A Comey Under Every Bed | The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
A Comey Under Every Bed
by

So if you were alone in a room with James Comey, how would you behave? He’s said to be a boy scout, so he might help you across a busy street, but then you wouldn’t be alone with him anymore. You think he’d take notes of your encounter, for self-protection of course, in case you later accused him of improper advances, say? Or maybe you would turn the tables on him and secretly record his remarks. Maybe you could ask him about Cheryl Mills, a close confidant to Madame Hillary Clinton who though she was up to her ears in that Clinton funny stuff received generous immunity from James Comey’s FBI and was even allowed to sit in on the FBI’s interview with her boss. Any memos on that, Jim? At your convenience, kindly send us a leak.

But again, we should be grateful for the big lug. A boy scout doesn’t use bad words. Not like say the folks at CNN who when they’re not faking the news or issuing corrections are having a host dismiss the president of the U.S. as a piece of fecal matter. Where could he have gotten that idea? Maybe from Anderson Cooper himself, who in a peevish throwaway line a several days earlier snapped at a panelist on his show who had gotten his dander up that the panelist’s tolerance for the president would probably survive even if the president took a bathroom break atop his desk, which is presumably in the Oval Office where they’re still airing the place out after a late ’90s affair.

Nor, to the best of our limited knowledge, has our big boy scout ever been on Bill Maher’s obscenity-infested fest on HBO. He’s upright but not as much as Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse, who prides himself on being to decency and conservatism what Mr. Comey is to decency all by itself. So next thing you know, Sasse, how hates Donald Trump more than the guy who concocted the “dossier” on him, took his act to Maher’s show. He’s pushing a new book on how to raise kids to become good hard-working and (presumably) God-fearing adults, a very quaint notion these days. But why drop in on Maher country, where having kids let alone behaving grown up are never in the cards? Ah, because he’s thinking of running for president, to be there when the libs are done with Trump and he alone can emerge as the great Republican savior. He’s a Sasse one, all right.

And the dolt Bill Maher, maybe too high on himself or whatever he injects into himself, tried to match wits with the corn country conservative. Big mistake. Now every PC court is out to lynch Maher. It would take too long to explain what he said. The only thing that interests us is why Sasse would give Maher time of day but not a president of the United States who has already given the White House back to his party along with lots of other goodies conservatives long ago stopped dreaming about.

It was sad to see Senator McCain floundering, perhaps because Senator Graham has moved even further away from him, letting it be known he’s seriously concerned his presidential candidacy was spied on no less so than that of more prominent Republican candidates. So there we have it: Madame Hillary has the Russians to blame for her current condition; Senator Graham has someone closer to home. The same guy who’s now shelled out $8.1. million for his new Washington home. If we were he, we’d sue the architect of that ugly manse. He needs an underwriter, after all, now that Tony Rezko isn’t around to see to his housing needs.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to end on a public service announcement. As anyone with good taste knows, public television has been on an extended pledge week drive. Good for it — or maybe it knows its days of feeding at the trough are running out. Any viewer of the PBS Newshour who’s not a New York Times loyalist can only stop in wonderment on absorbing its evening news report. At least at CNN ultra-partisanship is not government-sponsored. But why is the federal government underwriting only-Democrats-can-apply newcasting? Newshour needs to go the way of the Paris Accord. Good luck raising money for your stations or your sanctuary climate cities. Just don’t count on federal funds ever again. You may have been born in subsidized privilege, but you’re going to end your life in self-supporting honesty. And you’ll have Donald Trump ultimately to thank for setting you on the right track. And this week’s Enemy of the Week prize. It’s not a Pulitzer, just a modest parting gift, a token of our esteem after getting steamed once too often.

Maybe you could hire the tall boy scout as your night watchman.

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