The weekend is so close you can taste it.
House Majority leader John Boehner would do well to remember that people carry cell phones with them to donor dinners now. And the ones who don’t don’t necessarily have similar feelings about Ted Cruz.
Speaking of, while Democrats are busily whipping votes to get the Iran deal past a Republican blockade in the Senate, Ted Cruz is taking matters into his own hands. The circus comes to town on September 9th, tentatively.
Jeb Bush‘s poll numbers have been dropping faster than granny panties at a Bernie Sanders rally. It turns out that you can’t just announce you’re running for President, flash around a logo that looks like it should be plastered on off-brand dish soap, and run away with the nomination.
It has now been confirmed: that thing on Donald Trump‘s head is actually real hair.
Remember earlier this week when we told you that Lois Lerner had more than one email address that she used to get around IRS protocol? It turns out that the name “Toby Miles” didn’t come out of nowhere. They named the dog Toby Miles.
A woman found Donald Trump‘s face in her tub of organic butter. Because, of course she did.
The last great cliffhanger from the 1990s has been resolved: whatever happened to Phoebe Buffay? Well, it turns out that she’s good friends with Taylor Swift, and the two performed Phoebe’s signature tune, “Smelly Cat,” on stage together Wednesday night.
“Joe Biden may join Bernie Sanders in the Democrat primary… I thought the Democrats were opposed to fossil fools!”
Happy almost-weekend, Spectators!