise that the U.S. birth rate has been in continual decline since 2007, falling by nearly 23 percent, according to the CDC. The U.S. is currently sitting well below replacement level — at 1.67 births per 1,000 women. It may not be a problem now, but from a social perspective, a lower birth rate is going to have a huge impact in a few decades as schools close, safety-net programs are cut, and fewer individuals are available to fill the job market. (READ MORE: Mascot Bigotry)
But the real problem with DINKs isn’t that they’re not meeting some childbearing quota; it’s that the choice to refuse to bear children is societally damaging and fundamentally immoral. We have the gift of procreation for a reason — we were given a divine command to “be fruitful and multiply.” There’s nothing more beautiful or sacred than the creation of human life as a product of the love between two individuals — and there are few things more fulfilling in this life than raising a child. That doesn’t make sleeping with a newborn easier, but it does infuse those sleepless nights with joy — and the DINKs are missing that.
