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Movie Takes
Life of Pi
A boy and a Bengal tiger alone on a lifeboat.
That they were both nominated for Best Picture of 2012 in the Academy Awards may obscure the fact that Life of Pi is in one essential respect, at least, the opposite of Amour. In the latter film, Michael Haneke is determined to look at both the world and the question of religious belief with despair, whereas in Life of Pi, Ang Lee is entirely on board with Yann Martel’s equally determined but rather naive hopefulness. Both are very well done, if rather one-sided, but they make a remarkable pair of bookends for the problem of belief in our time. Amour takes the cheer out of the cheerful atheism of Richard Dawkins and company and so gives us a better idea of what we’re really getting; Life of Pi is refreshingly unapologetic about its gods while still preserving something of their Old World (or Old Testament) savagery.
Mr. Lee brings enormous directorial skill and, with the help of computer-generated imagery, visual artistry to a straightforward attempt at myth-making. Kipling tried something like this in his story “The Knife and the Naked Chalk,” as did John McTiernan’s movie The Thirteenth Warrior, though both were dealing with established myths and purporting to explain them in naturalistic terms. Life of Pi is more ambitious, creating an entirely new myth out of a naturalistic story which is only revealed to us at the end. Up until that point the myth, so splendidly photographed and its story so well told, has things all its own way. Young Pi (Suraj Sharma), aged about 16, emigrates with his family and the zoo they have long owned in Pondicherry, India, to Canada. The Japanese freighter on which they are crossing the Pacific founders in a storm and Pi and a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker are the sole survivors, uneasily sharing the same lifeboat for weeks adrift as Pi by one means or another manages to avoid becoming the tiger’s last meal.
Both boy and Bengal more than once touch the edge of despair and oblivion, and for the former if not the latter this becomes a quasi-mystical experience. Pi, already revealed to us as a spiritually questing person with an allegiance of some kind to at least three of the world’s major religions, takes these brushes with the infinite as the occasion for reflections on life, the universe and everything, but the upshot of all is a firm conviction that one must never lose hope and that God’s Providence, thank God, is little changed since the days when it stood that other shipwreck victim, Robinson Crusoe, in such good stead. “Without Richard Parker I would have died by now,” explains Pi. “Fear of him kept me alert; tending to his needs gave my life focus.” What looked like the blackest of fates became a spiritually transforming experience.
All this story is told in flashback by the middle-aged Pi (Irrfan Khan), now some kind of professor of religion, to an interviewer (Rafe Spall) who has been told by someone else that Pi’s story would compel belief in God. It doesn’t quite do that, but at the conclusion of the story which the film has narrated for us, Pi then tells him a quite different one — one which is duller and less fraught with meaning but more in keeping with what we know about worldly probabilities — and asks him which of the two stories he prefers. Of course, we are as sure as he is to answer that it is the one we have been watching for two hours, the enthralling one with the boy and the Bengal tiger alone on a lifeboat together in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
“The tiger; that’s the better story.… And so it goes with God.” Or rather, so God goes with it. Religion has always been a matter of stories, as we are reminded by Pi’s early experiences with the comic-book gods of the Hindus, and they tend to be stories with the miracles left in that the Japanese insurance adjusters in this one politely ask Pi to leave out. It’s not good to forget that, as Kierkegaard suggested when he said that the stone rolled away from Jesus’ tomb ought to be called the Philosopher’s Stone, as it has perplexed the philosophers ever since. Yet philosophers are also necessary to point out that, if belief is a matter of choice — the tiger story is the one we like better, after all, not the one most likely to be true — it doesn’t render questions of truth trivial or irrelevant. Just out of the mesmerizing shot, as it were, in the beautifully rendered Life of Pi, there is more than a hint of the kind of flip postmodernism that thinks such questions are meaningless.
Photo: UPI
About the Author
James Bowman, our movie and culture critic, is a resident scholar at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He is the author of Honor: A History and Media Madness: The Corruption of Our Political Culture, both published by Encounter Books.
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TLP| 2.27.13 @ 6:07AM
Expect a Contest here on Friday.
I'm just sayin.
John Navratil| 2.27.13 @ 9:29AM
Life of Pi is one of those rare films which grows in its contemplation. I can't think of a single film I have seen in the last several years (there weren't that many) which bore any further contemplation.
SUBVET| 2.27.13 @ 11:46AM
I want the real deal..............I want to see Heston driving a real chariot not some computer generated POS.
John Navratil| 2.27.13 @ 10:35PM
I liked "Die Hard", too!
Seek| 2.27.13 @ 2:29PM
"The Reader" (2008), which won Kate Winslet an Oscar for Best Leading Actress, is also one of those films that will trigger hours-long conversations.
John II| 2.28.13 @ 4:44PM
Should be "grow," not "grows," and "their," not "it." The antecedent of the relative pronoun in that kind of syntax is the plural "films," not the anemic "one."
But I have come here to get away from grading student essays. Where's the Contest?
Woodrow| 3.1.13 @ 11:38AM
John II, you may be a teacher, but clearly not an English teacher. "...one...which grows.." is correct. Also, the use of "its" is proper.
All the best to you
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:06PM
Actually, no, Woody. The phrase "one of the/those" implies more than one and is therefore plural. You may be confusing the phrase with "only one of the." Thus:
Tuberculosis is one of the diseases that HAVE long histories in many parts of the world.
But:
John II is the only one of the teachers who HAS degrees in English as well as classics.
John Navratil| 3.2.13 @ 8:21AM
I find again that I must beg the privilege of being understood; although I don't know why. If you find my English insufferable, I invite you to quit reading it as I have abandoned Purp, Jack London, and Arnie for the same reason.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 12:17AM
You abandoned Purp and Jack and Arnie because of their ENGLISH??? What about their lefty smugness and intellectual dishonesty?
"Sometimes I think I will just go mad" (Groucho Marx quoting Greta Garbo, 1929)
Ronsch| 2.27.13 @ 6:24PM
Bwahahahaha!!!!! So the tiger, as a mythos character (there we go with an anamorphic view wild/semi-tame creature) does not eat the kid on day4....
Bob Grant| 2.27.13 @ 7:46PM
I heard there will be a sequel: Chum(s)
A young Aborigines boy befriends a school of Great White Sharks. The bond grows stronger as he romps in the waters with his newly found friends until that fateful day when he cuts himself on his wakeboard.
Paul McGrath| 2.27.13 @ 10:49PM
But it is a matter of choice, Mr. Bowman.
It is. And perhaps that is why it is true.
homme nike air max BW | 2.28.13 @ 1:50AM
Just out of the mesmerizing shot, as it were, in the beautifully rendered Life of Pi, there www.shoxinfr.com/nike-shox-r6-c-11.html is more than a hint of the kind of flip postmodernism that thinks such questions are meaningless.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 2:31PM
.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 2:31PM
.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 2:31PM
.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 2:30PM
Wow. 9 Comments. Give this guy a Raise, Tyrrell.
Welcome, my friends. Once again, Friday has rolled around, and it's time to leave the Humdrum, and the Left's Noise Machine, in the Rearview Mirror.
This guy has been in his 2nd Term for 5 Minutes, and EVERYTHING is Hitting the Fan, at the same time.
The Lies have increased Exponentially. The Media does their Stories with their hands over their Eyes, their Ears, and their Mouths. Chris Mathews does his Show - Naked - covered in Hand Lotion, and the GOD of Liberal Media - Bob Woodward - has just been buried, up to his head, in the desert, next to a Fire Ant Hill, for DARING to do what used to be The Height Of Patriotism in the Liberal World.
He spoke Truth to Power.
Which brings us to our First Analogy of the Weekend.
The Untouchables.
John II| 2.28.13 @ 4:51PM
Should be "do," not "does." The word "media" is plural of "medium." On the other hand, the media these days are collectively brain-dead and univocal, so maybe the singular is appropriate.
Wait! I'm here! Finally, I have found the Contest. After searching high and low, and following up on misdirections. Back later.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 11:44AM
Really, John II ?
Goldwater Girl| 2.28.13 @ 2:35PM
What's the quote? Never get into an argument(AKA pissing match) with someone who buys ink by the barrel. My money is on Woodward! All the young pricks working in the WH will be rolled by the old Pro
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 2:58PM
Like I said, Bob Woodward has done the Unthinkable. He's told the Truth about the whole "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" that is the Story being told by President Pathological Liar, concerning the Sequestration. Woodward opened his Mouth and "That which must never be spoken" fell out. "Obama's Lying". And, now he must be Punished.
Al Capone (Obama) stands before an assemblage of his Henchmen. (The MSM) Holding a Bat in his hands as he addresses these men.
"A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins." Whereby he bashes that man's head in.
That man is Bob Woodward.
By exposing the Criminal Activity of Capone's (Obama's) Organization, he has broken the Code of Silence, and, even now, is being bashed in the head, via Capone's (Obama's) Bat. (The MSM)
Joellen| 3.1.13 @ 4:14PM
Very good Tim - though Woodward is just the first defector we've witnessed being bashed in by obama. How many "civilians" has he done that to since he's entered politics!
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:54PM
FINALLY!
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 8:10AM
Tim, I see that, at this late date, no one has complimented your effort to create a suitable analogy for this week's contest. I wonder why? Are they afraid of the Judge? Everyone knows you are Pretty, so maybe they are afraid of offending you? That can't be the reason. We all know that complimenting your ... fine ... outstanding ... wonderful ... thoughtful ... creative ... work of art will result in their winning The Contest. Well, anyway, and all that stuff, since I want to win, I thought you done good.
And remember, when judging time comes, I renamed my gelding "Tim" in your honor.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 8:14AM
I intentionally ignored Joellen's woeful attempt at complimenting your work. She didn't include all of the necessary wonderments for your talent to qualify as a real compliment. Thus, strike her from the Judge's list.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 3:00PM
I'd like to take this time to thank AuH2O Girl for Fluckeing Me Up.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:58AM
Good job MineralWaterGirl. Keep it up.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 3:23PM
Now, nobody expects you to Top my Analogy. That's just never gonna happen, as I have an I.Q. of 148, and most of you don't even know what Day it is, half of the time.
The Rules are the same. (does anyone actually read this stuff?)
I've taken a Story out of the Ether, and put it to a Movie Analogy. Being as these have become Open Line Fridays, feel free to use any Story that you want. Or you can latch on to mine.
It can take any form that you'd like: A Movie. A Play. A Poem. A Limerick. A regular ick. A Song. A Joke. Or, whatever it is that Hardcard sends in, every week.
If you can't think of anything? Just use the Forum as a kinda Chat Room, and have a Good Time.
We're Open all Weekend, until 5pm Sunday, whereby I'll hand out The Prizes, shortly thereafter.
This Week's Prizes are as Follows: The Winners will receive something from the Bag of Anna K's Abortions, that I got from the people at The Guinness Book of World Records.
The Losers will get the Used Condoms that have been collected, over the years, on the ground next to the Dumpster outside of the 711, where she lives. There's plenty to go around, so I don't want any Pushing or Shoving.
Good Luck. Good Hunting. And, be careful out there.
Drunken Sailor| 2.28.13 @ 4:24PM
"and most of you don't even know what Day it is, half of the time."
This pearl coming from a man who starts Friday's contest on Thursday?
You mispelled anal
John II| 2.28.13 @ 4:57PM
You misspelled "misspelled." This does not bode well for the Contest. Now stop distracting me while I work on my entry.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:06PM
I thought that WAS your Entry.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 2:45PM
I wish that my urologist would have done likewise this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sixgun| 3.1.13 @ 2:38AM
Than you TLP... since I'm the newby here I think this week I'll just buy some popcorn and a soda and watch the action from the stands till I get the gist of it all. I'll probably jump in there next week.
R Martin| 3.1.13 @ 9:30AM
That would be a mistake; the judges are always easy on rookies. And don't be put-off by that show-off Constantine below; his stuff is ghost written by graduate assistants in the Womyns English Equality Now Studies Department at the University of Delaware.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 10:55AM
It keeps them from pursing their studies at Emory and becoming acolytes of the real Anna K.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 6:48AM
And for that, ACJ, the females at this website can only thank you. Anna, of banana fame, needs to be followed by no one.
Let the games continue.
Sixgun| 3.1.13 @ 11:50AM
Do people still live in Delaware? Didn't the progressives shut that state down years ago?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 12:28PM
We almost all work for Joe Biden on his plantation. Whenever we get uppitty, the Missus just sticks a double barrelled shotgun out the windows and lets go with both barrels, which helps to keep us all in line.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 2:35PM
Those "both barrels" are two more than her hubby has brain cells!!!!!!!!!
Joellen| 3.1.13 @ 4:01PM
Al, you quack me up, even more than Crazy Uncle Joe who probably told Jill,
"this is a big F....... deal, so dont shoot till you see the "white's" of their eyes". Cause no way is he going to be accussed of being a racist no sir, not the man who said his boy "is clean & articulate".
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:07PM
See that, Sixgun?
You're already in the lead.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 2:46PM
Nah, that was Detroit!!!!!!!!!!
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 11:49AM
Rickey Martin's right.
Go back and re-read the Rules and my Analogy.
It's a piece a cake.
Trying to figure it out by copying from these Human Equivilants of The Island of Misfit Toys, will only lead to trouble.
Welcome.
Just don't touch anything.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 6:50AM
Timmy, I told you to boil all your toys, clothing, especially your undies, and all other accoutrements. Then when folks come to play in your backyard, touching your stuff won't make them sick unto death. Now play nicely.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:39AM
6:50AM?
I thought the Strip Joints closed at 1.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:56AM
6Gun, you gotta drink more than soda to understand 82.3% of the comments here, including this one.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 11:57AM
Okay, here is the first/only thing that comes to my mind concerning this recent occurance.....that of Ceasar's [Woodward] murder[and proclamation of 'Et Tu, Brute'] by his fellow Roman and illegetimate son/friend, Brutus [Obama] :
[Wiki] "...Et tu, Brute?" (pronounced [ɛt ˈtuː ˈbruːtɛ]), meaning "Even you, Brutus?" (or 'You too, Brutus?') is a Latin phrase often used poetically to represent the last words of Roman dictator Julius Caesar to his friend Marcus Brutus at the moment of his assassination. However, there is no evidence that Caesar actually spoke these words, and the fame of the quotation is purely due to Shakespeare's using them in his play Julius Caesar. The quotation is widely used in Western culture to signify the utmost betrayal....[On March 15 (the Ides of March), 44 BC, Caesar was attacked by a group of senators, including Marcus Junius Brutus, Caesar's close friend. Caesar initially resisted his attackers, but when he saw Brutus, he supposedly spoke those words and resigned himself to his fate.Caesar's last words are not known with certainty and are a contested subject among scholars and historians alike. The phrase .....The phrase means "You too, child?" or "You too, young man?" but has commonly been interpreted as meaning "You too, my child?" ("Tu quoque, Brute, fili mi" in Latin) and taken as an indication that Brutus was Caesar's illegitimate son......"
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 12:01PM
Oh, and please donate the 'used condoms' to memory of Brutus' mom, okay??????????
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 12:10PM
S**t, I thought "Et tu Brute" was Caeser's response when Brutus aksed him how many biscuits he had for breakfast.
You misspelled illegitimate.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 12:31PM
I would have said you misspelled "aksed", but then I realized that you were using that dialect that Harry Reid is so fond of (regarding POTUS' ability to employ it at will).
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 12:44PM
Yeah, speaking of CU*TS [hey did I spell that correctly?], Moe:
'...Maddow: Scalia’s an Offensive 'Troll' ..MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow called Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia a “troll" on Thursday in response to his remark in Wednesday’s court hearing about the Voting Rights Act case.Scalia said the Act represents evidence of the “perpetuation of racial entitlement." Maddow viewed Scalia's words as suggesting that voting is something citizens are entitled to based on their race.The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook"I think he knows how that sounds, and that's the neat thing about being there in person,” Maddow told host Jon Stewart on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show.” She said she was at the court for the arguments. “You can see: oh, actually, he's a troll he’s saying this for effect."
Maddow said Scalia knew exactly what he was doing. "He knows it's offensive. He knows he's going to get a gasp from the court room, which he got. And he loves it." She compared Scalia to people who respond to blogs. "He's like the guy on your blog comment thread who is using the N-word — 'Oh, did I make you mad?” Maddow said. "When we're all shocked that he said something so blatantly offensive about the cornerstone of the Civil Rights Act, he's thinking: 'oh yeah, I did.'" .......'
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:10PM
Don't be so mad at her, O.F.
Remember..............................
She used to look like a woman.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 2:30PM
Yeah right.....just like the Homeland Security Chief, right???????????
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:22PM
Actually, that one ALWAYS looked like Butch, from The Little Rascals.
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 1:52PM
Oy Oldefarte, that one is too simple for me, I let TLP handle the light work.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 2:31PM
WHOOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP!!!!!!!!!
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 2:55PM
Sounds like an open can of WHOOP-Arse.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:24PM
I'm gonna Whoop your ass.
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 4:46PM
Are youse a turtle?
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:56PM
No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:10PM
A Holiday Inn without an Express makes the Ass less sweet (say the Turtles).
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 9:09AM
Top of the morning ACJ, you started my day with a guffaw. If Timmy has a contest on the Friday before the Fairhill Games and you can tear your arse away from your keyboard on the Saturday, please head on out to the race track and I will be obliged to buy youse a pint of Belhaven Ale.
Goldwater Girl| 2.28.13 @ 3:23PM
You misspelled Flucking
Goldwater Girl| 2.28.13 @ 3:38PM
I retrieved a collection of National Geographic mags from Arnie's garbage. Some are rather ragged, and downright sticky, if you know what I mean. I'd like to donate them to your cache of prizes, for some lucky winner. Who knows? He and Perp probably spent many evenings enjoying the contents.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 4:16PM
I'm setting aside one of Anna's Abortions for you, as we speak.
Congratulations.
Al Adab| 2.28.13 @ 4:10PM
Let me see, 3.14159 would make a great unemployment rate.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 4:16PM
I don't get it.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 4:17PM
Oh, wait.
Pi.
Clever.
Stkman| 2.28.13 @ 4:46PM
148 huh?
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 12:11PM
Life of Pi: about two minutes after the slice hits my plate.
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 12:44PM
Banana cream or Jack Daniels Pecan?
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 12:49PM
You have to ask?
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:12PM
Hair.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 12:52PM
Upper or lower??????????
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 4:32PM
Your talking to Tim, it's lower.
Drunken Sailor| 2.28.13 @ 4:25PM
Zing, and Al sneaks one in.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 4:19PM
I hope you people are reading my Intros.
They took me HOURS to write.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 4:40PM
I mean: Minutes.
Lots of Minutes.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:53AM
Seconds.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 4:38PM
Speaking of hours to write, here's my first entry:
With respect to the threats to Bob Woodward by the current administration, I am reminded of “Apocalypse Now”.
Think of Woodward as Col. Kurtz (Marlon Brando), the West Point and Harvard grad being “groomed for one of the top slots in the corporation” (he was part of the reporter team that helped develop and break the story of the Watergate break-in, cemented his reputation with Bob Casey’s comatose confessions in Iran-Contra, and overall was an icon of journalism at American’s other liberal paper of record, the Washington Post).
Then, he volunteers to write a book about the conduct of Obama’s military operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, and begins to depart, ever so slightly from the orthodoxy. The Joint Chiefs of the Left try to bring him back into the fold; instead, he writes “The Price of Politics”, which blames both Republicans and Obama for failing to reach an agreement for deficit reduction.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 4:40PM
While this was considered even a graver insult to Dear Leader, as the book was released on 091112, not much attention was paid to it, due to multiple embassies being besieged by mobs that day, some chanting “Obama, Obama, we are all Osama”. Four government employees are killed in Benghazi, Libya; including the first US ambassador murdered since 1979, and a heated re-election campaign was going on.
Still, Woodward still wouldn’t jump back into the boat, and instead crossed the border and joined a ragtag Montagnard army, occasionally serving as a panelist on Fox News Sunday.
I would cast David Brock of Media Matters in the role of Capt. Willard, made famous by lefty icon Martin Sheen. He is given his mission to terminate Kurtz (Woodward) with extreme prejudice by Col. Lucas (Gene Sperling in the Harrison Ford role), General Corman (the J.D. Spradling role would be David Axelrod) and Jerry the CIA man (Brennan in the role played by Jerry Ziesmer.
Willard is taken up river on a Patrol Boat piloted by Chief John Kerry (who served in Viet Nam, by the way; and the memory of going up river into Cambodia is seared, seared in his memory), with the spaced out surfer L.B. Johnson (Hagel), Clean (Van Jones) and Chef (Susan Rice).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 4:41PM
As they journey up river, they encounter a bizarre cast of characters. First, they are given cover to get past a dangerous VC held village along the river by Col Kilgore (Biden,who gives his famous speech ”Do you hear that! Do you hear that! It’s a shotgun, son. Nothing else in the world sounds like that!. I love the sound of a shotgun in the evening. You know, one day my wife heard a sound outside the house-Blam!Blam! Both barrels. It sounds like-victory.).
They catch a USO show en route, but instead of playboy center fold girls dancing, Michelle Obama comes out and gives medals to soldiers who held their fire when shooting might have been appropriate.
At DoLong Bridge, they encounter government bureaucracy at its finest, where drugged out mentally ill soldiers of Obama shoot .50 machine guns and 40mm grenades at NRA members trapped in the wire.
A sampan representing the American economy is interdicted, and the occupants slaughtered when one of the children suggests that cutting taxes might help bring about prosperity.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 4:42PM
Tea party activists led by Glen Beck assault and kill Clean, and Chef is chased back into the boat by a tiger (which represents China).
As the boat pulls into the riverside temple, Alex Jones appears as a harlequin, warning of the dangers and evil ahead. As Willard moves through the throngs of warriors, he sees former Democrat pollster/stategist Pat Caddell, who had been sent on a previous mission, and now had sided with Woodward/Kurtz.
Woodward meets with Brock, and calls him an errand bill sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill that’s due for a free press. Brock is held prisoner by the guns taken from his own guards while he was advocating for gun control, and the head of Susan Rice is thrown before him. He escapes, writes a snarky e-mail, and has Obama call down Predator drones on the place.
All the while, as the temple erupts into fiery explosions, the Doors can be heard playing “the End”.
Drunken Sailor| 2.28.13 @ 5:04PM
Whew Albert, You have outdone yourself!
John II| 2.28.13 @ 5:04PM
Snap, snap--I think. Actually, Al, I'm speechless. Haven't even started my entry and I'm already upstaged. Better put it off 'til tomorrow.
CJW| 2.28.13 @ 7:23PM
Great work, Albert.
The Heart of Darkness redone as Apocalypse Now. Good movie, and you can't go wrong with the Doors. To follow up on you analogy:
Casey's price for the comatose confession is that he, Casey, would someday call in the favor. The favor is that Woodward had to atone for the smear job on Nixon by exposing whomever Casey wanted. It is Obama.
As you point out, Woodward described Obama in "Obama's War" and the "Price of Politics" as a lazy, not smart, political hack.
And now, Woodward is telling the truth, as did Sen Baucus and others, that it was Obama's idea for a sequester. We have descended to the level where this is considered a brave act for a journalist to honestly report what happened.
Joellen| 3.1.13 @ 4:10PM
CJW - where you been? Missed you!
Al, are you sure obama doesnt have somewhere in this scenerio "dancing queens" hidden from michelle?
CJW| 3.1.13 @ 7:56PM
Hello, Joellen. Busy couple of days. Missed you too.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:13PM
Perhaps Hagel, done waterskiing behind the PBR, weaves seductively before Barry as Jim Morrison croons "♪♫Weird Scenes♪♫Behind the Goldmine"".
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:44AM
Is it Me?
Or, do your posts get just a wee bit more "whimsical" when you come back from Happy Early Bird Special Hour?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 9:58AM
It is you
But they do
Al Adab| 2.28.13 @ 10:00PM
Wow Albert, can't compete with that one. I was thinking of the budget problem as something along the line of President Obama as buck Owens singing "I've got a tiger by the tail".
Have a great weekend, it way too late at night for me.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 11:26PM
Tiger by the Tail also works for where Mr. Woodward finds himself regarding the President, as well as ties in with "The Life of Pi". Very Clever.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 8:54AM
I think Al is getting the hang of this in a esoteric kind of way. I know when I'm outgunned so I'm going to watch the show.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:27PM
Woman.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 3:30PM
Vagina.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:18PM
Wow.
That was Fantastic. But it could've been Perfect.
I blame myself.
I forgot to include the reminder of the Utter Necessity of trying to include a Kiss to my Ass, in your Analogies, if you want any chance of actually Winning.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 2:22PM
I save that each week for the wrap up/ acceptance speech.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:28PM
That's true.
I forgot.
Never mind.
Bob Grant| 3.1.13 @ 7:42PM
And where does Kirsten Powers fit into the story, Al? Keep it clean, please.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:16PM
Perhaps she would have been one of the USO dancers preempted by Michelle (♪♫Oh Kirsten P ♪♫ Oh Kirsten P ♪♫ Oh Kirsten P Won't You Believe Me♪♫Kirsten P).
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:46AM
I rest my case.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:47AM
The Correct Question is: "Where do I fit into Kirsten Powers?"
With "I" being ME, not you.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 10:15AM
Perhaps my request to keep it clean should have been more general.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 11:51AM
In my own defence, I feel obligated to remind you that you were talking to Albert, at the time.
Not me.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 3:18PM
I'll concede the legal technicality.
Kwan| 3.1.13 @ 3:41PM
Very good Albert. And for all you Aircalvary afficinados "thump", "thump", "thump","thump", it's Ride of the Valkyries time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKaYOW9zMoY
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:58PM
Mr. Kwan.
Welcome aboard.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 10:35PM
...Romeo Foxtrot Shall We Dance...
Kwan| 3.2.13 @ 9:09AM
Outstanding, Red Team, outstanding! Getcha a case of beer for that one.
Stkman| 2.28.13 @ 4:50PM
If napalm is the equivalent of Obama's ass here's my short entry.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
Simple, Just for you purp!
Idea stolen from A.C. jr.
Stkman| 2.28.13 @ 5:07PM
My analogy the story of Benedict Arnold. In this sick scenario Washington is played by Obama, the patriots are the main stream media and Benedict Arnold is none other than the esteemed Mr. Woodwards, or is that steamed?
Since I'm truly a dumbass and have to remain on a lower level to communicate with Purp I smell like whats on the bottom of your shoe liberal, we will keep it short. Anyway, you all know the story.
Washington, not having been able to route the British and only have minimal success has only worsened relations with Benedict Arnold by not giving him the full and complete access he wants, to everything.
For this slight, Arnold will commit the ultimate act of treason agfainst not only Washington, but against the patriots as well. He will tell the truth, and he will tell it to the British(all of us).
Now for the twist. Remember in the back chapter of your Bible where it talks about good being evil and evil being good, dark being light and light being dark? Think about this if you will. Has this country ever known a President as honest as George Washington? Has this country ever kn own a President as dishonest as Barrack Hussein Obama? So now tell me what times do we live in?
Thats a Texas zip code Tim.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 5:34PM
It's the Bizarro World American Revolution-an excellent start for the analogies.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:31PM
You may be a Dumbass (And, far be it from me to argue with one of my Contestants) but that was Good.
Well done, Dumbass.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:32PM
What's a Texas Zip Code?
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 4:34PM
A Texas zip code is all but the one the other 49 states use.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 4:33PM
That would be Mr.Dumbass please.
TLP| 2.28.13 @ 7:21PM
Go to bed.
Save some for the WEEKEND.
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 10:29PM
Something a little lighter than the heavyweight (in a good way) entries this far, herewith a commentary on Moochelle's war on high school kids. Sung to the tune of Surfer Girl by The Beach Boys here's "Big Butt Girl".
Big Butt Moochelle
Big Butt Girl
Lunch time now is all awhirl.
Why’d you mess with lunch time, Big Butt Girl?
You took out the good stuff, Big Butt Girl.
I have seen you on T. V.
Your big butt’s enough for three.
‘Cause you had great lunches, Big Butt Girl.
Big Butt Girl, Big Butt Girl.
Bet you graze the buffet all day
While your big butt grows.
(Oh)
Why you make our kids eat health food, Heaven only knows.
So I say from me to you
You could make kids dreams come true
Let them eat like you do, Big Butt Girl.
Oh yeah, Big Butt Girl, our smarmy Big Butt Girl.
(Smarmy)
Oh yeah, Big Butt Girl, our smarmy Big Butt Girl.
(Smarmy)
Oh yeah, Big Butt Girl, our smarmy Big Butt Girl.
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 10:32PM
Tim, I left a note for you over at the Origin of a Lie with a little comment on the prizes from last week.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 7:01PM
I just went there.
I didn't see it.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 9:55PM
At 4:26.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:49AM
Roger that.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 9:31AM
Who's Roger?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 10:51PM
...and we'll have ♪♫ fun,fun,fun♪♫ til Obama takes our freedom away♪♫...
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 10:58PM
How do you do that musical note thing?
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 11:28PM
♪♫ I wish they all could be ♪♫ Fox News Channel girls ♪♫
I am so impressed with myself.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 11:32PM
Now you know how Brian Wilson felt producing "Pet Sounds" (if I can only figure out how to post the sound of a theriman, like in "Good Vibrations").
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:22PM
I recommend you ask Anna K.
Oh, wait.
I thought you said: Good Vibrators.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:44PM
To KJ's Ode to Michelle? I give you Sir Mix Alot.
I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can’t deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough ‘Cause you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she’s wearing I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring Oh baby, I wanna get with you And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got makes me so horny Ooh, Rump-o’-smooth-skin You say you wanna get in my Benz? Well, use me, use me ‘Cause you ain’t that average groupie I’ve seen them dancin’ To hell with romancin’ She’s sweat, wet, Got it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette I’m tired of magazines Sayin’ flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!) Tell ‘em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!) Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back! (LA face with Oakland booty) Baby got back!
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 5:08PM
Seriously? Rap? Seriously? Ladies and Gentleman, you know our culture is TRULY shot in the a** now. I may never recover from this. I mean, literally, never. Agh!
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 7:02PM
Methinks thou dost protest, too much.
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 11:32PM
♪♫ He's our little black Pres. ♪♫ We don't know where he's from ♪♫
R Martin| 3.1.13 @ 6:58PM
This could be expanded on. Will you do it or should I?
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:32PM
I think the honor should be yours. After all, your gonna be the host at the get-together this summer.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:33PM
When is this cheap-a** site gonna get an edit button!!!! You're, not your. Damn!
R Martin| 3.1.13 @ 9:30PM
The ardor for our get together seems to have waned. Whisky talk, perhaps; I haven’t heard much about it recently. Perhaps Tim and Pecos feel insufficiently prepared for their “I Feel Pretty” duet (are they afraid we’ll all see how pretty they really are?), Appleby hasn’t responded to my offer of a free bus ticket and maybe Tina B doesn’t actually have that diamond tiara after all. In any case, my offer of a venue still stands, but I’m not going to baby you lot so that you just walk into a fait accompli. Someone has to do the organizing. Albert, CJW and I are willing to do some heavy lifting, but who’s going to take names and set a date?
I’m working on “Deuce Coupe”.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 10:36PM
It's not for the faint of heart.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 7:39AM
Maybe I am the only retiree, but I have all the time in the world, so to speak. I can also plan parties quite nicely, since it was my major at all seven colleges. No comments please.
Seriously Ricky, my tiara is plastic but the rhinestones are very real. My old party dresses don't fit, but I can find a new one. If nominated I will accept and LouLou and auh2o will help, and I am saving $ for the flight. Call on me teacher?
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:53AM
Did she say: Diamond Tiara?
Are ya sure she didn't say that she had Diarrhea?
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 8:59AM
p.s. - As long as it's not the last week of June or the first week of July?
I'm a Commin.
And, I'm bringing my Hot Wife, so make sure you've all got your Heart Pills with ya.
And, seein as how this is Your Idea, and Your Scared Straight Farm, it's up to you to supply the Updates.
You're starting to sound like O blame a.
R Martin| 3.2.13 @ 10:50AM
If I could I would attach KennesawJack's little notes. Here's the expansion:
Well I’m not bragging babe so don’t put me down
But I’ve just pulled the biggest con in town
My opponents now they don’t even try
Cause they know I can really falsify
I’m your little black pres, you don’t know where I’m from.
Just a little black pres from who knows where
Evolved as a pure Marxist doctrinaire
I got a wife who’s big but let me clarify
She weighed a hundred and forty back in junior high
I’m your little black pres, you don’t know where I’m from.
We’re both ivy leaguers but we won’t say
How we got in or why they let us stay
We’re glorified and we’re each adored
While that Woodward putz is now deplored
I’m your little black pres, you don’t know where I’m from.
Amid Democrat chants and union cheers
I’ll be up to my tricks for four more years
Welfare queens say, “merci beaucoup”
And there’s one more thing, I’ve got the press corps too.
I’m your little black pres, you don’t know where I’m from.
Yes, your little black pres, you don’t know where I’m frommmmm.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 11:17AM
It doesn't get any better than that! You need to send that to Paul Shanklin, like right now. SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:05PM
Nice touch, little Rickey, and tell KJ that I saw his Prize List Manifesto.
Apparently, my Underpants finding their way into certain people's Mailboxes is something that the Prize Committee will have to consider, at their next meeting.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 11:35AM
RM;
As the Beach Boys background singers sang in "Be True to Your School":
♪♫Rah Rah Rah Rah ♪♫ Sis Boom Bah
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:01PM
Be True to Your School was My, and Diane's song, in 1975.
She was the Prettiest Girl in the 10th Grade, my First Love, my Senior Prom Date, and the School Nymphomaniac all rolled into one.
It was the best Two Years of my life.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:38AM
Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 11:29PM
I cut and paste from a saved Word document. If you start with them or use too many, though, the spam blocker won't let you post, as they are not English language/Roman alphabet characters.
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 11:35PM
I found an easier way. Hold the Alt key down, press 1 3 on your numbers pad (not the top row of the keyboard) then release for a single note. Hold the Alt key down and press 1 4 and release for a double note.
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 11:41PM
♪♫ Ba-Ba-Ba, BaBABarack ♪♫ Ba-Ba-Ba, BaBaBarack ♪♫ You've got us cryin' from your lyin', sobbin' from your robbin', ♪♫ Ba-Ba-Ba, BaBaBarack ♪♫
What the hell is going on here???
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 11:50PM
...God Only Knows ♪♫ What He'll Do to ♪♫Our Land...
Albert Constantine Jr.| 2.28.13 @ 11:51PM
(and one which fell from the charts 110612)
Help Me ♪♫Romney, yeah
Get Him Out of Our House♪♫...
KennesawJack| 2.28.13 @ 11:59PM
Ain't that the truth.
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 12:17PM
KJ, that may work on your PC keyboard, but the MAC has no alt key.
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 12:46PM
My laptop has no numeric keypad.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:24PM
My IPad only gets Porn.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 2:54PM
You mean your I-Pad only uploads porn starring some guy named Tim.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:46PM
I would never watch a Porn starring me.
Nobody would.
Trust Me.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 4:36PM
Who said anybody would watch it?
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:36AM
Moe would.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 9:33AM
Why did I know you were going to say that?
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 1:46PM
Those lyrics work with Van Morrison Brown Eyed Girl as well.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 7:17AM
KJ, I am almost in tears. Almost. I was the real Gidget. In my dreams. I have rewritten Surfer Girl many times over the years. But you have outdone all of my meager attempts. I am positively swaying as I sing along. Bravo.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 9:32AM
You need to watch that swaying stuff around Timmy, but many thanks for the compliment.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:09PM
Yeah, don't sway around me.
I don't wanna have to pick you up when you dislocate your Hip.
(That's for thinking you're the Senior Member of this Apple Dumpling Gang)
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:50AM
KJack sang
Using slang
Bout Michelle's food
Hey Dude
We've got KJack's back
When Blackhawks attack
BL in AK| 3.1.13 @ 2:08AM
Albert- That Apocaplyse Now stuff was amazing. How do you think Sean Flynn the role Dennis Hopper played would fit in? Just wondering.
KJ and AJ- A doo run run A do run run indeed!
Man o man the comp is stiff this weeknend and I ain't talking about sir melendez..
Need to find an image of The Edge and Randy Quaid together eh Tim?
Weather permitting I will have time to study for an entry
cheerz
BL
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 7:21AM
I used Alex Jones in the Dennis Hopper role (in the movie, the character describes himself as a photojournalist, in the original "Heart of Darkness", the character is described as a harlequin), as someone who spoke truths in a manner that he wasn't taken seriously.
BL in AK| 3.1.13 @ 2:10AM
Arf, Arf
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:25PM
Why do I think that you're eating one of your Sled Dogs?
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 1:47PM
Tastes like veal.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:10PM
Yeah, but I bet it Smells like Shit.
BL in AK| 3.2.13 @ 2:15PM
It is Iditarod weekend here in Anchortown so the air quality is definitely tinted
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 7:25AM
Now that we've worked the Beach Boys catalogue a bit, there's another Oldie but Goodie which comes to mind.
More than 50 years ago, Del Shannon had his break out number one hit with Runaway. With his vibraharp keyboard and his falsetto, he set out a string of hits in the US in the early 60s, and continued to score numerous hits in the UK while the British invasion had taken over America’s pop charts.
After Roy Orbison died in 1988 shortly after he released his album with The Traveling Wilburys; Tom Petty, George Harrison, Bob Dylan and Jeff Lynne were looking for another iconic figure from early Rock & Roll to replace him. They selected Del Shannon, though, shortly before he began to record and tour with them, he was found dead of a gun shot wound to the head. The wound was ruled self-inflicted, though his wife continues to maintain he was murdered.
I am sure that the Obama administration feels it would be instructive for Bob Woodward to reflect that despite having iconic status as a result of decades of achievement in your field, you can always be found dead as a result of a gunshot wound to the head.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 7:26AM
With that thought in mind (rather than a 9mm projectile), I’ve concocted the ditty below to the tune of one of Mr. Shannon’s lesser hits, “Hats Off to Larry”, which was the story of a jilted lover congratulating his former lover’s next flame, for breaking his ex’s heart:
Once we had a president,
His name it was Obama;
He tried to tear our country down--
and mire it in bad drama...
Hats off to Bobby,
He told the tru-u-uth,
Now they say he’s a has been
tweets David Plouffe
He said Barry told lies,
now they’ll make him CRY CRY CRY-Y
Now that Barry sent all his thugs to him.
Sperling says he’ll have regrets--
He’ll change his mind so place your bets
If you mess with us you gotta pay...
Hats off to Bobby,
Goodbye Career,
you spoke the truth of Barry
Now you must fear
He said Barry told lies,
now they’ll make him CRY CRY CRY-Y
Now that Barry sent all his thugs to him.
Hats off to Bobby,
He told the tru-u-uth,
Now they say he’s a has been
tweets David Plouffe
He said Barry told lies,
now they’ll make him CRY CRY CRY-Y
Now that Barry sent all his thugs to him
to hi-im
to hi-im
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 12:50PM
Gene Pitney: Early in the Morning; Town without Pity (DC?) and we can only hope for Ransom Stoddard, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence. With Liberty kidnapped... who will pay the ransom?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 1:10PM
My favorite Duke film...
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:28PM
My favourite Jimmy Stewart film...
How about those Steak Dinners, with a Beer and a piece of Pi, for a Dollar?
Nice.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 1:33PM
Served to you by Lee Marvin, after a trip to the floor...
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 3:04PM
Ransom Stoddard was tripped by Liberty Valance and it was Tom Donaphin's steak that hit the sawdust. Rather than watch two men try to kill each other over spilled sinew, Stoddard picked up the filet. Donaphin's kick into Strother Martin's open face when he said,"I'll pick it up Liberty", was one of the great cold-cocks in cinema.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:35AM
Albert's pearl
Lyings whirl
Round King O
Oh woe!
Albert done fine
With so little wine ...
SUBVET| 3.2.13 @ 11:16AM
Sounds like a Breitbart story.........
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 9:01AM
Tim,
It would appear that todays non contest has taken a muscal turn. Being that their will be prizes awarded I though I might remind you that per AS rules you should remind the contestants that no breasts, rear ends or words begining with F should be used during the awards ceremony.
Oh heck, what am I thinking. This crowd actually has respect for others, self control and dignity. Nevermind.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 9:07AM
Any moment, I expect TLP to inform us that he's posting while naked.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 10:10AM
For the life of me, I can't figure out how how he does it wearing a straight jacket. Just amazing!
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 10:14AM
Where the hell is Tim anyway. Surely he's had his meds by now?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 10:58AM
TLP is upbraiding Kaminsky on the main site, after he had the temerity to suggest the childhood obesity program headed up by an obnoxious overexposed chief executive has some positive aspects.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:32PM
Actually, I've got both kids home sick, today. So I'm a little behind.
But, I'm back, now. And, you might wanna go back and read all of my snarky comments.
By the way. Did I miss anything?
Has Hardcard asked for his Prizes, yet?
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 3:05PM
You dinna' miss a thing, Stkman wants to see youse flex your muscals.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 12:51PM
I always assumed that was the case.
Hardcard| 3.1.13 @ 9:51AM
What happened to the prize (trip) I won last contest. I've got to get out of town immediately obamao is releasing more prisoners today near my hut. I can't get a flight out either, the regime is firing the air traffic controlers. I'm starting to feel sick, and I can't get medical help the emergency people have been let go. The Navy has been disbanded by SOD chuck u hagel and everybody in my hood is speaking a foreign language, big sis has a first come first serve policy at our former boarder (no more boarder patrol). The attorney general eric the red has confiscated all our weapons and shipped them all to Bengahzi for redistribution as per fatuah,DCIA, j. ahmed hassan brennan, I'll have to take a cruise ship to get out, I hope they have drained all the fecal matter from the cabins. At this point, what difference does it make? Does it really (fecal) matter? I want my prize please! Can you drive me to the seaport, the buses have all been removed from service due to $24.25 per gallon fuel cost (gas or corn flavored deisel). Why is all our meat and meat by-products being shipped to market from Kentucky? Please get me the flucke out of here(her) pronto/tonto kemosabae. I'm starting to worry. Oh wait there's a knock at my door I'll touch base later.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 9:59AM
I would send FEMA to help, Hardcard, but they're all busy securing a beach so Chris Christie and the POTUS can talk a walk together-
Wait, do I hear Pat Boone singing somewhere in the background?
(♪♫On a Day♪♫Like Today♪♫We'll Pass the Time Away♪♫...)
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 10:14AM
I hear Obama has chosen a theme song for the GOP to use at their next convention. Frank Sinatra's "Ain't Life a kick in the Head".
I can hear Boehnor singing it now, buurrrp.
R Martin| 3.1.13 @ 10:23AM
It had better be a wiiiiiidddde beach.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 11:02AM
...and I am sure the Corps of Engineers, Department of Interior and various NJ state engineers are working together to truck in enough sand so that they can walk abreast...
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:36PM
If you see what I just wrote, 2 Comments above Hardcard's?
Tell me: Do I know Hardcard, or don't I?
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 1:50PM
Was the prize trip a cruise on the Carnival Triumph?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 1:54PM
Hardcard should get a Lifetime Achievement Award for Most Consistent.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 3:57PM
You got that right.
Where would The Contest be, without him?
Joellen| 3.1.13 @ 4:28PM
Al, in regards to Chris Christie walking with potus together, the very first song that came to my blonde head!
Music from Grease
Barrack singing "Born to hand jive baby"
Chistie responding "how low can you go"
But this is NOT my entry.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 5:11PM
But it wins, anyway.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:19PM
Perhaps it can be altered to:
"How wide can we subside".
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:05AM
A Blonde Italian?
Interesting.
Pecos Pete| 3.1.13 @ 10:12AM
Oh my, the Contest is already exceeding my low expectations. Except for MineralGirl and Hardcare who have raised their game, everyone else is just singing in the shower. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I'm gonna go cut some firewood. Or shoot some rattlesnakes. I'll be back when the Colonel opens the bar.
Al Adab| 3.1.13 @ 1:51PM
Too cold up there for the rattlesnakes yet. Maybe time for some spring dove hunting.
R Martin| 3.1.13 @ 10:51AM
Let’s get back to the real stuff here. Since we don’t know how the Woodward/Obama kerfuffle is going to evolve, my analogy reflects how I hope it will end.
It is taken from a favorite Three Stooges sketch (for Obama analogies I could probably stop there, but I won’t). Curly (Obama) is being foolish, obnoxious and is messing about with things he should not. Moe (Woodward) frowns and gives Curly a sharp biff to the belly. This causes Curly to double over with his mouth wide open going, “Ooooow.” Whereupon Moe sticks a light bulb (incandescent) into the gaping maw and bonks it closed with a sharp upward rap below the chin. Curly stands wide eyed in surprise and wonderment, knowing his mouth has got him into real trouble this time.
Obama, of course, is mostly mouth, and it will surely be his undoing. Here is what Ben Franklin said about Obama in Poor Richard’s Almanac: “Here comes the orator! With his flood of words and his drop of reason.”
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 11:00AM
Nyuk!Nyuk!Nyuk!Nyuk!
Sixgun| 3.1.13 @ 11:58AM
I'm trying to think, but nothing happens!
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:37PM
Maybe you need to stop sitting down?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 1:56PM
The lighting of the drinking lamp often inspires many contestants towards their best work.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 3:32PM
Lighting the drinking lamp implies someone turned it off. A guy could get hurt doing that.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 3:36PM
Sometimes when the bottles run out, they filter the sterno in the lamp through a slice of bread and drink that, requiring an occasional reignition.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 3:54PM
You forgot to mix in the fruit punch.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:16AM
Ricky nailed
King o unveiled
Ricky spoke
King o's a joke
Ricky wrote
King o was smote
Ricky swore
King o, never more!
Goldwater Girl| 3.1.13 @ 11:11AM
AC & KJ,
Truly prolific songwriters! I feel like I'm watching a session with Merle Haggard and George Jones, when they let the whiskey do the talking.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 11:37AM
If Obama Don't Kill Me ♪♫ His Economy Will ♪♫...
Sixgun| 3.1.13 @ 12:00PM
Ahhhh... Merle the Pearl. What am I gonna do with the rest of my life?
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 12:26PM
Join Drunken Sailor on the whisky river, it don't run dry.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 12:48PM
Hey Moe, what happened to Larry and Curly???????
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 1:57PM
In reply to Oldefarte, I refer the gentleman to a post by RMartin at 10.51 above.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 12:54PM
Come on in, we provide the inflatable tubes, keep the sunscreen out of the river. It make it taste funny.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 11:16AM
There once was a thing called the press,
And there the facts they would address.
But then came the king,
and the press lost its zing.
The lies became truth,
For there were no more sleuths.
Not CBS, NBC or even ABC,
Had one ounce of dignity.
They were in it together the press and the king,
Together the lies they would all sing.
A chorus of evil sang so loud,
Destroying America, boy weren't they proud!
Til one day came when the old sage said enough!
I'm sick of your lies, you ain't so tough.
I'll expose to the truth to those who will hear it,
And the liberals they couldn't stand to bear it.
We will do what we do they said to each other,
We'll threaten and lie about our brother.
But the brother was older and wise,
He had experience dealing with lies.
He said to the king, remember watergate,
I think the same may just be your fate.
Your day is near oh mighty one,
For your regn of lies is coming undone.
Soon you'll be in the old ash heap,
Baying and bawing along with your sheep.
You seem to have not noticed while so busy lying,
Some of the sheep, they had become lions.
We don't fear you and down you will fall,
All because we heard truth's call.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 11:23AM
Snap!Snap!
Joellen| 3.1.13 @ 4:31PM
STKMAN - LOVE IT!
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:01AM
Yes, a triple snap from the aged one. STKMan, duuuude!
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:11AM
What do ya mean?
Albert only snapped twice.
And, if you meant yourself? I don't think you know who you're dealing with, around here.
You're not even in the Upper Half of the "Most Oldest".
That would be Stkman's Jokes.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 7:01AM
Stkman
Can
Write
Alright
Prize
Surprise!
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 11:18AM
Oooh, I can't wait to see what's gonna be in the mailbox Saturday!
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:41PM
Obviously, you're waiting for one of those Penis Pumps.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 11:19AM
I found out where Tim is, he's at the Vatican making a push to be the next Pop.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 11:19AM
Pope
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 11:24AM
He'll ask for Pope, and take Pop (which would at least allow him to run around and ask everyone "Who's Your Daddy?").
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:40PM
I wanna be the next Popeye.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 1:50PM
You have to eat more Olive Oil.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 9:18PM
Don't you mean Olive Oyl?
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:13AM
I think he means - Olivia Newton Oil.
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 9:15AM
Didjiz hear what happened when Moses went to Mount Olive? Popeye beat the crap out of him.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 9:35AM
Oy! Best post on the thread, Moe!
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 3:01PM
You still owe me and Tuesday has come and gone. Bythe way, some cute little asian girl borrowed my penis pump. Something about her husband and his short cummings.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:01PM
And, let me be the first to say: She appreciates it.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 4:43PM
Wimpy, or is it Limpy?
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 5:03PM
Gimpy.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:02AM
Too funny. Love you both.
Li'l Jen| 3.1.13 @ 11:45AM
So many amazing entries already! I just finished watching Season 1 of the original “House of Cards,” starring Ian Richardson and Susannah Harker. As far as analogies go, this is low-hanging fruit.
Passed over for a promotion after the recent general election, Francis Urquhart decides to undermine his own party, top open the way for his own rise to power. He leaks scandals, both real and contrived, and is helped in his ambitions by Mattie Storin, a young newspaper writer eager to prove herself as a hard-hitting journalist, whom he manipulates and seduces, with the support of his loyal wife. Star-struck young Mattie is unable to link any corruption to Urquhart, even when the evidence is right in front of her. Nevertheless, Mattie begins to uncover too much, and suddenly finds herself threatened at home, her stories spiked, and then out of a job. Being the fearless seeker of truth that she is, she pursues the story in spite of her lack of employment, and eventually concludes that Urquhart has been at the heart of the scandal after all. She finds him at the tower of the Houses of Parliament and confronts him, hoping he will deny her allegations, and that they might continue their affair. His cover blown, Urquhart instead throws her off of the tower to her death.
Li'l Jen| 3.1.13 @ 11:45AM
Need I even explain who the real-life characters are in this analogy? The only difference is that while Urquhart vowed to take revenge on members of his own party, Obama has vowed to take revenge on the entire country.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 11:48AM
Perhaps Mr. Woodward should take to wearing a parachute whenever he ventures above the 3rd floor in the near future.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 3:04PM
Or maybe a diaper, so he won't get youknowhated again!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:44PM
I smell bags of Abortions.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:03AM
Yuck.
Hardcard| 3.1.13 @ 1:14PM
The guys at my door earlier were identified as IRS agents, they informed me that as of today, the IRS will be incharge of all activities in my community, and all my personal actions and thoughts. The IRS agents are heavily armed with automatic weapons and uniformed in black jumpsuits, hob-nail boots, and red arm patches with SS/IRS insignias, they informed they will be will be returning soon to advise me on future relocation services and medical panels, in my new community, as required by Group Leader SS/IRS, to inventory all my property, as to better safeguard said property. Were the hell are you? I need to get on that prize winning cruise now!!!! When I asked the agents why this was happening now they informed me , that it is required by our DEAR LEADER and Chief Community Organizer.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 1:36PM
That sounds like a great community being organized for you; perhaps they could call it Brooklynwald.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:04AM
Snap.
Goldwater Girl| 3.1.13 @ 1:14PM
He should also stay away from the restaurant where Andrew Breitbart was last served. RIP Breitbart!
Li'l Jen| 3.1.13 @ 4:24PM
I'm glad you mentioned Breitbart. I wanted to submit something in his memory for the contest--set to the tune of "The Ballad of the Green Berets," here is "Ballad of the Great Breitbart" below:
Li'l Jen| 3.1.13 @ 4:24PM
Fighting drudges from the press
Fearless men who never rest
Men who mean just what they write
The brave men of the Breitbart sites
At a rally, or in a pub
On rollerblades, or in his tub
Andrew Breitbart always fought
The powerful and corrupt
Taught to see through the narrative
That media lackeys always give,
Those blatant lies he tore apart
Courage deep, from the Great Breitbart
At a rally, or in a pub
On rollerblades, or in his tub
Andrew Breitbart always fought
The powerful and corrupt
A year ago we lost our mate
Our dear Andrew met his fate
He had lived for those oppressed
But leaves us now with this request
Take that cell phone in your hand
Use it all across the land
Uncover injustice everywhere
And you’ll know that Breitbart’s here
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 4:42PM
Nice!! Watch out Albert a rookie is gunning for ya.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 5:13PM
Outdamnstanding!!!(says this Daddy of a Green Beret - I know. I'm braggin' a little. I'm allowed.}
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 7:06PM
Oooorah!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:23PM
Barry Sadler looks down and smiles:
Two hundred comments ♪♫ here today
but Li'l Jen♪♫ wins the Green Beret
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:37PM
Oooorah! redux.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:21AM
Wait a minute.
Green Beret.
Is your kid in the Army or the Girl Scouts?
Li'l Jen| 3.1.13 @ 9:23PM
That's way better than one of TLP's prizes!
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:18AM
What are sayin?
That you didn't appreciate the Sandpaper Panties I sent you?
Or, was it the Vibrating Rotten Banana?
(Tough Crowd)
Li'l Jen| 3.2.13 @ 11:23PM
Just thinking that the Green Beret would look better on the shelf than the bags of abortions.
**shudder**
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:36PM
Li'l Jen, I sang along with every word, marching around all the while. Snap to you my Li'l patriot sister.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 6:52AM
Snap! cycle, multiple. Li'l Jen ain't no rookie anymore. She's upped the ante.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 5:26PM
PP - Lil Jen was NEVER a rookie:)
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 1:49PM
Remember to go back and re-read the Comments.
They're Hilarious.
And by: Go back and re-read the Comments?
I mean Mine.
And by: They're Hilarious?
I mean Mine.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 2:17PM
There once was a lad from Nantucket,
Wait, wrong forum.
Ok my pathetic attempts at today's contest are below. Keep in mind it is harder than it looks to write a clean Limerick.
There once was a lad named Obama,
Abandoned by daddy and momma,
Insecure as hell,
Narcissistic as well,
He fills our life with much drama.
There once was a lady named Michelle,
Whose bream was as broad as a whale,
She lectured the nation,
While yet on another vacation
Her pampered life must be hell.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 2:29PM
T’was a blogger they called Drunken Sailor
Said the First Lady’s butt’s big as a Whale or
Made fun of her husband
We can’t ask him because men
Came and took him to the jailer
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 2:45PM
Showoff!
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 3:17PM
We enjoy reading Al Constantine Jr.
A wit, Marine, and a copper
Prose written so well
Some of us say oh hell
I'll try my hand to ...........OOOOOOOPPPPPS
SPLASH
GURGLE
BLORP
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 3:23PM
Nice, now be a man and drink your way to the shoreline.
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 4:59PM
Thanksh for the inflatable tube, it shaved my shorry arshe. Long way to shoreline, sho mucsch Irish and scotsch uhhhhrrpp. I need a beer. Shorry AL, canna' remeber the resht I wanna write.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 3:40PM
I'm flattered, Moe (and maybe once everyone stops jumping on and stomping on me on the ground, I might recover my regular shape and not be so flat).
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:05PM
Finally.
A Moe I can relate to.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 5:16PM
I'm a little worried about the "inflatable tube" part.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 5:24PM
I'm more concerned with the shaving his arse part. Not enough whiskey in the river to erase that visual.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 7:10PM
He can make one out of all of Anna's used Condoms that he'll soon be receiving in the Mail.
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 9:19AM
Oy DS, if my arse were shaved I shan't drop my drawers and walk backwards. Someone might mistake me for (enter name of your favourite troll) and offer me a cigar.
Oldefarte| 3.1.13 @ 3:06PM
I simply give up......my PBS radio station is now playing RAP!!!!!!!!!!!
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 3:20PM
Be concerned when your local oldies station starts playing vintage rap.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:06PM
"My PBS Radio"?
You are an Olde Farte.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 3:18PM
There was was a man named Constantine,
Who decided to better the sailor.
With the wit of a teen
raised in a trailer,
He wrote words that rhymed,
and jingles that chimed.
He used all his charm and all his wit,
but couldn't outdo the sailor.
The sailor in turn took his turn,
of putting Al in his place.
I'll give him a lesson he can learn,
I'll throw a limric right in his face!
With his pen he did write,
Under the glow of a drinking light.
And as he wrote he thought of his mentor,
And how he's been banned part of this winter.
And thinking of his friend Mr. TLP,
It occured to him that he needed to pee.
Big Al and the Sailor went at it all night,
Yet neither seemed to posess the might,
Required to win by Saturday night.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 3:28PM
You spent a lot of time reading outhouse poetry did ya.
Al is one of Uncle Sams Misguided Children (USMC). I spent quite a few evenings buying and trading shots with guys like him and they are all ok by me. Come to think of it, I usually had to patch one or two of them up afterwards. They just can't hold their booze but it wasn't due to lack of trying.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 3:38PM
It's amazing what written on the walls
of the stalls.
The numbers you find written on the door,
usually lead you to some little _ _ _ _ _,
But my favorite number these last few weeks,
Led me right here to all of you geeks.
Led by your leader a man of great wit,
At least when he's not having a fit.
We all kiss his ass so hat's off to Tim,
Did I just kiss it well enough to win?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 3:42PM
Hell, Stkmn, I liked it enough to buy a vowel from Pat & Vanna and give it to you (Tim already bought all of the letter U).
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 3:53PM
Tim spells "U" m- e.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 3:57PM
You almost qualified for the porn title. Tim probably needs a cigarette now. That just might put you over the top.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:12PM
That was Fantastic.
I would only change one thing:
And, as he wrote of his Mentor
And, how he's been banned part of this winter
And, thinking of his his friend Mr. TLP
It occurred that he needed to pee
And, it felt like his dick had a Splinter
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:13PM
And, yes, you win.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 4:14PM
Hey now!!
O sorry, read it as was a splinter.
Nevermind
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:19PM
Wake up, ya Drunk.
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 5:05PM
You read it right, Tim had a typo.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 3:44PM
Happy Hour beckons. I'll be back later after stealing all of the good ideas at the bar.
Drunken Sailor| 3.1.13 @ 4:02PM
At TAS is a guy named Constantine
Who wrote poetry like a dream
He scatters verse like a summer shower
His prose, full of power
He has left us in favor of happy hour
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 4:17PM
Albert has left for his Drink
And, now all the entries will Stink
It'll all go the Hell
But I hope it goes Well
As he sits for his Early Bird Special
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:36PM
The draft Yuenglings are $2 between 4pm and 6 pm, but that doesn't rhyme with either drink or stink.
(though this might for the last line: "As he orders his beer to help think").
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:39PM
Depends on how many drafts you've had whether it rhymes. At which point, who gives a rat's a**?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:46PM
...a variation on a Hillary quote...
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:53PM
True, that. Good get!
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 9:20AM
After all beer is brain food.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 9:39AM
And proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy....
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:38AM
Special rhymes with Hell and Well.
I get it. "Normally" in the Uber Gay Poems that most people write in to The Contest, that last line would have rhymed with the first two. But, mine is is different.
It's not a Gay Poem. It's one of those Non-Gay ones. And, it's not a Haiku.
It's a new kind of Poetry that I recently came up with, just for you guys.
It's called an Effyou.
Hardcard| 3.1.13 @ 4:44PM
You misspelled bowel !!!
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 4:56PM
One drink Two, then another,
As he walks out and steps in the gutter.
Home he trods on this fine day,
Hoping to find the American way.
Lost in D.C. all the virtues we loved.
Waiting for Michael to come from above.
He makes hi way back into the house,
So quiet so still he could hear the church mouse.
Back to his desk and his keyboard of wit,
Trying to write better he didn't know quit.
The more he types the more sober he becomes,
He gettin ready to bring out the guns.
He'll write us tune or story bold,
This man's stories never get old.
We hope he's with us for a long time,
Maybe oneday he'll switch to wine.
We worry for his liver and his splean,
Our faithful old friend, Constantine.
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 5:03PM
You misspelled spleen.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:27PM
One day, hell, I'll be mixing wine with beer before the night is through..."
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 11:14PM
Got there about two hours ago, myself.
John II| 3.1.13 @ 5:07PM
Well, if this is an intermission, I suppose we need background music.
With apologies to Lewis Carroll and his "Walrus and the Carpenter" . . .
Obama and the Boehner-dude
Were talking thus and so;
Summertime it was, I think,
Two years or so ago.
"If you will give me this,"
One said, "the debt can grow and grow."
Now who said what to whom
Became a topic of the day
When Obama told a fib again--
Of course, that's just his way.
"I did not say sequester--
No, that's not what I would say!
"The Congress and the Boehner-dude
Proposed the nasty plot
And used a word I'd never heard
To sweeten up the pot.
So I agreed in order to
Put off default a lot."
Yet Bammy never figured on
A contradictory word
From a fifth estate reporter
Who could draw a truthful sword:
Sir Woodward shocked a pliant press,
Startling all the bored.
John II| 3.1.13 @ 5:08PM
A lackey of Obama called
Sir Woodward on a cell,
And threatened him with consequence:
A trip right down to Hell!
"You'll regret this!" said the thug--
"Just back off for a spell!"
Sir Woodward held his ground and said:
"I'm not a flak to pester!
I know for sure that Lew
And Nabors . . . invented the sequester!
I love my fellow Lefties dear,
But the brain cells shouldn't fester!"
Three years later, at the end
Of Obama's trail of debts,
Many in the fifth estate
Had started growing sets.
"What's wrong with them?" Obama cried,
"They oughta be my pets!"
"Barack," replied the Boehner-dude,
"You've had a pleasant run.
Enjoy your long vacation now!"
But answer came there none.
Obama stared at empty chairs:
He'd lied to everyone!
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 5:36PM
Snap, Snap, Snap. That was very very good J2!
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:50PM
Yes, Stkman, it was primo. If Carl Woodward could actually end up seeing the light, I would be pleasantly surprised. But I won't hold my breath. Most libs I know are flaky, he's probably just testing the waters and enjoying making waves again. One can hope' however.
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 7:13PM
Took ya long enough.
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:24PM
Not long enough, though, to catch the "fifth estate" slip. I've had that trouble for years now, confusing the term "fourth estate" with the term "fifth column." Can't imagine why . . .
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:29PM
At this point, is there something to say it can't be both?
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:38PM
Nothing that I can see. Consider "fifth estate" a new coinage--somebody call Webster's.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:30PM
Through the looking glass, indeed; that Lewis Carroll should have been Kreskin.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 8:53PM
Very clever John II, a snap cycle for you, sir.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 6:44AM
snap cycle ... that's worth a prize
Stkman| 3.1.13 @ 5:08PM
Funny, my medical dictionary from Graneda spells it that way.
Moe Blotz| 3.1.13 @ 5:59PM
Where is Graneda? Izzit somewhere in the Caribbeen?
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:42AM
What a wiseass.
I like it.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 7:33PM
My second and, mercifully, last entry. If you need me to tell you the tune to this, it's probably past your bedtime.
The Great Pretender
Oh, oh, yes. He’s the Great Pretender.
Pretending that we’re doing well.
His need is such, he pretends too much,
While the country is going to Hell.
Oh, oh, yes. He’s the Great Pretender.
Adrift in a world of his own.
All he plays is the game, and to his real shame,
he's cutting us all to the bone.
To real is this feeling of make believe.
To real what we feel, what the press won’t reveal.
Oh, oh, yes. He’s the Great Pretender.
Laughing and smiling all day.
He seems to be, what he’s not, you see.
He golfs all the time, on your and my dime
While the Country is rotting away.
To real is this feeling of make believe.
To real what we feel, what the press won’t reveal.
Oh, oh, yes. He’s the Great Pretender.
Laughing and gay, like a clown.
He seems to be, what he’s not, you see.
Take from the workers and give to the shirkers,
he’s taking the whole Country down.
(Country down)
CJW| 3.1.13 @ 8:06PM
K Jack
Good work, liked that song.
All this fuss about Obama threatening Woodward is funny.
The State Run Media has been kissing Obama's ass and covering for him so he was shocked when Woodward pointed out that the sequester was O's idea, passed by a Dem Senate and signed by O. You would think that someone in the State Run Media would have asked O if it was such a stupid plan why did you sign it into law?
Woodward has been in a coma since Watergate and just started showing life in the two Obama books. Woodward did nothing about the Bubba scandals. Woodward is the Prince of the journalists for slaying Nixon. But he did nothing about Bubba, nothing about Fast and Furious, and nothing about Benghazi. So he points out a little lie about the Sequester. And O goes crazy because the Prince has pointed out he lied. Can't blame O because he was shocked that Woodward finally woke up.
The State Run Media has been like Bob Uecker the announcer in Major League, except not as funny. The pitch went over the batter's head to the backstop and Uecker would say "a little high." The stands would be empty and he would say a great turnout. Well that is the State Run Media, exemplified by Woodward, and finally Woodward calls a pitch wild and to the backstop, and O wants to charge and fight the announcer.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:45PM
Now we can sit and watch as the press eats one of their own to protect their messiah.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 10:40PM
Just a bit outside...
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 11:34PM
For Woodward, maybe high and tight.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:47AM
Unless you have a Song that we can sing that to?
I'm afraid that the Judges will end up denying that Entry, CJW.
Unfortunately, I don't when they'll be back, as they borrowed my Car, and my wallet seems to have disappeared.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 9:50AM
Make mistake.
Bob Ueker.
Major League.
Got it.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:32PM
KJ;
Served up on a Platter, no less (and that's not a tear running down my cheek, Smoke Got in My Eye).
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:41PM
Agh!
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:34PM
Snap X 5. Brings back memories too. (How do you get bold print on this thing?)
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:40PM
Reverse these symbols>< with a b in between on either side of the text you want bolded, and no gaps between the symbols and words, and always preview before you submit.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:42PM
Yeah. Because this cheap-as** site doesn't have an edit button.
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:43PM
You mean, like >bthisb<?
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:43PM
I guess not.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 8:47PM
Like I said......
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:48PM
Reverse the order of >< these with the b in between (if I do it in the example properly, they disappear).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:49PM
...and one >b< on each side>b< of your text...
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:48PM
What about >bb<?
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:49PM
Damn.
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:50PM
How about this?
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:51PM
IT WORKED Thanks.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:59PM
For italics, substitute i for b.
John II| 3.1.13 @ 9:26PM
Whoa. I'm ready now.
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 10:00PM
Better hope Tim didn't read that.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 10:01AM
If this was Radio?
Everybody would have already Changed Stations, after that.
Tina B| 3.2.13 @ 9:25PM
why?
TLP| 3.1.13 @ 7:35PM
All right, everybody stand back.
I'm about to give another Analogy concerning Bob Woodward.
STKMAN, STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF!
That's better.
The Little Rascals.
President Barack Obathhouse and his She-man Woodward Hating Club.
They gather in their Clubhouse, with the Sheman Woodward Hating Club sign, posted outside the door, with half the Letters turned backwards.
Spanky (Obama) and his Sargeant at Arms - Alfalfa - (Biden) - bang the Gavel, and bring the meeting to order.
Sitting in the room is Ezra Klein, Joe Klein, Tom Friedman, Cizilla, HIV Positive Andrew Sullivan, Ed Slut Schultz, and the rest of the New Left Effeminazis.
One by one, the Brave New World of the Olde Media, shout out their demands.
"He's old." "He's Confused." "He doesn't know where he is." "He's a Jew." (That was Al Sharpton) "He had nothing to do with getting rid of Nixon."
They plot to Sarah Palin him. They plot to do to him, what they did to Hillary Clinton in the Primaries.
"He's a Plant." "He's a Traitor." "He's gonna regret writing what he wrote."
Every now and then, Liberals, like Woodward and Juan Williams, are forced to walk in the rest of our shoes.
Whether it opens their eyes, is another thing.
"Meeting Adjourned."
John II| 3.1.13 @ 8:32PM
Well--two snaps for the persuasive energy, but I'm old enough to remember Spanky McFarlane, and I'm telling ya, Obama's no Spanky. More like Buckwheat on steroids.
And now I know why you won't let me be a judge.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 8:45PM
(A contest Anthem:)
Friday ♪♫ Will Never ♪♫ Be The Same
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.1.13 @ 10:00PM
Goldwater Girl wrote earlier of George Jones, and it made me think back on one of the saddest country songs ever which he recorded and released in the mid – 1980s, entitled “He Stopped Loving Her Today”. It told the story of a man who could not move beyond his lost love. As the Left once idolized Woodward, and now are revising their opinion based on his dishing on Obama, I thought I might revise the tune, with Bob Woodward as someone who is no longer the subject of their adoration:
They thought they’d love him 'til he died
They remembered back in time
He was clearly on their side
covered Tricky Dick with slime
and his book done on the Court
was a blue print on the law
Helped to break through and report
How the left could win it all
Wrote of Casey in his bed
in a coma by himself
shared his plans to beat the red
Covert plans from off the shelf
They came to see him yesterday
time to call in all the debts
If he didn’t see it Barack’s way
He’d be sure to have regrets
(Chorus)
They stopped loving him today
He said Barry told a lie
Soon they’ll make him go away
They stopped loving him today
(Spoken)
They went to see him one last time
to see if he would change his tale
but he still wouldn’t change his mind
So now he’s not too big to fail
(Repeat Chorus)
They stopped loving him today
He said Barry told a lie
Soon they make him go away
They stopped loving him today
KennesawJack| 3.1.13 @ 11:16PM
Mixing wine with beer does wonder for the creative juices, no?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 6:43AM
It's all in the formula.
Stephie| 3.2.13 @ 8:48AM
It's all in the grapes ~
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:16AM
...first, you gotta stomp 'em...
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 4:01PM
Are you channeling Mel Tillis here? I know I would like your IPod!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 8:04PM
I was thinking of that old tune, along with "Wine Me Up" by Faron Young.
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 8:27PM
Along with, there stands the glass!
John II| 3.2.13 @ 1:25AM
SNAP!
Woodward turns 70 this year, which makes him and me almost exact coevals. Both of us are right on the closing edge of the Silent Generation, just before the advent of the insufferable Boomer generation.
What goes round comes round. I guess.
Pecos Pete| 3.2.13 @ 8:17AM
Yesterdee, while all the fine folks here was drinkin' and spoutin' and havin' fun, I was out on the north by north-east pasture ridin' my old horse with the new name ... Tim. (I really like that horse, good gait, never tires of tryin' to bite or kick me. Once a stranger named AnnaK tried to ride Old Tim ... well, you'd a thought Tim had a cockle-burr under the saddle blanket. AnnaK ended up in the pig pen slop.) Well, back to the north by north-east pasture ... nice day, blue sky, no wind, just me and Old Tim pushin' doggies from one pasture to 'nother. I got to thinkin' ... and that's always dangeryouse ... about this here fellow named Woodward, and this other fellow named King O. Now, I don't have much truck with either one, but it sure seemed like they was both tryin' to stick somethin' on t'other one. So, I got to singin' to the doggies. Started up with "Keep On The Sunny Side". Tim liked that one. Next up was "Careless Love" and them doggies perked right up. Then it hit me! Right tween the eyes. Hank Williams, Sr. and "Your Cheatin' Heart" was the way to bring those doggies home. Tim had tears in his eyes when I was a'thru croonin' to them doggies. Now, it don't matter which one, Woodward or King O, that comes to mind when you sing along with me. I didn't change any of the words 'cause that would be sackreelegious.
Pecos Pete| 3.2.13 @ 8:18AM
Woodward's cheatin' heart,
Will make you weep,
King O'll cry and cry,
And try to sleep,
But sleep won't come,
The whole night through,
Woodward's cheatin heart, will tell on you...
When tears come down,
Like falling rain,
King O'll toss around,
And call Woodward's name,
He'll walk the floor,
The way We do,
Woodward's cheatin' heart, will tell on you...
Woodward's cheatin' heart,
Will pine some day,
And crave the love,
He threw away,
The time will come,
When he'll be blue,
Woodward's cheatin' heart, will tell on you...
When tears come down,
Like falling rain,
King O will toss around,
And call Woodward's name,
He'll walk the floor,
The way We do,
Woodward's cheatin' heart, will tell on you...
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:13AM
Many, many >bb
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:15AM
Still haven't got the bold down right.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:15AM
Snap!Snap!
"The Lost Highway" has a lot of potential with the current POTUS, as well.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:19AM
Jest wantin' ta tell ya, muh own horse Tag looked up and stopped chewin' his oats, twitch'n his ears while yore strains drifted o'er th' prairie grass and echoed in the canyon beyon'.
Good'n, Pecos. Good'n.
Pecos Pete| 3.2.13 @ 10:37AM
JII: Gracias!
Here's a little help for how to do the bold/italic thingy: <b>for bold</b> .. <i>for italic</i>
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:50AM
Why didn't Al explain it that way? Thanks.
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 5:38PM
Pecos Pete - I can just picture the sun setting, you putting the coffee on the fire, and just chilling.
I am with you in Spirit - that was lovely.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 6:38AM
Joellen, coffee on the fire and chillin' with the added whiskey in the cup. Ahhhh, metal cup, hot coffee and a tipple in the cup. The saddle bag is never complete without a pint of sippin' whiskey. Sunset or sunrise, wakin' up, or goin' to sleep. Sometimes, if I'm feelin' extra special, even Old Tim gets a sip ... although he prefers beer.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 6:45AM
I hear ya:)
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 9:09AM
Whiskey for my men and beer for my horses
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 12:13PM
You spelled Whoreses wrong.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 12:53PM
And, why do I think that "Tim" is the Horse that he's always Milking?
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:31AM
One of my favorite Hank Wm's tunes, well done Sir!
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 10:14AM
Well, that was disturbing.
He's on Tim's back. He's riding Tim. There's cockles, Careless Love, and doggie stuff goin on.
Am I the only one that feels uncomfortable, after reading that?
Is there a Psychiatrist in the house?
Better yet.........Is there a Home Security Professional in the house?
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:21AM
Well, we're borrowing an Ang Lee site. Whaddaya expect?
Kwan| 3.2.13 @ 10:36AM
Ang Lee directed Awnie and Purp's favorite movie "Brokeback Mountain".
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:39AM
Wasn't it "Backpacking Mountain"?
Kwan| 3.2.13 @ 11:15AM
I think "Backpacking Mountain" was actually the sequel to"Brokeback Mountain" and was followed by the third movie in the series "K-Y Jelly Mountain".
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:18PM
You're all wrong.
It was Fudgepack Mountain.
(I have to do everything around here)
John II| 3.2.13 @ 2:17PM
You'll be rewarded in heaven for your effort, Timmy. We depend on you.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 2:38PM
God will quickly dispatch Tim to taunt Alinsky, as a lesson for dedicating his magnum opus to Lucifer (though I imagine Lucifer and Saul get to spend a lot of time together now).
CJW| 3.2.13 @ 9:11PM
Obama's friend, terrorist Billy Ayers, dedicated his book to Sirhan Sirhan, referring to him as a political prisoner. Sirhan murdered Bobby Kennedy, Ayers considered that a political act. Shows how low the Dems have fallen that they voted for Obama who is friends with the killer of Bobby Kennedy.
Kwan| 3.2.13 @ 2:40PM
I think we better get expert verification on this. Does anyone have the phone number of the Gay Bathhouse and Massage Parlor that Purp and Awnie hang out in?
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 7:34PM
Kwan, you can try 1 (286) 226-3487 .
Kwan| 3.3.13 @ 2:00AM
Called the number Moe. Purp and Awnie couldn't come to the phone as they were involved in some kind of mating ritual, but homo movie expert vtwin was there and confirmed that Tim had the right title.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 12:58PM
The reason nobody's answering the phone, is because that's not a Phone Number.
It's Moe's Sperm Count, his Weight, his Girlfriend's weight, and all of his DUI's last year.
Stephie| 3.2.13 @ 8:50AM
You folks are funny! Will join in for the next one, still have asleep.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 12:10PM
About freakin time Stephie.
Come back soon. Say.........in a Have hour?
And, don't mind the Group.
Have of them are a buncha haveasses.
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 9:05AM
You guys are all great. So humbly I enter my entry today:
Gordon LightFoot's "If you can read my Mind" re-edited to
"If I Cant Change Your Mind" sung by obama.
If I cant change your mind Bob
there's a tale you're about to reveal
Just like an espionage story
that'll show what I'am about to declare
But Not MY Press
cause they'll cover me
no matter what Ive actually said
It doesnt matter to them
They'll never tell on where I've been
or what I've done
cause they just dont have the guts
The glorys not for them
If you dont change your attitude
there's a bounty that I am about to ensue
caue all my subjects live in perpetual fear
of what I'll actually do
so now they mock who was once called a
Journalist,
your story's been retold
And all will forget of your loyal past
cause you wanted a story that
would have reveal what a dictator I am
Your story wont be told
If you dont change your Tale Bob
you will never be heard from again
Just like those people who revel
Freedom, you'll be an outcast with them
So walk away like a reporter who got burned
by his liberal friends
A journalist who played the scene
but then foolishly brought at all the bad in me
I never thought you would act this way
and Ive got to say that you should've known better than to mess with me.
I dont know why but you went wrong
so you've just got to go away
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:09AM
Excellent job, Joellen. It took me back to the early 70s, which in a number of ways was a better time (BHO was eating dog in Indonesia, and Woodward had yet to meet Bernstein).
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 10:18AM
And the rest of us were biting our lower lips on the Dance floor, under the Disco Ball.
Dynomyyyyyyyyyyyyyte!
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:24AM
Gee. I was in grad school finishing my dissertation after an awkward interruption with the US Army. They still had the draft in those days. I never get to have any fun.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 10:37AM
You get to grade papers, don't you. Methinks that should provide a lot of laughs.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:47AM
That reminds me. I have to get back to work.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:25AM
Pesco-Excellent Sir! One of my favorite Hank Wm's tunes
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:30AM
geez that was supposed to be for Pesco back up at 0817.
Joellen-I think you hit the nail on the head with
"Your story wont be told"
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 9:46AM
Tim's been telling us how great your were. Oh! Wait. I'm trying to remember if he was talking about your song writing ability. Give me a minute.
In the mean time, great job! Show us what you can do with the "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". All kinds of possibilities.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 10:19AM
Above in reply to Joellen's masterpiece. (Don't go there, Tim).
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 10:24AM
Mark Steyn should enter this contest, or, has he already????
hmmm...
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:27AM
I think he's with us. It's either Kennesaw or Pecos.
On the other hand, maybe it's TLP. That would explain a lot.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 10:28AM
Remember, this site is open til 5 on Sunday.
If you're like me (and none of you are) you'll go about your weekend routine, knowing that all of this will be waiting for you when you get done, or drunk, or a Bail Bondsman.
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 10:29AM
Thanks KennesawJack - love me my man Tim, as I love you all. The challenge is on, however, with all these great entries I'll try that one next time. Before I go about my day let me leave you with this one:
Robert Palmers "I Didnt Mean to Turn You On" to "I Didnt Mean to Turn on You"
by Robert Woodward
When I turned on you, I knew what I was out to do
but baby wow,
I cant believe the wrath coming from you
I told what was
and now my friends from the media
have spoken too
its seems though they just agree more with you
OOH I didnt mean to turn on you
You told the press
to get in my head and try to mess
with what Ive said
cause i've up and gone against you
Why Oh Why did I not think this byline story out
cause now I am dead
in the eyes of all of my liberal friends
It must be old age that made me say
all the things that I reported that day
cause baby wow, I sense I made a freaking huge mistake
No, I didnt mean to turn on You
I didnt mean to turn on You
Let's forget and reset
my liberal bonds emended
Cause baby wow, I didnt mean to turn on YOU.
Folks, in the background swaying and dancing to the beat
Chris Matthews, Al Sharpton, Rachel Maddow and the entire left wing media!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:37AM
Somehow, I can't imagine there is enough makeup in the Revlon warehouse to make Maddow look like one of Robert Palmer's Girls.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 10:53AM
There isn't. Not even if you throw in the Estee Lauder, Max Factor, and Avon warehouses, too.
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 7:38PM
Really a pity what happened to Estee' Lauder after Max Factor.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 8:16PM
Is THAT what he did to her?
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 1:01PM
Not even if you throw in the PAZ Easter Egg Colouring stuff.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 11:09AM
Rachel Maddow has mastered the generic/nondescript pre-teen boy look. I'm not sure WHY one would want to achieve this but I tip my Little League baseball hat to her nonetheless. Well done my good (insert gender of choice).
R Martin| 3.2.13 @ 11:19AM
So true. Geez, I thought those Palmer Girls were...easy Ricky.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 10:34AM
On another note, I left a note for Tim over at Origin of a Lie which he apparently hasn't read so, in order to try to protect any of this week's winners from the same effrontery, I repost it here. "I'm still pi**ed about the last contest. I get there first, I write a magnificent, towering, monumental, gift-to-all-mankind poem and what do I get? A lousy transcript from the contest. I was expecting, at the very least, a photo of Purp, all smiles, taken through Obamarx's navel. The transcript may come in handy some day, though. I put it in the same place my Momma used to put the used Sears Roebuck catalogue. Seriously, a transcript? I couldn't even bring myself to forward it to the South Florida Chapter of Recovering Jews Who Voted for Obamarx Society (also known as the SFCRJWVOS) to use as a raffle prize in their next fundraiser. Damn."
So, Tim. The more I think about the photo of Purp the more I think it should actually be him and Arnie in passionate embrace while vtwin has his hand otherwise occupied. As I said, the photo can be taken by placing one of those fiber optic thingies through Obamarx's navel at about the same height as one's head would be if it were up his a**, which is where theirs are. Lighting should be just about right, too. Seriously? A transcript?
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:42AM
Didn't you already post this note?
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 10:49AM
Back at Origin of Lie yesterday. I think. But the guy who hands out prizes (TLP) apparently didn't read it 'cause he didn't respond, which is his wont. So, in an effort to protect my fellow entrants from the aforementioned effrontery and, in the interest of comity, I posted it again.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 10:57AM
" in the interest of comity..."
You'd make a good republican senator...My Friend!
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 11:34AM
Talk about a left-handed compliment. Wow.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:31PM
I saw it a little while ago, and that's why I've instructed the Prize Committee to re-think the Policy of no longer sending my old Underpants as Prizes.
I tried to Class the place up with Transcripts, Calenders, and Bags of Abortions, but noooooooooo. Some people have taken to Complaining, which they never did after receiving one of My Skidmark Specials.
Be careful what you wish for, KennesawJack.
You might just get it. (in the mail)
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 12:40PM
I say this because Lindsey "King of Comity" Graham gets a little lonely sometimes, what with John McSham residing so far out west and Mitch McConnell being such a bore.
He needs someone who resides little closer to South Carolina. Perhaps a primary challenge to Saxby Chambliss is in the cards? ...you know, for the sake of "comity".
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 12:51PM
Didn't Saxby announce that he wasn't running again?
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 1:31PM
Saxby is not running. It's the old Mene mene tekel uphairison kind of thing. Bob, the next time I agree with Lindsey Graham on anything, it'll be the first time.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 10:00AM
Isn't there an old 50's tune titled "Handwriting on the Wall"? I need to squirrel that one away for a future Contest . . .
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 10:47AM
"South Florida Chapter of Recovering Jews Who Voted for Obamarx Society "
--
Didn't they previously refer to themselves as The Tribe of the Hanging Chad?
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 10:50AM
That was when they still had money. Now that their idiot won, they have to hold fundraisers so they changed their name. Also, they're older and wiser now.
John Navratil| 3.2.13 @ 10:37AM
(with apologies to Billy Joel - "We didn't light the fire")
Medicare, Medicaid,
SSI, Student aid,
Agriculture, Food Stamps,
energy conserving lamps.
Fed employment going up,
workers bang a tin cup,
trying hard to make a dime,
standing in employment line.
Obama says it's only fair,
rich must pay a greater share,
closing all the loop holes,
raising up the tax rolls.
Coburn says there's much waste,
programs which are duplicates,
still we must sequester,
says the court jester.
We didn't make a budget.
It was always fakin'
for the gov'ment takin'.
We didn't make a budget.
It was always spendin'
for economy mendin'.
What's this? Big Sis,
cannot get the taxes,
opens all the jail doors,
frees illegal workers.
Transportation, Ray LaHood
acting for the public good,
closing half the towers,
controllers to the showers.
First reponders, first to go,
meat inspectors shown the door,
public left to fumble,
'til they cry "Uncle!"
Axelrod and David Plouffe,
everyone is playing rough,
Woodward's writing must halt,
It cannot be the Pres'dents fault.
(refrain)
Regulations, tax code,
ever unsure what is owed,
businesses are side-lined,
'til they get the guidlines.
Run the presses full time,
dollar's only worth a dime.
Quantative easing
t' Bernanke is most pleasing.
Trying other budget tricks,
looking for the cheap fix,
Codevilla's "Ruling Class",
gives it to us in the ω
Harry Reid, roadblock,
has run out the game clock.
Taxpayers are fed up.
Time to put a budget up.
(refrain)
John II| 3.2.13 @ 10:45AM
SNAPS!
We're going to go WAY past 400 on this site before the day's out. Might as well start shooting for 500 right now.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:52AM
Mr. Navratil, a most impressive effort, and it included the mandatory Woodward reference. I'm thnking the judges will be quite pleased.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:50PM
That was better than just a buncha Snaps.
Boobs! Brassieres! Legs! Thighs! Cleavage! More Boobs!
Well done.
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 7:42PM
Aye, top shelf that. But he misspelled quantitative.
John Navratil| 3.2.13 @ 8:00PM
Moe Blotz,
That's because the superior signal processor installed in my brain case doesn't rely on spelling to extract meaning ;)
John Navratil| 3.2.13 @ 11:34PM
Moe Blotz,
Actually, I deliberately left the 'tit' out to avoid any appearance of pandering to the judge.
Li'l Jen| 3.2.13 @ 11:33PM
Love it!
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 10:38AM
Actually, in MY version Tim is singing and We're all Dancing in the Background and remember I CAN DANCE!
Pecos Pete| 3.2.13 @ 10:51AM
Tim can't sing solo.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:57AM
Perhaps he sings so low we can't hear him.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:52PM
Was that a "Down Low" crack?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 1:18PM
No, a pun-solo, so low. Eh, never mind.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 2:07PM
I need to jump over to Urban Dictionary to keep up.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 2:53PM
You can read?
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 7:43PM
Maybe Bob has a Pictionary, what?
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 11:32AM
I was just takin'a break to go to that place where I do my most creative work and a sudden urge came over me. I wasn't going to have another entry this week, but the urge was so strong I couldn't resist. Herewith my first ever limerick:
They all gave the Kenyan a pass.
As they all jammed their heads up his a**.
But now they're all moanin'
'Cause their wallets are groanin".
They're paying four dollars for gas.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 11:56AM
Snaps!
Actually, we paying just under $4.50 where I live, but I don't want to let anyone know where I live, lest the trolls are listening.
Which reminds me, has anyone else noticed that the trolls never seem to horn in on the Contest? I hope I'm not putting a hex on things by pointing this out, but it's occurred to me that the Contest is a kind of Sanctuary.
Yes. This is Sacred Ground, off limits to evil spirits.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:57PM
I'm pretty sure they're all home, putting Makeup and Dresses on.
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 5:13PM
JII,
Additional proof that they are paid trolls.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 12:55PM
I'm putting them in the Mail, as we speak.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 1:35PM
You're putting the trolls in the mail?
One of my son's a CGI special effects artist in the film industry, which requires constant practice in plain old sketching with pens and pencils and stuff. Trolls in the mail. Remind me to ask him to draw that.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 2:28PM
Perhaps some Elvis: Return To Sender!
(my apologies for not including the cool music notes as I'm not technically savvy enough to figure out the HTML and people here are holding that info close to their vest(s)).
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 2:41PM
Two different ways are noted higher up on the thread, BG. Cut and paste is the easiest.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 5:19PM
♪...excellent!
Muchos G, Al.
I suppose this lone note will suffice, but please don't call me a One Note Johnny.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 6:29AM
♪one♪note♪Bob♪
There, fixed it for ya. Although, it took 4 ♪ to fix it. Does that change it to 4NoteBob?
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 2:56PM
I'm putting the Underpants in the Mail.
And, now you're getting a pair.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 11:53AM
On a bit of a roll here on a dreary Saturday morning. (Funny how dreariness drums up thoughts of Obamarx.)
Obama's a Marxist, that's true.
As is his fat a** wife, too.
No, he's not crazy
when he gives to the lazy
the money he's taken from you.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 1:01PM
I'm get dreary reading this.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 12:06PM
The trolls never breach the high walls
Of the Contest's immutable Laws:
No jerks need apply
To this site raised on high,
For they haven't the wit or the balls.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 12:21PM
I like the theme, so I'll make my own contribution:
Thus far we haven’t seen trolls here
The reason for this should be quite clear
If Soros ain’t payin’
No points they’re displayin’
And all they have left is their own fear
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 1:03PM
You spelled "Constantinople" wrong.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 1:20PM
It matters not; since they read in Cyrillic, they won't notice anyway.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 1:40PM
Well, Cyrillic is derived from Greek, but when Constantinople was still Constantinople, before 1453, they just did Greek.
Actually, the real trouble is that you spelled Mississippi wrong.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 1:58PM
...hey, you know what they say in Athens (and what they might've said once in what is now Istanbul), it's all ελληνικά to me...
John II| 3.2.13 @ 2:11PM
You left out the rough breathing on the epsilon.
But . . . but . . . dare I ask?
How do you get the Greek letters??
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 2:30PM
...cut and paste, but you have to use an overwhelming amount of English words in roman script on either side, or the filter won't let you post...
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 2:43PM
Or, depending on which version of Microsoft Word you have (if you have a PC or Windows campatible laptop) you can click on the "insert" header then go to the symbols icon. You will find both Russian Cyrillic and Greek Cyrillic there. Simply click on the symbol and click on insert. Voila!
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 2:58PM
You spelled "Microscope" wrong.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 2:49PM
Oh.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 2:51PM
Oh. I have a bad feeling about this. I think teaching classical Greek is probably easier.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 3:00PM
It's way easier.
Lesson #1) Bend Over.
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 3:11PM
"Lesson #1) Bend Over."
No, that's Neo Republicanism.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 3:42PM
Lesson #2. (taught by John McCain)
Bend Over, Again.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 3:43PM
Smile While You Spread 'Em.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 3:45PM
That was supposed to be:
Lesson #3. (Taught by Mitch McConnell)
Smile While You Spread 'Em.
WHEN IS THIS CHEAP-ASS SITE GONNA GET AN EDIT BUTTON!?
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 4:22PM
Addendum to lesson #3. When smiling while spreading 'em, one must include the following sentence:
"for the sake of comity, I'm prepared to reach across the aisle and (insert appropriate Cave In by republican party) ...because the people expect congress to work together blah, blah, blah...".
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 4:31PM
Well, they are supposed to be a collegial group, you know. The problem with the Republicans is when the Dems explained to them the meaning of "comity" and "collegial" is " you roll over and we jam it up your a**" they thought that made sense.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 4:56PM
...always catching, never pitching...
Moe Blotz| 3.2.13 @ 7:59PM
Here is a vertical smile for your post at 15.43: (_!_). Since the 17th amendment to the Constitution was passed, the Senate has become much like a college fraternity. When the members of that august body had to answer to state legislatures, it was harder to pull off the massive snow jobs they do now.
BL in AK| 3.2.13 @ 2:35PM
Lots of good entries. Think back to a song by the Five Man Electrical Band about signs.
And the sign said, "Only long-haired freaky people need apply"
So I grew my hair out of my hat and I went in to apply
He said, "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So then out of his mouth came a lie, and I said, "Imagine that, huh, me workin' for you"
Whoa, oh, oh
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?
And the sign said, “Anybody caught misreportin' would be shot on sight”
So, I jumped out of my chair and yelled at the White House "Hey, what gives you the right?
To put up all your lies to misinform the public or to act out of line with the Constitution
If God was here, He'd tell you to your face halfrican, man, you're some kinda sinner"
BL in AK| 3.2.13 @ 2:36PM
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery,
breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?
Now, hey you, Mister, can't you read?
You've got to report my line and lie to keep a seat
You can't even question, no you can't speak
I control you being here
The sign said, “You got to have a membership card to stay inside, ugh”
And the sign said, "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray"
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all I didn't have a penny to pay
So, I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said, "Thank you, Lord, for showin' his lies to me, I'm alive and doin' fine, woo”
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign Sign Sign, sign
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 2:45PM
Excellent adaptation. Of course, as punishment, all coal fired electrical generation plants will now have to go necessarily bankrupt, to ensure there is no juice for the Five Man Electrical Band to play (better loan them your generator).
BL in AK| 3.2.13 @ 4:10PM
Albert-As long as we keep going at the shale gas I think the coal and gas kids will get along in the sandbox and share the ice cream to keep the lights on.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 2:25PM
Thanks Albert.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 2:45PM
So this is what you folks up there do when the sun don't shine. Great job!
BL in AK| 3.2.13 @ 4:07PM
KJ-Thanks a bunch. This is my favorite time of year when we are gaining 5-plus minutes of light a day and snow on the ground it is really bright out. Today is one of those days we call a Blue bird day, Not a cloud in the sky and whoohoo Sun!
John II| 3.2.13 @ 2:57PM
Ten thousand SNAPS!
Sure is fun doing bold. But it'll take a few weeks of study to do the Greek and the musical notes and the Hebrew and stuff.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 3:03PM
Nice job, BL.
That just might be your best one.
BL in AK| 3.2.13 @ 4:12PM
Thanks J2 and Tim. Tim remind the judges about those photos I have with you and your therapist, just sayin'
cheerz
off to the Sunshine and clearing snow
BL
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 5:43PM
Wow BL in AK - that brought back lots of memories - thanks!
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:34AM
Thanks Joellen. God Bless.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 2:51PM
A Kenyan we put in the White House
along with his Wookie-like fat spouse.
They fiddle and play
while we willingly pay
while called racist if we dare to grouse.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 2:58PM
The Tiger Woods wanna be sits there,
his feet on our desk, his ass in our chair.
Though he's Tingles' messiah
we know he's a liah
and really, folks, he shouldn't be there.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 3:01PM
OK. I'm done. WHY ARE YOU CHEERING?
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 3:04PM
Because you're done.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 3:11PM
Over 400.
Where's the Colonel?
Where have Hardcard and Pesco, gone?
Where's Stephie and loulou?
Where is Lancelot Link?
More importantly............Where's the Goddamn Toilet Paper.
Every freakin time.......................................................................
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 3:40PM
I've got an old transcript I won at a contest. I was saving it for just such a request. It's on its way.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 6:32PM
You can thank me, later.
After you wash your hands.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 3:13PM
I liked some of your choices for rhyme, so I thought I 'd recycle them a bit:
Chris Matthews’ elected Messiah
Was called by Bob Woodward a liah
When you look more or less
At the rest of the press
They’re backing the One from Hawai-uh
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 3:38PM
I am suitably impressed, Al. Well done.
R Martin| 3.2.13 @ 3:47PM
Nashesque. Nice.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 6:16PM
Another guy we haven't heard, nearly enough, lo these last two days.
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 4:12PM
Wow... Looks like I have some drinking to do to catch up with you guys. Might need to turn on my pre-1980 country playlist for inspiration! The lyricists are melting the keypads with the clever adaptations. Competition is fierce!
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 4:43PM
To the tune of Kenny Rogers and the late Dottie West, Every Time Two Fools Collide
Bam wants things his way
To no one's surprise
And now, repubs don't know
Just where Bam draws the line
How long can the country survive
If we keep choosing dem's?
And who picks up the pieces
Every time these fools organize?
We lay the blame on Bam
And he, the blame on us
Why does he keep finding fault
In everything repubs do?
And how long, can we keep the lights on,
It's so cut and dry
And who picks up the pizzas
For these fools that organize?
We can save our country
We still have the time
Oh, I know there must be a way
That we just haven't tried
To keep our country from breakin'
Every time these fools organize
To keep our country from breakin
Every time these fools organize
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 4:54PM
I think you've captured the essence of the Community Organizer-in-Chief (though these days I think Kenny's hit, with apologies to Ms. Piven, might be Cloward of the Country).
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 5:34PM
Al, do you really want to apologize to Ms. Piven? For anything?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 6:06PM
It's a formality, like misspelling the defendant's name on the death warrant.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 6:49PM
Well, ok then.
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 5:36PM
You must have done enough preparatory drinking 'cause that was great. Better late than never and that was better than most.
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 5:45PM
That a girl AUH20!
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 5:19PM
True, and based on his athletic skills, I'm betting he was the coward too. He would have told Becky that she was likable enough!
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 5:58PM
The beginning to the Southern Rock classic Flirtin' With Disaster sum's up what's going on quite nicely:
-----
We're travelin' down the road and HE's flirtin' with disaster
HE's got the pedal to the floor and our lives are running faster
We're outta money outta hope it looks like self destruction
Well how much more can we take with all of this corruption
He's flirtin' with disaster, ya'll know what I mean
And the way HE runs our lives it makes no sense to me
I don't know about yourself or what you wanna to be, yeah
When HE gamble's with our dimes HE SCREWS our destiny....
------
Writer's block only Barton Fink would be proud of prevents me from continuing. I hope TLP finds it in his heart to consider sending me a partial prize?
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 6:05PM
And, by the way, to get the full effect, you MUST wear your mullet wig!
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 6:10PM
You could wear dreadlock extensions instead, and you would be Milli Hatchet (you could lip sync, but your two step would be real sharp).
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 6:19PM
Why not throw in Geno Vannlli to make it an all-out clusterfarke.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 6:34PM
Do You Remember ♪♫Those Nights in Montreal♪
If Not♪♫ Blame It on the Rain♫...
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 6:46PM
Why Blame it on the Rain when you can Live Inside Yourself?
(And people, please don't attempt to Live Inside Yourself, Purp mentioned it was painful and he had sore muscles for a month. Next time I tell him to go F*** himself, perhaps he won't take it literally)
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 6:06PM
A partial birth abortion?
Bob Grant| 3.2.13 @ 6:12PM
Partial Post? ...Oh, I can't believe I'm egging this on.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 6:27PM
Everybody step back.
I've got another Analogy that's gonna Blow Your Socks Off.
................................................................................................
False Alarm.
I got nothin.
TLP| 3.2.13 @ 6:30PM
I just remembered.
Beach Scene.
Lord of the Flies.
Joellen| 3.2.13 @ 6:57PM
I still laugh - where is Mike?
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 6:35PM
Would that be a premature expectation?
KennesawJack| 3.2.13 @ 6:47PM
GWG, do you have any idea as to what you just did?
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 1:08PM
Be quiet.................................I'm almost there!
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 1:12PM
Oooooooooooooooookay. I'm done.
Now, what did you want, KJ?
Pecos Pete| 3.2.13 @ 7:16PM
Howdy! Just back from more ridin' the range. Checked the score ... 471. Not bad for a bunch of reprobates and the good lookin' wimin we have. Some of the stories ain't too bad neither.
I'm giving up on the Colonel. Gonna open the bar myself. After a sip or 3, gonna come back and try to compete with you bunch of show-offs. Except for Tim. Nobody competes with Tim! (I want that prize, whatever it is. Thus, bein' good to Pretty Tim has to be part of the game.)
AuH2O Girl| 3.2.13 @ 7:54PM
Pesci,
Glad you made it back on Tim! Now, saddle up at the bar and join the party!
CJW| 3.2.13 @ 9:31PM
Movie: All the President's Men II. released 2014.
Plot: Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, two senior reporters who want to re-establish their legacy as crusading reports, return to investigate a president for lying and covering up:
1) sending guns to Mexico to show how guns are easy to sell. The guns are used to kill American border agents and many Mexicans,
2) not providing the requested security and help for the Benghazi consulate that resulted in the death of four Americans.
The reporters became interested when the president lied about who proposed a minor reduction in the projected increases in the budget. For some reason everyone referred to them as "cuts" when they were really just "smaller increases in spending."
The president, as ususal, lied but then attacked Woodward, which finally woke up a few reporters in the State Run Media to investigate the president, who finally resigned over the Benghazi/Fast and Furious Scandals that caused the death of Americans, and could not be compared to a "third rate burglary" as suggested by BaghdadBob Carney, the president's spokesman.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.2.13 @ 10:10PM
Somehow, have a feeling that Katzenberg won't be producing, Spielberg won't be directing, and Samuel L. Jackson, Sean Penn and Ashley Judd won't be starring.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 6:53AM
Good on CJW, and Al you can guarantee Redford , another liberal, wouldn't reprise his role as Woodward if his career depended on it.
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 9:00AM
Joellen, good morning. Isn't it early for St Pat's parade? We have the second or third largest St.Pat's parade in Pgh, NYC is first, then maybe Baaaston.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 5:34PM
CJW, today was the Belmar (NJ) St Patricks Parade - I marched with the TEA PARTY - will tell all tomorrow.
Staten Island has a great parade also!
No Tim, no dumping allowed.
John II| 3.2.13 @ 11:52PM
Whoa. Just got back after hours and hours preparing Monday's classes.
Where is everybody? Hey--we're almost at 500. There wasn't a nuclear war or anything, was there?
It's so quiet. Maybe a movie is in order. Maybe "Creature from the Black Lagoon" (1954). Should be able to pull an analogy out of that one. Have to watch it again first.
Really--where IS everybody?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 9:40AM
There wasn't a nuclear war; I think in these current times, one should always use yet when that sentence is put into play.
To that end, though, I believe I saw members of the Kim family holding a banner today which read 우리는 오바마를 사랑, that seems to suggest that even if they start a nuclear exchange, they're still big fans of our Dear Leader.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 1:23PM
I
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 2:24PM
Wonder how Denis Rodman's visit to N Korea fits in with King O's plans and the way they use round ball to cover their tracks.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 4:31PM
As the above message translates to "We Love Obama", I imagine it will be across the back of his hoody when he flies back here.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 5:03PM
I wonder if Denis is the Falcon or the Sno-man
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:40AM
John II- So what school do you teach at?
Just the crickets now. With this post we have hit the 500 mark!
cheerz
BL
John II| 3.3.13 @ 10:15AM
If I told you what school I teach in, I wouldn't be able to teach there anymore. And I've got just 15 months, one week, and five days left to retirement.
Then I'll tell you.
How did AK ever become the abbreviation for Alaska? Isn't there a place called Arkansas somewhere among the basic 48?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 10:42AM
If I might answer the last question, it is another symptom of the federal leviathan. Following the introduction of the ZIP (Zone Improvement Plan) code system in the 1960s by the Post Office, it was decided that all states should be abbreviated using only two letters. Alabama got AL, Arizona got AZ so Arkansas could get AR, which left AK for Alaska.
Apparently, despite the millions spent on sorting machines, they (and the sorters) were not able to make the system work efficiently without this further encroachment and standardization. Of course, each time I lift a pint or buy a dozen eggs (or a 12 pack of Yuengling), I toast the success of the standardization imposed upon us by the metric system.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 11:07AM
Oh. I didn't think about Arizona or Alabama.
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 12:59PM
You know that Newman on Seinfeld disclosed that zipcodes are not used by the Post Service.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:48PM
Lots of folks get AR and AK mixed up. Hopefully with Ms P now in AZ that will get all the A states straightened out.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 1:41AM
Ok maybe with this one. Nite all
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 7:02AM
Good Morning all - off to Mass and then the St. Patricks Day Parade
Tim, you gonna need a lot of awards this time around.
I hope someone is keeping track of all the music we've captured - whoever DJs at our party -
here ya go!
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 8:47AM
Another old time country song. Originally written about the death of President McKinley who was assassinated September 14, 1901. This version was written and first sung by Bill Monroe.
White House Blues
King O hollered , King O squalled
Wood'ard said, King O I can't find the cause
You're bound to lie, you're bound to lie
Wood'ard told the news, he'd throw down his pen
He said to the news, you gotta outrun this train
From Chicago to Washington
Wood'ard came a-running, he took off his specs
Said, King O better cash in your checks
You've bound to lie, you're bound to lie
Look here, you rascal, you see what you've done
You lied to the Janitors with your teleprompter off
I'm carrying you back, to Indonesia
Well, someone else's in the White House, doing his best
King O is in Indonesia taking his rest
He's gone, for a long time
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 9:27AM
He's a picking on us, we're not grinning...
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 8:58AM
Senor Pete
Buenos Dias.
Like your poem. O said "I,m not a dictator," meaning that is what he has been thinking of himself. Mabye he will leave and become dictator of Detroit, a more lucrative job.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 10:44AM
He also said, "I'm not an ideologue." Which is equally telling.
I'm waiting for him to say, "I'm not a narcissist" or "I'm not an affirmative action baby" or "I'm not a pathological liar" or "I'm not an ignoramus" or "I'm not preening fraud" or "I'm not . . ."
That gives me an idea for a new board game.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 10:48AM
Or "I'm not an emotional 16-year-old" or "I'm not a treacherous schemer" or "I'm not a spoiled punk" or "I'm not a toplofty gasbag" or . . . .
Anybody else want to play . . .?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 11:03AM
"I'm not a native a Kenya", "I'm not an unpublished editor of 'Harvard Law Review'", "I was a resident of Connecticut long enough to get a Social Security Number there" (I'll leave the bathhouse stuff for TLP)...
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 11:06AM
..."I'm not an economic ignoramus", "I'm not trying to destroy our foreign policy to give us our overdue comeuppance", "I'm not a stuttering pawn of Soros incapable of articulating an original thought not displayed on a teleprompter"...
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 1:04PM
1. "I am not a friend of Billy Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn," the cop killing/terrorists who dedicated the book to Sirhan Sirhan.
2. " I did not hear or pay attention for twenty years to Rev Wright's anti semitic, anti american, anti white sermons."
3. " I don't need Jessee Jackson to cut off my balls." Because I don't have any.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 5:38PM
I Am NOT Anti-America.
R Martin| 3.3.13 @ 9:28AM
This is for TLP and Tina B.
Just a diddly dooly dang minute, TLP. This get together was not my idea. It was started by those Yuengling beer fans (can’t remember who exactly, but I think Kennesaw was a ringleader) who thought it might be nice to meet in Pottsville, drink some beer and say hello. Those guys have probably never been to Pottsville. So, given that my house is between Pottsville and points south and is almost certainly a better party venue, I made the offer. I did not offer to be Perle Mesta.
Now, Tina, you have offered to do some organizing along with your X chromosome compadres (or is it commadres?), and that offer is graciously accepted. However, I think you should get some help from the Yuengling boys (assuming they will step forward and identify themselves). And just to pique their interest, I am willing to invite Dick Yuengling and his daughters to join us. I have set-up an email account, littlericky411@gmail.com so that you can contact me directly. Cheers,
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 9:43AM
I stand by ready to assist in whatever ways that I can, and can be reached via albertconstantinejr@gmail.com for whatever can't be done in the thread.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 11:01AM
Al, I've been thinking. You wouldn't by any chance be related to the Roman Emperor who consolidated his power at the Battle of the Milvian Bridge in 311, underwent a peculiar kind of equivocal conversion but nonetheless and more or less put an end to the intermittent Roman persecution of Christians with the Edict of Milan in 313, appointed bishops to be civil judges in their local communities, exempted the Church from taxes, moved the Empire's capital to the East, put his worthless sons in charge of segments of the Empire in the West, and, despite his own ambivalent Christianity, was the son of St. Helena, about whom Evelyn Waugh wrote a famous novel--would you?
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 11:23AM
No,though as we noted earlier, he did wind up with a city named after him, until the caliphate expanded, and his immortality turned out to have the life expectancy of the naming rights of the local post office.
Nor am I the scion of the lumber family who wrote the indispensable guidebook for craftsmen and carpenters entitled "Know Your Wood".
My lineage is appropriate traced to episode 117 of "The Rockford Files", originally aired 121479, entitled "Just a Coupla Guys" (it was a David Chase written episode, meant to be a pilot for the story of a pair of young hustlers trying to ingratiate themselves into the New Jersey organized crime scene, which he finally was able to successfully realize two decades later with "The Sopranos"). Character actor Cliff Carnell portrayed the senior member of the family, and introduced Albert Constantine, Jr. about halfway through the episode.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 11:56AM
Ah. A nom de Rockford. I should have known.
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 1:08PM
I will help, and will contact Albert and Mr Martin. We can set up an email list, like I did for my soccer team, to contact everyone. We need to sort out any crashing trolls.
We should talk about the date/time.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 2:20PM
Can contribute to the spirits fund via TLP. Summertime is our busy field season here work-wise. Long days 19-plus hours of light, gotta squeeze 6 months of work into 3.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 5:42PM
We should email one person dates that works for us (spring, summer, fall) and take it from there.
I too will help in any way I can!
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 2:02PM
Been to Pottsville and the Yuengling brewery in 2009. Missed the tour, got some tasters along with magnets and Ts though. The Wifey and I got overwhelmed by the nearby Cabella's retail store and it took awhile to break away, hence missed the tour. Also visited Stoudts and Bethlehem Brewworks. Rumor has it Anchorage will be getting our own Cabella's less than 5 miles away from our place. Very cool.
KennesawJack| 3.3.13 @ 2:20PM
Mr. Martin, Sir. My conscience and sense of fair play compel me to admit to having been one of those who MAY have had a slight bit of input when the idea of a get-together to have a few Yuenglings together was first proffered. After all, I am personally responsible for a significant percentage of the Yuengling family fortune and, yes, I have been to Pottsville just to see if my money has been well spent. It has. That being said, I am going to place the majority of blame squarely where it belongs, on anyone but me. I will, however, help Mr. Constantine to the extent I am able. A lifetime of experience, though, tells me that if the gals want to take charge, a wise male gets the hell out of the way. So, Tina and Al and whomever, let me know if you need me to help. I have great skill as a taster of samples as they come out of the keg to insure quality and consistency.
Kennesaw "I can tap a keg of Yuengling while blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back" Jack
Hardcard| 3.3.13 @ 1:23PM
zip code sounds like a racial slur to me. Oh how low we have come. E.Bob will most likely excommunicate you for that one. I still in the holding pen at DHS a very burly guard with a beard by the name of Sueann has informed me it doesn't look like I'll be released soon, all the DHS investigators have been relocated and assigned to major cities around the D.C. area, she/he thinks it has something to do with the hospitaliztion of the Queen in the U.K. and our dear leader's promise to the Queen (recored on the I-phone he gave her awhile back) that's when obamao-djingo told her he could take over for her in case something happens to her, since he is a great leader, fully experienced in ruling the masses by fiat,and he speaks English like he was born here,( hardly any accent) he went to columbia and havard you know. I can't continue at the moment, sueann has returned with a length of hose and some chains, I think it's shower time (I've been here since Friday afternoon without a spritz) I'm not sure what the chains are for? Talk soon the Hardcard.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 1:52PM
So Biden wasn't kidding when he spoke of "puttin' y'all back in chains", he was just obscuring who was doing what to whom.
Perhaps Aunt Zeituni could assist, that is, if that was not her working under her alias Sueann (there seems to be a history in the Obama family with documents such as birth certificates and social security cards of a questionable origin).
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 2:09PM
Albert-Let's all hope we will survive the next 4 years and beyond so we can eventually hear about all of BHOs background checks over the years prior to his residency in the WH. If at all.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 2:23PM
I would be happy to know nothing about him if he would just go now.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 2:28PM
Indeed, my friend indeed.
KennesawJack| 3.3.13 @ 4:09PM
Al, I sent you an email with my contact info. Let me know if you got it.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 4:15PM
Got it, and Tina's, and AuH20 girl's, too. A mailing list begins.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 4:12PM
Before TLP closes it down, after the above mention of the mob and the Sopranos, I got to thinking about Frankie Valli's role in that series, and I thought about his hit "Bye-Bye Baby". As it is a song about a man giving his mistress the heave-ho, it normally would be a song associated with the Clintons. However, as our topic of the week is Bob Woodward, and the thuglike Chicago mentality of the Obama Administration, I've done a new version:
They will hate you after what you say
Won't put up with you any longer
Ya just gotta tell it anyway
Bye Bye Bobby, Bobby goodbye.
Bye Bobby, Bobby bye bye.
Bye bye Bobby, they’ll make you cry
Bye bobby, Bobby bye bye.
You're one guy who helped take down Nixon
now its concrete that they’re all mixin’
Shoes
a new pair for youse
Could stay quiet and never pester
but told the truth about the sequester
You hurt O so ya gotta go, so
Bye Bye Bobby, Bobby goodbye.
Bye Bobby,Bobby bye bye.
Bye bye Bobby, they’ll make you cry
Bye bobby, Bobby bye bye.
Wish that you coulda kept your mouth shut
Could retire and just be rich but
No-o-o-oo
You shot off your mouth like Joe.
Shoulda blamed it all on John Boehner
Now out the window with your half gainer,
You hurt O so ya gotta go, so:
Bye Bye Bobby, Bobby goodbye.
Bye Bobby, Bobby bye bye.
Bye bye Bobby, they’ll make you cry
Bye bobby, Bobby bye bye.
R Martin| 3.3.13 @ 4:54PM
Good one, Albert; fighting to the end. Sure glad you are on our organizing committee.
This has been an excellent contest response, hasn't it? Is it because one, just one member of the mainstream media dared raise his voice against the Regime and we all got to thinking and (perhaps fantasizing) how the evils of this Regime could be stopped dead if there were an honest media? Wouldn't it be nice if it were so.
KennesawJack| 3.3.13 @ 5:04PM
I remember once someone telling me that even a whore sometimes says "No". Maybe, just maybe, the MSM has decided to elevate themselves to at least that level. One can only hope.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 5:05PM
Albert- Awesome stuff
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 5:14PM
It's 5 O'clock, and I noticed that NOBODY'S asked where I've been, all afternoon. I'm filing that under - "What have you done for me since Noon?"
If you must know? I was busy as a Big Hairy Beaver.
True story.
560 Comments. If that's not a TAS Record? It's because nobody makes Records, anymore.
This all started on a whim, in the Summer of 2012, when an Intrepid Lawn Cutting Mr. Mom, threw caution to the wind, crawled out on a limb, and asked the age Olde Question: "Would you like to Play a Game?"
We had 18 Respondents, that day, and I remember leaving my helper at a coupla Lawns, while I ran back home to check on my Baby: The Contest.
As I recall, the Winners were Colonel Mike's "Beach Scene, Lord of the Flies", and Albert's Entry "I wish I was TLP" (or some such thing).
My very first Analogy was "The Warriors" and the Contest was about the Upcoming Election.
9 Months later, we've tallied over 500 Entries.
We've gone from a Scattered bunch of individuals with nothing to do on Fridays, to a Cohesive Unit of Friends and Family, with nothing to do All Weekend.
You should all give yourselves a pat on the back, a round of applause, and write out a $50 Check, made out to me, and send it to Albert, who has my Mailing Address.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 5:37PM
As usual, you guys have proved, once again, that you're not the Life's Losers that Ross Kaminsky says you are, when he Emails me.
Tou're not just a bunch Shut Ins, constantly looking out the window for the Meals on Wheels Truck, and the Mailman, with your Soc. Sec. Checks.
You're not locked inside your Apartments watching Wheel of Fortune reruns on yor VCR's. and you're not sitting their with Court Ordered Electronic Bracelets on your ankles, due to a Meghan's Law Restriction.
You're none of those.
You're wonderful people, who represent what's Good in this Country, and I love you, even if nobody else does. And, I appreciate all of you, more than you'll ever know, for giving me the excuse I need, to sit in the Basement and Drink my Beer.
God Bless You.
I appreciate the Newbies that joined us. (I'm assigning Sixgun to a Foxhole with Colonel Mike 3/505) As well as the Lifers, who just get better every week, as they get one weekend closer to Death.
You've changed my life. I used to look in the Mirror and ask myself: "What have you done in your life, worth remembering?"
Now, when I look there? I say: "What do I do if any of these people ever find out where I live? Have I put my Family at risk?"
Li'l Jen| 3.3.13 @ 11:02PM
I wish I had stumbled on the contest sooner. It brings a smile to my face every time.
Someone said something about transcripts--I'd love to go back and read all of the earlier entries I missed.
Thanks for another great weekend, y'all.
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 5:54PM
Tim, thank you brother - what a band of American Patriots you've put together.
None of us care what race, sex, age or religion we are.
We've bonded with a love for our Country, respect for each other and a passion that others may not understand.
We're from all parts of the country - no north vs south or east beats the west here - for us its
AMERICANS FOR AMERICA.
So the time I spend here is not a chore, its a few minutes each day that reminds me
I AM NOT ALONE - I have my brothers and sisters from TAS and together we are Strong.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 6:07PM
Ignore the Joellen behind the Curtain.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 6:03PM
Okay. Let's get down to why we're really here: The Prizes.
Seeing as how I've been informed by the Post Office that, for some idiotic reason, it's Illegal to Ship actual Abortions thru the Mail? I've decided to ship the Plastic Bags that they arrived at the Offices of The Guinness Book of World Records, in. As well as the Polaroids of Anna K giving the Thumbs Up, with her Legs in the Stirrups.
Everyone who Entered this weekend gets a Bag and a Photo of Anna K.
I do believe that Navritil, and Johnny "Twinkle Toes" II, truly outdid themselves, and deserve to be Singled Out for Special Compensation.
As such, not only will they recieve the Bag and the Photo, they will each receive a Planned Parent Coupon for a Free out of Body Really Late Term Abortion, should they choose to Redeem it.
As for all of the used Condoms?
I've wrapped them in old Doublemint Gum Wrappers, and Mailed them out to Purp, DRed, vtwin, Jackass from London, and Arnie.
In closing, I wanna remind you, one more time, that The Contest is not all about me. At least 1% is about you guys. None of this would be happening without you.
I also wanna thank all of you, from the bottom of my Viagra Thumping Heart, and remind you to Sign those Checks that you send to Albert, in my name.
See you Tomorrow.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 6:06PM
Ladies and Gentleman. (And Pesco's Horse: Tim)
My Friend: Albert Constantine Jr.
Take it away, Albert.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 6:08PM
For this week’s wrap up, I thought about getting the Hollywood Gay Men’s Chorus to sing a medley of the various ditties (and for TLP and John Navratil, that starts with the letter d) composed during this week’s contest, but apparently they had another engagement with Purp, Arnie, Jack London and the crew. Instead, as they were touched that anyone remembered “Apocalypse Now”, Michael Herr and John Milius stepped up to prepare some narration for this week’s wrap-up.
(The scene starts with an aerial view of a jungle, with flame-filled mushroom clouds erupting, resulting from high level air strikes. The scene changes to a plain with craggy mountains, and we see a speeding SUV suddenly erupt from a missile hit. There is a sitar playing, followed by the sound of a helicopter’s rotors turning, which morphs into to an overhead ceiling fan, as the scene transforms to the interior of a darkened hotel room, with the narrator alternating between tai chi and drunkenly swilling from a bottle of Martel cognac. The sounds of the fan grow louder, than softer, as he begins his narration)
Sunday. Crap, it’s already Sunday. Each time I wake up, I think it will be Friday, and the start of the contest.
When it was the day after the first ones, it was worse. I’d check out the threads, and there’s be nothing-just a bunch of Anti-Semitic pontification by Jack in Wisconsin, or a binky remark by Appleby. I’d hardly posted a word myself except to mock Purp.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 6:09PM
I wanted a mission, but for my sins I found instead the contest. It was a real choice contest. I’d be going down a thread that would snake like a main circuit cable through the website, exposing the range of conservative thought and leftist lockstep to parody and satire, as if Paul Shanklin and Joan Rivers had a love child raised by William F Buckley and Jeanne Kirkpatrick, suckled on Kipling and Service between reruns of Seinfeld, and lectured by Friedman and Rod Serling, as Armed Forces radio blasted its eclectic mix of music genres in the background.
At journey’s beginning was Goldwater Girl. She would confuse the enemy by changing to symbols to those from the periodic table, making surveillance and tracking difficult. There was a Drunken Sailor, who would wander in and out of the boat, tending to the fallen, particularly if there was liquor nearby for medicinal purposes. He was aided by Moe Blotz, who was from Jersey, and could never decide if he wanted to get crushed on the turnpike while driving two or 18 wheels.
There was an Olde Farte, who cried out (often in CAPITALS) for Great Caesar’s ghost. There was Sixgun, who followed sage advice and never got into the boat, and watched amused from the shore along with some others, like Stephie and the old torpedoman, Subvet. There was John II, worn out from decades of freshman English full of students who couldn’t read or write, who could recite the cast of all the Charlie Chan flicks better than IMDB.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 6:10PM
Tina B. had sent decades of those students his way, and was glad to see them go (particularly if she found their stash, first). Al Adab paid attention in his math class (Tina B. can tell you how rare that is), and got the first slice of π.
There was CJW, waiting for a winning season for his Pittsburgh Pirates, and made a pitch for the play by play, and a movie he wanted to make. There was Joellen, who was also from Jersey, and made a sauce like a saucier, and could bust a rhyme, as long as she didn’t have to spell it.
There was a Georgia transplant KJ sent by the Air Force who could play the oldies like no one could, but couldn’t find a TV if someone threw it out his apartment window at him. He was with a Navy guy named Pete, who swore when it all was over he was going far inland to a place like New Mexico, and trade his seat on the boat for a saddle on a horse named Tim.
Stkman was from Texas, and if you forgot it, you’d remember the Alamo. Navratil was also from Texas, and in Houston, there are claims that He Did Start the Fire. Kwan was an opera fan, and the village of Binh Dinh Dap would reenact Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries anytime he’d ride by in his helicopter.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 6:10PM
R Martin was from a farm in the Brandywine Valley, and the light and space from this place left him answering to the name of Ricky, doing Beach Boys hits in a voice like Curly from the Three Stooges, while running the commissary with the advice of Austrian economists. Then there was Li’l Jen, who came from out of nowhere into the mission, wearing a Green Beret like Ham Chuk, and kickin’ butt like Chuck Norris.
From Alaska there was BL, who was kind of like Dracula in that he only seemed to come out at night, but then, the nights up there could be so long, maybe he couldn’t tell the difference anymore. Hardcard was wrapped too tight for New York, and probably wrapped too tight for the contest. All he wanted was Monty Hall to walk with Carol Merrill to his prize behind Door #1.
Bob Grant was forever learning new
trickstechniques in communication♪♫, and sharing them with the rest of the crew.Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 6:11PM
Then there was the chief, TLP. They might have been our entries, but is sure as hell was TLP’s contest. He set the rules, and was the only link in the chain of command to the Joint Chiefs of Judges (who were so called not due to the National Security Act of 1947, but because they got their medical marijuana from a local Indian reservation). He was an expert on spelling and the profane, and he had the curious habit of mailing his dirty underwear to others instead of laundering them.
(Cut to the scene at an ancient Khmer temple, or a farm in the Brandywine Valley made up to look like one. TLP and his Asian bride gaze out from the throne beneath the beatific image of Buddha, as the gathered revelers hack up the water buffalo, as Pecos Pete explains to CJW where paddy oysters come from following his duet with TLP of “I Feel Pretty”, KJ and Albert are chased by large rolling kegs of Yuengling, as Bob Grant and John II explain punctuation to Hardcard, Tina B blesses over all with her tiara and princess wand while Joellen stirs the sauce; GG and Li’L Jen are digging a hole to dispose of a bag with medical waste symbols, Moe Blotz does wheelies on a Harley)
R Martin| 3.3.13 @ 6:33PM
Dang, wonderful contest entries and an exceptional wrap-up. Kinda fun.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 7:30PM
"Kinda Fun"?
R Martin| 3.3.13 @ 8:23PM
Everything is relative.
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 6:35PM
Albert
You is a genius.
KennesawJack| 3.3.13 @ 6:48PM
He be ALL a 'dat.
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 7:29PM
Albert
I sent you and R Martin my contact info.
Whovever sends us their contact info can confirm it here since their name is registered here
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 7:32PM
That was a thoughtful move, CJW.
That'll make it easier for you to send me that $50.
CJW| 3.3.13 @ 10:06PM
Tim
The sequester prevents me from sending you the $50 as I have no discretion.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 8:09PM
Albert: Well done!
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 9:09PM
Albert- You Sir are simply amazing!
Joellen| 3.3.13 @ 6:29PM
Al - masterful. This MUST be read at our get together.
AuH2O Girl| 3.3.13 @ 6:59PM
Alberto,
Excellent close! You guys are possibly the best friends I've yet to meet. If we have to put up with Barackolini, at least we can entertain each other the next 4 years! I'm hoping our rendezvous with destiny comes to fruition this summer, and I'll be glad to help with the arrangements. Ya'll have a great week.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 7:28PM
More SNAPS!
Not only is Al's masterly summary in a class by itself, but Timmy's astonishing prizes have plumbed new depths of the grotesque and the tasteless.
As a gesture of reconciliation with the Obamanation, I shall forward my portion of the prizes to Associate Professor Kathleen Sebelius, the wizardess of HHS mandates of equivalent tastelessness.
I wish also to take this opportunity to announce to all my TAS associates and fellow contestants that, on this morning, March 3, 2013, our (I mean, my wife's and my) daughter Anna gave birth to her first child and our eighth grandchild: the colossally gorgeous and brilliant Aileen Therese!
Our breathtakingly beautiful granddaughter's name is the result of a brief debate between my daughter and her husband. Needless to say, my daughter won the debate, so that my son-in-law may continue to learn who the real boss is in stable marriages. It didn't take me long to learn either.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 7:36PM
Congratulations, Grandpa.
You deserve it.
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 7:38PM
God Bless her.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 7:38PM
Thanks. But we spell it "Grampa."
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 7:41PM
Congratulations, Grandpa, and it will be easy to address all gift labels for this granddaughter with the symbol @.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 7:48PM
Thanks, Al. But forty years of marriage and child-rearing have left me more partial to the symbol $.
KennesawJack| 3.3.13 @ 8:16PM
Out of necessity, no doubt.
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 8:06PM
Congratulations, Grampa! And many more!
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 9:12PM
Congrats J2 and much health and happiness to you and your family
TLP| 3.3.13 @ 7:28PM
That was Amazing, Albert.
All I can say is: Make sure you send me those Checks!
SEMPER FI, my friend.
And, good night.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 7:46PM
Speaking of Asian wives, mine tossed out the mailing address of his of her weekly angry cleaning binges.
Kaminsky said not to worry, though, as he sent me an e-mail saying to forward them to him, and he was going to make some trades guaranteed to double your money, as Ben Stein had a friend who was going to use it to refurbish and then resell some airplanes, just as soon as he was available in 18 to 36 months.
Albert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 7:48PM
address of
his ofyours on her weeklyAlbert Constantine Jr.| 3.3.13 @ 7:57PM
...and another congratulation is due; as a result of John II's latest grandchild, the contest broke 600...
Pecos Pete| 3.3.13 @ 8:17PM
Tim: I was nice to you this Contest. Compliments galore! No prize for me? I'm not sure how that happened, but I guarantee next Contest won't be pretty. And then there's Old Tim who's gonna be cantankerous until the next Contest cause he didn't win either.
John II| 3.3.13 @ 8:26PM
Tim: You need to come back and say "good night" again, or this thread isn't going to end right.
BL in AK| 3.3.13 @ 9:20PM
Great contest! over 600 posts. Many thanks to TLP keeping the lamp lit for those of us in different time zones and allowing me to share thoughts with so many fine Americans. Thank You All!
cheerz
BL
KennesawJack| 3.3.13 @ 11:09PM
And good-night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.