You’re getting close, guys. So close.
The FBI announced this morning that they’re beginning an investigation into whether Hillary Clinton‘s private email server was hacked. Thanks to brilliant timing, this is basically an open-and-shut case: a hacker has come forward claiming to have 37,000 of the Presidential candidate’s emails, available to the highest bidder.
The RNC is reportedly circulating a “loyalty pledge” among candidates for the Republican nomination, in order to ensure Donald Trump stays a Republican even if he’s not nominated. Not only is this kind of creepy, but it shows the RNC hasn’t read Trump’s Art of the Deal: don’t sign anything until you know what’s in it for you.
Things are still not going well for Rick Perry, who pulled the plug on his New Hampshire operation yesterday. Even worsel: Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee are still, somehow, in the race.
Carly Fiorina is such a badass that she effectively defended her tenure at HP in a live interview with CNN before boarding a plane at National Airport, while a woman draped in a comforter meandered around behind her.
The Washington Post is blowing the lid off of a scandal that should take down Donald Trump! Or something.
“The first rule of Toddler Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Toddler Fight Club. That shouldn’t be a problem because most of you can’t talk at all.”
A federal judge tossed out Tom Brady’s suspension. Guess he’s a Pats fan.
Trump says Huma Abedin cannot be trusted with secrets because she is married “to a perv”…
Hillary says that is nonsense: “Has that ever stopped me?!”
Happy Thursday, Spectators!