I have everything I need to attend Donald Trump’s inauguration on Monday from afar. Due to the low temperatures in Spain, my ceremony will also be held indoors. I’ve filled the walls with American flags, I’ve ordered half a dozen 10-story hamburgers, two cases of beer are chilling in my fridge, and I plan to parade down the hallway with an urn full of Wokeism’s ashes. I’ve been practicing the Donald Trump holiday dance at the gym for weeks and I must say that my biceps already look like Hulk Hogan’s.
As of Monday … there will finally be an adult in the classroom of international politics.
As of Monday, we will be closer to the end of the absurd wars that are ruining the West, the schoolyard will cease to be chaos, and there will finally be an adult in the classroom of international politics.
As of Monday, a new era begins for the West. It will be a magical moment. Suddenly, human beings will once again be divided into two sexes, we will be able to call Hamas terrorists, Hamas terrorists, and nature and its resources will once again be at the service of man, and not the other way around. On Monday shouting “law and order!” will not be a thing of fascists but of good men, we will have a president in the White House capable of leaving the stage without falling into the void, and the vice-presidential office will be cleared of the empty vodka bottles lying on the floor.
As of Monday, illegal immigrants will have to go back home and look for a good reason to become legal like everybody else, the police will feel supported by the Government when fighting crime, and the Government will take some of its 25 hands out of the citizens’ pockets. As of Monday no one will be laughing with Nicolas Maduro‘s idiotic jokes, abortionists will once again occupy the lowest rung in social scum, and no public authority will work to divide and pit Americans against each other based on race, sex, or political ideology.
Starting Monday, no one will be able to consider you a climate terrorist for driving a damn gas guzzler, maybe America will be able to get back to joyfully pumping its oil, and we’ll see the start of a comprehensive government audit for inefficiencies, redundancies, and nonsense, leading to an immediate slimming down plan. It will be a real pleasure to see how this morbidly obese government slowly begins to regain the figure of Melania Trump.
As of Monday, we will be closer to the end of the absurd wars that are ruining the West, the schoolyard will cease to be chaos, and there will finally be an adult in the classroom of international politics. As of Monday, the tap from which gushes the immense public spending destined to brainwash children in schools with aberrations such as Critical Race Theory, transsexualism, or the sexualization of minors will be turned off.
As of Monday, the idiots at the UN and NATO will have to get off their asses and get to work to convince the United States that there is any point in remaining there, in the midst of these antiquated organizations that have been left only to act as a loudspeaker for the woke nonsense of the moment and other mental flaws of the globalist left.
Starting Monday it will be a bad idea to become a drug dealer in the United States, Islamists will have to think twice before setting foot in the country, and the idiots in charge of Mexico, Canada, and China will have to eat Trump’s much-anticipated tariffs.
As of Monday, the suckups in the European Parliament, crazy von der Leyen, the German Social Democrats having wrecked the Old Continent, with other leftists, centrists, and conservatives who are self-conscious about being conservatives, will have to get rid of their Kamala Harris T-shirts and caps, start respecting Trump, and stop demonizing the patriotic conservative sentiment that is growing throughout Europe, even though the idiot center-right and the left keep joining forces in an effort to stem the tide.
In this sense, it is a fair and wonderful decision that on Monday, on Capitol Hill, neither the Spanish socialist president Pedro Sánchez, nor the leader of the opposition Alberto Núñez Feijoo (whose party timidly voiced their preference for Kamala Harris) will be invited, but the leader of Vox, Santiago Abascal, the only one who supported from the first moment Donald Trump’s campaign and who defended the urgent need of a great conservative movement throughout the West.
At the end of my domestic ceremony I have set up a podium by the window, with a PA system outside, through which I will read this article to my neighbors. I will conclude solemnly before sounding the anthem, with these words for posterity: “Starting Monday, at last, America will be better and freer, and the world a little better and a little freer.”
Next we will drink until we are unable to spell the word “Trump.”
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