Since it’s Friday, I figured it would be difficult for me to entice you with anything you needed to think about (at least, that’s how I’m feeling about this week), so why not pick on an old enemy in familiar territory, The View? I mean, I do sort of feel bad about it – fewer people watch The View than watch that “live surgery” channel – but there’s a certain familiartiy in subjecting yourself to such a level of tortue, and you learn to appreciate the little things in life, like people who have normal voices.
At any rate, this week, The View inevitably discussed the Democratic debate, despite having a collective grasp of policy that rivals a single stuffed animal, and their “hot takes,” were, if nothing else, at least…hot.
You have to get a few minutes, in, but it’s worth it. Joy Behar admits to being “aroused” by Bernie Sanders, a man who looks like he was tossed out of a taxi while it was rolling over a rain puddle. Apparently, his policy positions are not only socialist, they’re downright sexy.
Of course, you and I know that there’s nothing sexy about liberal men – no one likes a guy who is forever trying to redistribute your salary, forces you to exercise your “equality” by picking up that check after dinner, and weeps openly over the thought of processed chicken (and tie-dye just isn’t a good look for anyone) – but the ones who were vocal about their Barack Obama shower fantasties seem determined to punish our disobedience to their superior intellect by forcing us to consider the thought of (1) Bernie Sanders arousing anyone and (2) Joy Behar aroused.
Frankly, I can’t imagine being physically attracted to a single person who has declared for President, even Martin O’Malley, who the Internet has independently declared the single hottest Presidential candidate since that time the male strippers pretended to run for office on a “Get Out the Vote” bus sponsored by Cosmopolitan magazine.