My roommate is spending quarantine getting yoked. The man has gained nearly 20 pounds of muscle, spending all of his available time either eating or doing chin-ups in our shared bathroom doorway.
In addition to this constant pursuit of a Randy Savage-esque form, he spends the rest of his time binging the entirety of HBO’s hit drama The Sopranos.
While this may explain the truly biblical quantity of spaghetti he consumes, it adds a nefarious edge to his exercise.
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This Adonis-in-progress-turned-potential-mobster haunts my every waking hour. Am I a potential threat to his power in our fragile apartment ecosystem? Most terrifyingly, what if he decides that if he wants something done he should do it himself?
I’m pretty scrawny, so I don’t think that would end well.
To escape this dread, I’ve turned to one of my burgeoning hobbies: mixology.
What better way to drown out the double-edged fear of coronavirus and a potentially murderous roommate than to numb all sensation, especially when you can call the process a “skill”?
For me, it’s about the simple pleasures when it comes to cocktails. I prefer old fashioneds, gimlets, and other three-ingredient creations. There’s something to be said about getting the basics perfect. I would trust anybody with an in-depth understanding of essentials over someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure ingredients and their flavors. Or at least I tell myself that to lessen the sting of being unable to afford any luxuries.
I do make a concession for one cocktail.
Those who lack courage will tell you a whiskey sour has three ingredients: bourbon, simple syrup, and lemon juice. Most bars take this line of thinking one step further, simply mixing whiskey with lemonade and serving it with a straight face.
The initiated, however, know this path is only for the weak-willed.
A whiskey sour is not complete without an egg white.
You may balk at this addition, either due to an unadventurous palate or a fear of salmonella, but the difference is night and day. A flat and acidic drink becomes frothy and smooth, a perfect balance for a sophisticated drinking experience.
For the perfect whiskey sour:
- Mix 2 oz of bourbon, 0.5 oz of simple syrup, 0.75 oz of fresh lemon juice, and a single egg white from a large egg in your shaker.
- Shake the mixture without ice for a few seconds. This is crucial, as dry shaking makes for a far frothier finished product.
- Add ice, shake once more.
- Pour into a sour glass and garnish with 4 drops of bitters.
Give it a few tries: a good whiskey sour can be tough to mix right. Feel free to change the recipe for your own preferences.
And hell, get rid of the egg white if you want. I might just be looking for any way possible to assert dominance right now.
