Boulder Says White People Suck - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
Boulder Says White People Suck

Boulder, Colorado has plenty of city parks with boring names. Foothills Community Park, Bluff Park, and Pineview Park come to mind. So when the Boulder Human Relations Commission — itself a caricature of Boulder’s PC culture — decided to rename Columbus Day as “Indigenous Peoples’ Day” and, as part of the exercise, to rename a park in honor of the area’s long-ago majority, there is a clear intent when the place whose name is selected to be stricken from memory is Settler’s Park.

As CBS4 Denver notes, “Settler’s Park was named because it was thought to be the location of the first permanent camp of American settlers in the Boulder area.” Well, there aren’t any white people left in Boulder so why celebrate the first whites to get here, right?

I lived in Boulder County for more than a decade. Driving into Boulder itself, I was always struck at how remarkably non-diverse it is, especially for a college town. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a white liberal. The young ones, in The Hill neighborhood surrounding the University of Colorado (“CU”), can be identified by their uniform: Ugg boots and shorts.

The toughest part of a Boulder scavenger hunt would be finding a black woman (outside of CU’s “Africana Studies” department), much less an honest-to-goodness Native American, except in the one building at CU where they foment the coming revolution, led by such honest Injuns as Ward Churchill.

So, let’s just get this straight, Boulderites: White people suck. So we’re going to erase the tiny bit of history they have in your city.

Really, what else could the message be?

With that in mind, my listeners, good-hearted citizens of the world that they are, offered dozens of suggestions to the Boulder multi-cultis as they contemplate what name they’ll scrawl, presumably in war paint, over the pleasant wooden “Settler’s Park” sign.

Here are a few of my favorites: Dances with Granola Park. Red Lives Matter Park. Brought a Bow to a Gun Fight Park. We Care, but Stay Away Park. Wyatt E. Guilt Park, which comes with more detailed plans such as the inclusion of a “Trail of Tears Walking Trail — be stripped naked and flogged by park visitors of non-oppressive cultures!”

The entire memberships of the Boulder Human Relations Commission and the Boulder City Council have received our list, with one Council member gratefully replying, “Thank you for your helpful input. Your thoughtfulness is very much appreciated.” Another conceded, “OK, some of these were pretty funny.”

Indeed they are. It’s much easier to be funny when you don’t spend all day worrying about offending people’s current ridiculously tender sensibilities.

But there’s a serious point here.

It’s one thing to want to honor “Indigenous People.” I can live with that, partly out of love of history, though frankly I don’t know what impact they have on my life other than some interesting although occasionally hard to spell street names. Did the Native Americans pave Arapahoe Blvd? Did they build Chautauqua Park? If so, thanks very much, though in the pictures it looks like a bunch of palefaces there too.

What is it about Boulder’s politically correct crusaders that makes them think that the right way to honor the Indians is to erase any reference to the interesting, brave and historic — albeit far from morally perfect — efforts of the white man to settle the West?

Can’t we honor one group without feeling the need to dishonor the other?

So to the Boulder Human Relations Commission, I suggest that you pick a park that currently has a meaningless name and give it a name with meaning, a name rightly honoring the Native American people who historically resided in the Boulder area.

And then I’ll entertain a motion to make that the Commission’s final official act. Even Boulder doesn’t need its own Thought Police.

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