The Morning Spectacle: Weekend Warriors - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
The Morning Spectacle: Weekend Warriors

Hey! We’re back for good this time! Thanks for all of your special requests for our return. And also for your hate mail. 

In Our Sights

Hillary Clinton has finally come up with a way to differentiate herself from the rest of the Democratic candidates that has nothing to do with her gender. She’s going after guns in a big way, proposing a mandatory, national gun buy-back program like the one that didn’t work in Australia.

Voters may still be utterly confused as to who should earn their vote, but the Secret Service made their own decision on which candidates are America’s frontrunners. Donald Trump, Ben Carson and Hillary Clinton all earned a private Secret Service security detail for themselves starting this weekendJeb Bush reportedly consoled himself by dressing up his dog in a suit.

Are conservatives losing confidence in their leaders because people like Ted Cruz give them unreasonable expectations of what can be accomplished? Or are Americans just catching on to the 52-week vacation we call “elected office?”

Congressman Trey Gowdy, head of the select committee investigating what happened in Benghazi that resulted in four American deaths, would like Republicans who are not on the select committee investigating what happend in Benghazi to shut the hell up and get back to work, please.

North Korea saw what you did with that Iran deal thing, John Kerry, and they would like to speak to you about a “peace treaty.” 

Strange and Wonderful

Yale University astronomers have found what could either be a massive swath of space rock orbiting a faraway planet, or they’ve discovered a giant alien superstructure that will probably wipe us out of the Milky Way. Either one works, really.

Around the Watercooler

Because dreams really do come true, Saturday night, Larry David effectively impersonated Bernie Sanders in SNL‘s cold open. “Who do you want to run your country? Billionaires? Or a guy who has one pair of underpants he dries on a radiator?”

This Day in History

On this day in history, British General Cornwallis surrendered to George Washington at Yorktown, effectively ending the Revolutionary War and giving birth to what we now know today as the country that birth the Kardashians.

Happy Monday, Spectators!

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