5’11″/sapiosexual privileged white male
I was born in Brooklyn, New York, to two very liberal parents. My father would often quote the great philosopher Russel Ziskey and tell me to “never hit anyone in anger, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it.” I don’t believe my parents’ liberalism went far enough. My parents believed in borders, and I don’t. My parents actually buy non-organic produce and shop at other stores besides Whole Foods. They actually don’t believe in partial birth abortion, while I’m okay with aborting after the first couple of years. My philosophy is, if the thing is still feeding off the mother, then it is still part of the mother, so ergo it’s her body, her rights.
I believe that the white man’s time has come and gone. I have sadly been granted white privilege and have often thought about getting my skin darkened. I also have thought about getting a sex change, not because I need one but because it’s the right thing to do. I love my mother more than anything in the world and truly believe we are all women at heart. I still listen to every word she says, and when back east, we often go to the ballet together and her regular Wednesday night women’s rights book club. The sons of the women are allowed to attend; we aren’t allowed to speak, but we are allowed to listen.
Lastly, if you voted, or know anyone that voted, or associated or even mentioned his name out loud, please swipe left. I believe all “you know who” supporters should probably be killed, and at the least lose their jobs and families, and should be kicked out of this horrific filthy country we call America. These are the ideals and morals I want to raise your children with. In the end, I’m OK with whatever you tell me. Tell me what to do and who I am. I promise I will never raise my voice or speak my mind.
What I do with my life:
I have started my own not-for-profit group called Men Suck. We have workshops and retreats that help men understand how men have ruined the world. We use conversion therapy and shock treatment, not just on the brain, but also the testicles. We have women come in and have regression therapy, where instead of punching a manikin, they can actually punch the real thing and ease their suffering. Our mission statement is we are “saving womankind, one testicle at a time.” By the way, amazingly, this has been very profitable, not that it matters, and we plan on being in 26 states very soon.
Anything with subtitles. American cinema is dead. These chauvinist, misogynist racists should just stop making movies.
But here are some of my favorites:
Talk To Her, a brilliant Almodovar film; everything he does is just fabulous. It’s a brilliant movie about just talking to her. You know what I decided? I’m not going to tell you about the movies I love. I’m going to help you experience them. I will take you to the countries where they were filmed, if you let me, of course. That’s ten movies and ten different countries.
Favorite songs and bands:
Everything Lillith Fair
Pink Floyd (only because of their hatred for Israel, otherwise they are a hack rock band)
The White Stripes
The Black Keys
The Black Lives Matters Orchestra
There are too many more to name and sadly some you probably have never heard of. But if you let me, I will make you wonderful playlists for your flights.
6 things I can never live without:
No sports, please no sports. Let’s protest together. I will order you an Uber, even though I think cars should be banned. I will buy a few signs, of course ones made on recycled something, if you allow me to, of course. We can meet on the sidewalk across from the park, and we will recognize each other. My sign will say you matter and yours will say you don’t. I truly cannot think of anything more romantic than this. Protesting under the stars; it doesn’t make me want to cry, it’s actually making me cry.
Only if you want full control of a man and what’s left of his parts. ????????????????????????????????????????????????????✈️⛴
With the New Year coming up and many Republicans getting the big swipe left, please feel free to copy and paste my dating profile.
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