It’s only Tuesday, but it’s all happening.
In Our Sights
Democratic third-from-the-frontrunner Jim Webb is reportedly planning to drop out of the Democratic nomination process in order to pursue a third party run. Webb, who bears no resemblance to the rest of the Democratic field in that he might actually make a good President, will attempt to sway independents with, hopefully, a marginally better campaign than he’s been running.
Vice President Joe Biden is running for President! Except that he’s not running for President! Until he is! Probably! LOUD NOISES.
After Hillary Clinton announced that she would beat Bernie Sanders to the issue of gun control by calling for a national buy-back program that sounded suspiciously like mass firearm confiscations, the Clinton team would like to reassure Americans that she does, indeed, like the idea of taking their guns. She just won’t be saying anything more about it.
Last night, Canada elected Justin Trudeau as Prime Minister, because what could possibly go wrong after electing the marginally talented, inexperienced, legacy son of a former leader to run your country? Turns out, a lot — and that’s just at the victory rally.
Yesterday, Texas became the latest state to deprive Planned Parenthood of the Medicaid funds it so desperately needs in order to successfully harvest the parts of unborn children for scientific research.
Strange and Wonderful
An “unexpected asteroid” will zip within striking distance of the Earth on Halloween. If you haven’t chosen a costume yet, might we suggest Bruce Willis in any form?
Around the Watercooler
If you haven’t seen the new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens yet, well, what the heck is wrong with you? Thankfully, we’re here to provide you with some much needed cultural guidance.
Watch it, love it.
This Day in History
On this day in history, <s>House Un-American Activities Committee</s> The House Committee on Un-American Activities convened {ed note: apparently, I used a colloquial, not the official, title. My apologies!} in order to root out undercover Communism in Hollywood. Fifty years later, the Communists run Hollywood, 47% of Democrats say they have a favorable opinion of socialism, and Microsoft Windows 10 won’t uninstall from our office computers. Coincidence? We think not.
Happy Tuesday, Spectators!
