The Morning Spectacle: Monday, Monday - The American Spectator | USA News and Politics
The Morning Spectacle: Monday, Monday

Welcome to the week, Spectators! Did you enjoy the better weather?

In Our Sights

Everyone is preparing for the debate this week, but Jeb Bush is studying extra hard – not to deflect questions about his history on education policy or his stance on immigration reform. He’s rehearsing his answers to possible Donald Trump insults.

Freedomworks held their “Grassroots Summit” this past weekend, and at the end of the weekend, conducted a straw poll that one candidate ran away with, almost thirty percentage points ahead of the next candidate. No, it wasn’t Trump. It was Ted Cruz.

John Kerry and his team negotiated with the Iranians under the assumption that the Iranians were nearing the end of their supply of uranium, thus putting their enriching days to a swift and abrupt end and giving western countries the ability to control the radioactive import buiness. Unfortunately for them, Iran just happened, over the weekend, to come upon a rich stock of uranium right inside the country that they can mine all for themselves. Isn’t life just so funny?

Two topless female activists from Femem stormed the stage at a Muslim conference in France over the weekend, in an effort to bring attention to the disparate treatment of women in the Muslim world. Conference attendees quickly proved that the protesters had a point.

Rick Perry dropped out of the Presidential race on Friday. Then he gave a speech that made everyone remember why he got into the race in the first place.

Strange and Wonderful

Bob Ross painted friendly trees and happy skies for people who were unable to see friendly trees and happy skies in living color.

Around the Watercooler

Imma let you finish, Miss Georgia, now that you’ve officially been crowned Miss America, but Miss Colorado had the best talent competition performance of all time (and we’re including that flaming baton-twirling performance in 1973). Thanks, nurses, for all you do. 

Have a fabulous week, readers!

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