We are just hours away from the end of America’s first-in-the-nation primary and you can feel the excitment in the air as we all ponder the pressing questions: will voters rescue Marco Rubio from his media narrative? Can Jeb Bush pave his way through to next Tuesday with Chris Christie fat jokes? Are there enough out-of-touch-with-reality New Englanders willing to put yet another nail into the Clinton campaign’s coffin?
So many questions, so few people who care about the answers. But at least as far as the last question is concerned, well, maybe things are looking better for ol’ Hillary than can reasonbly be expected. Thanks to an enterprising Hillary supporter pictured on the Jumbotron at her final New Hampshire rally, the Clinton campaign – which is rumored to be “restructuring” in response to her devastating loss in Iowa – may have a very workable new slogan: #SettleforHillary.
Obviously, the gentleman pictured is doing with the kids call, “trolling,” – that is, trying to glibly undermine the former Senator with his very presence, and his custom tee shirt. But frankly, this young genius might have stumbled on exactly the message Team Clinton should be stressing as they press the flesh at primary voting locations: can you really do any better than a sixty year old grandmother with a spotty past and tendency towards illegal activity? You really can’t. So why bother? You’ll never be happy with that Bernie Sanders guy, and his free college and his vague cheese-like smell. You may as well go with the Democratic candidate who showered this morning, and who fully commits to showering every morning.
Settle, America. Settle for Hillary.