I’ve been at CPAC since Wednesday night. It has not been pretty. Trump is not beloved among the grassroots or the Establishment. Ben Carson still has a booth with a presence here. eople are wearing skirts that cannot be adequately described as “appropriate.” Al Jazeera tried to talk me out of joining the NRA, and then this morning, I asked a man dressed as a Minuteman whether he was voting for Trump. He wasn’t, got suuuuuper offended, informed me that he was Thomas Jefferson and huffed away. So, basically, I offended a Founding Father.
But instead of talking about what’s happening here, and the collective gray cloud that has decended on a conservative movement suddenly coming to grips with the idea that everything they’ve worked their entire lives for will be blown away in an instant by a man whose most emphatic statement during last night’s debate had to do not with his policy, but with his penis size, let’s briefly discuss the moment our political discourse turned into a debate about tiny fingers.
But while The Donald’s wang was the major attention getter of the night, it was Donald’s theory on military deployment that was the most rattling. According to Donald Trump, the military would have no choice but to follow his orders, regardless of their legality.
That is not a thing that happens, Mr. Trump.
If you’re looking for complex debate coverage done in terms of winners and losers, well, let’s just say that last night, Ted Cruz probably won, but ultimately, America lost. Out of four candidates, two spend the night arguing about things not normally considered in Presidential elections. One, Cruz, tried to preach to the audience in a vain effort to pull votes away from his fellow potential nominees, and the one man on stage with the least chance of being President, John Kasich, ended up looking like the only one who managed to graduate Kindergarten (even if, every time he opened his mouth, I dozed off a little). We’re only lucky the Democrats are faring no better, with a disastrous primary process, between a candidate who has been looking for his car keys since 1994, and another who is likely going to be indicted.
This isn’t “battling the Establishment.” At this point, we’re simply battling common sense. Burn it all down and start over, everyone. Just start over.