Last night, while I was in line with a friend of ours at what, quite possibly, might be the nicest Rite Aid in America (it’s the only one, I believe, with actual lines), something amazingly funny, surreal, and, sadly, unshocking happened. There was a woman in front of us, in line, maybe 30 or 40 years old, all depending, of course, on the lighting. Hey, since I’m now considered a misogynist, why not just run with it. She noticed the Time magazine cover with President-elect Trump as “Man of the Year.” Visibly upset and shaken, she took the magazine out of the rack and flipped it around defiantly, looking at us for support and cheer.
Not realizing who our friend is, or that our friend, regularly introduces me as “Donald Trump’s Southern California campaign manager, from Santa Barbara to the Mexican border,” I was a tad bit frozen and at an amazing loss for words. Of course, our friend never is, mind you — and always, amazingly, full of very kind words. A few funny comments were exchanged and our friend started shuffling through other magazines, which led this woman to snap her head around. Our friend assured her that, no, he had not turned the magazine cover back around but then did so. As she grabbed her receipt in disgust, our friend kindly wished her a good night and a Merry Christmas most sincerely.
As we laughed back in the car — and no, not at her, okay maybe a little bit at her — sadness and amazement overcame us. No, not sadness for this woman but sadness for, dear Lord, what we have become and what the hell is going on. Then, sheer gratefulness that Donald Trump is the President-elect. Talk about another surreal thing to say on a daily basis. Imagine the utter loss of free speech that our great nation would have descended into, had Hillary won the election. Put our scenario in reverse or at least in a different order. Imagine if it was us in line first, debating whether or not to buy the magazine. I am of course his “Southern California campaign manager.” What if we had actually procured the magazine — do you think that woman would have been as kind to us as we were to her?
A magazine cover, think about it, a magazine cover sent a person into shock, sadness and bewilderment, and amazingly, this might be a gross understatement. Who raised these people? How have they survived this long that a magazine cover can have this sort of effect? How pampered and spoiled have they been? My God, are they watching what’s going on around them in the world? Have they seen what’s happening in in Aleppo or Chicago? Have they no soul that this is what truly gets to them?
Imagine, people on the Left, if all of your efforts to derail the President-elect, to delegitimize him, and to mock him and his supporters were spent on those actually suffering. You think you’re suffering? I’ll tell you what: Why not invite to dinner the spouses and family members of our nation’s fallen heroes, as they discuss how their loved ones were killed? You can share how you understand their suffering, because you felt the same exact way when Hillary lost. As they have to figure out their future, without their loved ones, again, you can share how you totally get it, since you don’t know how you will survive without Hillary.
I really wanted to be nice after this election. I did. I wanted to take the high road and not be a “spoiled winner,” but many of you on the Left have made that nearly impossible to do. You want to make celebrity videos begging the Electors to change their vote: fine, Martin Sheen. Game on. There is no one better to listen to about how to run a nation/family than you. Yes, you are the perfect emissary on all paternal advice. Debra Messing: You looked like you were auditioning for a Lifetime movie, which is a good thing for you because, yes, your career is now relegated to that. As to the rest of the “celebrities” in that video, I’ve not a clue as to who you are, other than Moby, and it’s not 2001 anymore, and thank you for making me Google you to see when you were actually ever relevant.
So, from now on, I’m going to do something that might prove a little costly pricewise. I really don’t want to put money in the coffers of Time magazine. But, my goal to trill liberals right now far outweighs my journalistic goal of not supporting Time magazine. At every checkout counter I hit that has the Man of the Year issue, I will take one and ask the cashier how much it costs. I will then respond: “A small sum for a great man, and I’ll take two.” Maybe I’ll have a better response by the time I get to the store, one that doesn’t make me sound like an aristocrat, although that too could be funny.
As the weekend approaches, I encourage all of you to find your own magazine to buy. Heck, it can be as simple as stopping in the middle of the street and singing the National Anthem. Or, it can be as courageous as proposing to your fiancée on the Jumbotron, wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat. I just pray that your fiancée wasn’t the girl in front of us in the checkout line, or maybe I’m praying she was.