Lock Up the Kids and Pets – The American Spectator | USA News and Politics

Lock Up the Kids and Pets

Larry Thornberry
by

Take a look at this walking nightmare in Florida.

Now that’s one damn big lizard. Or perhaps it’s just Refrigerator Perry in a cheap green suit.

Those photographers are waaay too close to this monster, especially the ones shooting prone. They’re obviously not from around here. This is an excellent way to become gator pellets. Gators normally aren’t aggressive toward people. But they can be if they feel threatened. And though they normally fetch along at a leisurely pace, as this Jurassic specimen here is doing, they can move very fast when they want to. Floridians know this and keep a respectful distance.

Call in Crocodile Dundee. The good burghers of Polk County, Florida will feel more at ease once this bad boy becomes shoes, belts, wallets, handbags, and deep-fried gator tots (tastes like deep-fried chicken).

Larry Thornberry
Larry Thornberry
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Larry Thornberry is a writer in Tampa.
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