I’m writing a screenplay about the Canadian truckers’ Freedom Convoy for a prolific modest-budget producer. The reason I can publicly state this with no fear of getting beaten to the screen is because Hollywoke will never touch what may be the story of the decade. If it ever did, it wouldn’t be my inspiring tale of rugged, manly rebels challenging an oppressive regime and its effete, cowardly prime minister. It would be about the sensitive, liberal, pretty-boy PM standing up to racist, insurrectionist toxic males who threaten global democracy. And it would flop.

Thirty years ago, every “A”-List actor in Hollywood would have lined up to make the movie my way — as working-class tough guys taking on their tyrannical government in the cause of liberty. Several of them played truckers before — Clint Eastwood (Every Which Way But Loose), Sylvester Stallone (Over the Top), Kurt Russell (Big Trouble in Little China) — but never as real-life heroes captivating millions in North America and around the world.

“These Canadian truckers — and everyone cheering them on, despite the rage of the establishment — are saving Canada,” tweeted Rebel News founder Ezra Levant. “They’re already making us more free. They’ve done more damage to Trudeau than the last two Conservative Party leaders combined. They’re a political tsunami.” Not coincidentally, a Levant-like maverick journalist going against the media mainstream figures prominently in my script.

The movie images alone would be spectacular: Real men driving mighty rigs. An endless convoy of trucks traversing frozen terrain. Thousands of people along the road in subzero temperatures waving Canadian flags to cheer them on. Justin Trudeau fleeing the capital in terror before the approaching mass of masculinity. Ottawa residents celebrating the truck occupation like it’s V-E Day. Black-clad police goons illegally carting off the truckers’ vital heating fuel and firewood. Trucks blockading a major bridge between America and Canada.

Such scenes would be unaffordable for an independent producer, like the one for whom I’m writing the script. Luckily for him, these scenes already exist in the form of low-cost news footage, more spectacular than any Fast and Furious CGI car jump. Pictures of the protest before Canada’s Parliament, for instance, resemble stills from a David Lean epic.

My villains occupy the sphere Hollywoke once reviled but now serves: the Establishment — complete with slimy politicians, lying media, corrupt cops, and Big Tech. And I don’t have to write menacing dialogue for them. They supplied their own, tiresome cliches included. Trudeau-in-hiding came up with the old chestnuts: “racist,” “Confederate flags,” and “This is not who we are.” While CNN’s Paula Newton went for new favorites (after January 6, 2021): “a threat to democracy,” “an insurrection,” and “sedition.” “It’s a cult!” snarled MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough. The evil of pipsqueaks who’ve never delivered a pizza slandering blue-collar truckers that are jeopardizing their livelihoods and liberty to confront injustice makes for dramatic irony. These men — and some women — kept people alive during the darkest time of the pandemic, before any vaccine, only to be abused in its decline by brutal vaccination mandates.

But the vilest betrayal came from those who should be the truckers’ natural allies, the cops. Ottawa Police Chief Peter Sloly disgraced his office by ordering the fuel seizures and petitioning the powerful financial outlet GoFundMe to freeze more than $10 million in Freedom Convoy donations. Which the company not only did but then declared its intent to redistribute unclaimed funds to designated charities. Only righteous popular backlash caused it to retract and refund the money to the individual donors — a high point in my script.

The entire Government-Media-Industrial bloc preparing to crush the relatively powerless wage earners drives my premise. I’m basically writing Easy Rider (1969) in reverse, with the now ruling-class hippies mocking and abusing the working-class heroes. Or, as the invaluable Babylon Bee hilariously spoofed, “Socialists Condemn Workers Of The World For Uniting.” Within my concept, I attack a more insidious idea, evident in every new Hollywoke production — fear and loathing of real manhood. Truckers embody it like modern cowboys and a progressive eunuch such as Trudeau cannot allow them to win, for the whole leftist world is watching — and trembling.

Brilliant writer Andrew Sullivan perfectly describes this in his Substack, the Weekly Dish: “It’s as if the ancient, manly, lumberjacky Canadian id was finally roused from its cultural slumber by a soy-boy prime minister, forcing truckers to take a jab or forfeit their livelihood. And some reports suggest that the vaccine issue seems just the proximate trigger for the rage … a rage which has been steadily building for some time, especially in the pandemic, in the most progressive-left country on the planet.”

But as clear-cut as my script is so far — real men versus weenies, regular folks versus elitists, freedom versus tyranny — it still doesn’t have an ending. That’s the problem with fictionalizing an ongoing story: the finale is yet to come. It could turn out to be a Capraesque triumph or a Kubrickian downer. For example, as I write this, Trudeau declared a state of emergency in Canada to target the truckers. The Canadian Civil Liberties Association condemned Trudeau’s action. This makes the last line of my script, said by the American protagonist, all the more significant: “What happened in Canada must never be allowed to happen here.”